Ridiculously overblown job titles.
Discussion
Blown2CV said:
IBM have "master inventor" and "distinguished engineer" but they aren't actually dished out willy nilly so maybe not overblown. Do sound a bit silly though.
I have an IBM business card given to me by an absolute ****, his title was"Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
GreigM said:
I have an IBM business card given to me by an absolute ****, his title was
"Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
I think you've won the thread."Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
My actual job title on my contract is long and stupid. My business card simply has my name.
Generally the poncier the title on business cards the more of a self important non influential knob is handing it over.
Eg I have an employee whose title is Planning director. His business card says :
Group Main Board Land and Planning Director. And yes he is a bit of s plonker.
I now approve business card wording.
Generally the poncier the title on business cards the more of a self important non influential knob is handing it over.
Eg I have an employee whose title is Planning director. His business card says :
Group Main Board Land and Planning Director. And yes he is a bit of s plonker.
I now approve business card wording.
blueg33 said:
I now approve business card wording.
I do not have a permanent position right now but as i spend most of my time dealing with biggish issues or covering managers it was pointed out that i should have some business cards. I would be happy with just my name, company and contact details but that is not allowed as we have a set template so we have to have a job title on there. There was some confusion over what title i should have on mine.
When i was asked what i wanted i asked to be "Sourthern Area Lackey" and this was turned down as lacking professionalism.
I then asked for "Southern Area Professional Lackey" and now it is viewed that i no longer need business cards.
LouD86 said:
My official title on my contract is "Sales and Marketing Manager". I choose Simply to have my name, and contact details. No title at all. That way, I can perform any role necessary to those who visit or call
That's the same as me. Today I've actually been accounts, marketing, operations and maintenance. And now I think I'll be Senior Vice President of POETS day.BrabusMog said:
RobinBanks said:
Can't we all be Vice President?
Yes, but I am the Senior VP. Hmmm, maybe Executive Vice President has a better ring to it? The position was nowhere near as important or, sadly, as well paid as the title suggested and I was known to the older colleagues who watched childrens TV in the 1970s as "Champion The Wonder Horse"
NailedOn said:
I once had the job title of Global Operations Director. Like most organisations, everything was abbreviated to an acronym.
Took a bit of ribbing I did.
At university I had a lecturer who signed off all her emails with 'Be good!"Took a bit of ribbing I did.
When one day she wrote "Be god!" it seemed a little demanding.
i always do a big 
at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.
Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall. Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
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