Ridiculously overblown job titles.

[theboss]

Steamer said:

Windows Engineer

I work in a Windows engineering team full of these... I'm not sure what's ridiculously overblown about it. If anything I'd say its rather understated. I accept its a slight misuse of the word engineer generally, but its relevant in an IT context.

[Squiggs]

Steamer said:

Windows Engineer

A bloke a bucket of water, a ladder and a chamois leather?

[Spare tyre]

Junior skivvy

[Leafspring]

Spare tyre said:

Junior skivvy

We have one of those AKA "the lad" or "the apprentice"

Edited by Leafspring on Wednesday 26th November 20:27

[anonymous-user]

deckster said:

Not especially overblown, but I was always rather jealous of a friend who works in the life & pensions sector and had, for a while, the job title 'Director of Death'.

I did a bit of work for a large training company that had a "Director of Corporate Happiness".

The strange thing is that he was a really miserable bd

[Abagnale]

So would you be if some bellend saddled you with that albatross of a job title.

[ChrisNic]

Area manager for my bank, Local CEO......

[mybrainhurts]

vournikas said:

Thinking about it, I seem to have the opposite of the OP; ridiculously overblown duties compared to my job title.

Akin to :

I am a baker by trade
I apply for a job as a baker with a baking company
I'm accepted as a baker by said company

Who then require me to :

Bake
Make the flour
Raise the chickens who lay the eggs for the dough
Build the chicken coops
Carry out risk assessments for the building of the coops
Source some corn for the chicken feed
Acquire a reasonably priced field to grow the corn for the chickens
Get a bking for using the wrong feed for the wrong type of chickens
And while you're at it, why haven't you made any butter for the cake mix?!?!?
Lack of milk is not - apparently - an excuse
So I'm asked to source cows for milk
I source some free range Jersey's
They're not ISO9001 quality Jersey cows, because I don't know how ISO9001 procedures work
It doesn't matter
So I teach myself ISO9001 procedures, and source ISO9001 cows for quality controlled butter for cake mix

Everything is now in place : my baking skills, my chicken raising skills, my milk producing skills; everything we need to be Master Bakers

Except my M.D. has now decided to enter the Halal Butchery business.

You'll be good at slitting throats, then?

I'll make a note of that.

PS....tell us about these milk producing skills you possess. Sounds gruesome.

[wildcat45]

My mates Ex was "sustainability Lead".

How can one be a lead without a word to follow, lead consultant, engineer etc.

Basically the job title meant, always on the sick, not good at her job so we set her off pissing around with green issues which have nothing to do with what we do (Regional office of a government department) and we can make her redundant easily.

They started handing out Director titles where my wife worked. Her boss became Director of...... She became Assistant Director of ........

She left for a better more responsible role with a normal job title where she is now Head of........

After she left her old place they got rid of the Directors of....... Made them redundant, and the Assistant directors of got new titles as Head of.......

Beware an impressive sounding job title. It can be a route to the dole.

[mybrainhurts]

wildcat45 said:

"sustainability Lead".

Holy goat, I was going to say that.

So I'll just spit and leave.....

[Captain Muppet]

I used to be a senior engineer. I was the youngest member of the department, and also the only person at senior level and with everyone at least one level above me. I used to dream of a new recruit coming in so I could have them make me tea and quietly hate me behind my back.

I haven't had people working for me since I was a junior engineer.

I know a chap who is "Head of Dreams". I used to a chap who was "The Voice of The Customer".

[anonymous-user]

Had an email exchange with the Director of a print company last week who wrote "the tape would not of happened here", when I was complaining about their piss poor packaging that damaged my print.

Amuses me that the very same person who is the director of a small company like that, would be somewhere near the bottom of the pile in a large company of ~20000 people.

I personally just stick my department and phone number on the bottom of my work emails. I don't list my job title, BSc, professional bodies, or other crap like that.

Edited by RenOHH on Thursday 27th November 00:13

[mybrainhurts]

nick s said:

Sheepshanks said:

mybrainhurts said:

Personal Assistant...what's that, secretary who wipes her boss's bum...??

Someone who probably holds your career in her hands....

I don't think people truly realise just what a good PA does. Everyone assumes they make tea and book meeting rooms. My GF is EA (executive assistant) to the MD of a large tech company. Sounds overblown, but really, really isn't. She presents to the ILT on his behalf, puts proposals to the board and is currently restructuring the UK function and reporting structure. She's also implemented a new KPI & bonus structure for all the sales guys without any input from her boss. He didn't even ask her to do it, She just identified it as something that needed improving and started working on it. She came up with it and he will just approve it. She does these things all off her own back. She thinks for her boss and eases his workload massively. Huge responsibility. Yet most people we know make assumptions based on what the old image of a PA/EA does.

I think another problem is that there is such a difference I what PA's do, as all assistants have that title. Granted there are some low level PA's that do basic diary management, but it all depends on who you're working for and how senior the role is?

Blimey...

You crack a whimsy and you get the Spanish Inquisition...

[mybrainhurts]

So she does wipe your bum, then?

Edit...

All right, who deleted his post to make me look like a loon?

Edited by mybrainhurts on Saturday 29th November 20:26

[scrubchub]

Have a mate who works in a call centre for one of the big car insurers. He's worked there 6 years or so and still hasn't broke 4 figures take home a month - genuinely struggles for money due to this. Wouldn't guess it going by his made up job titles that he likes to give himself - he's been a 'senior complaints executive' and a 'quality executive' in the last couple of years.

[crystalmethod]

AOL has a guy with the title "Digital Prophet".

Brief article here which is worth a look: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/11/17/cryst...

[Number 5]

Gargamel said:

OP in the dark ages I am afraid.

Personnel is so 1980's

And yes Talent Acquisition is my job title...

Should I leave now?

Yes

[Captain Muppet]

Number 5 said:

Gargamel said:

OP in the dark ages I am afraid.

Personnel is so 1980's

And yes Talent Acquisition is my job title...

Should I leave now?

Yes

Easy now, some guys I know who were in Personnel, then in Human Resources, are now Talent Acquisition and Development Executives.

They don't just shuffle CVs and deflect complaints about the company, they also make people redundant. So they are to be feared, if not respected. Although obviously whoever picked the job title is a tt.

[OldSkoolRS]

mybrainhurts said:

Blimey...

You crack a whimsy and you get the Spanish Inquisition...

We didn't expect that! (But then no one expects the Spanish Inquisition).

[AndyNetwork]

My job title changed in January, when they re-arranged the department around a bit.

I used to be Senior ICT Officer, I am now ICT Infrastructure Analyst.

The ICT Officers (note, not Senior!) that were below me are now ICT Desktop Analysts and we have introduced a new Helpdesk Analyst role.

All because the boss wanted to standardise roles after a merger, and didn't want to adopt the job titles from either of the old companies, just in case it upset anyone. Also made it easier to get one guy out of the door, as his position had been made redundant, in favour of the helpdesk role.