Ridiculously overblown job titles.

[daemon]

Saw a car wash today with a sign up recruiting a "Vehicle Appearance Expert"

[daemon]

Blown2CV said:

i always do a big at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.

Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.

Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.

(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)

+1

I just describe myself as an IT Contractor if anyone asks what i do.

[Don]

Blown2CV said:

The company i work for has about 50 claimed CTOs. Every fker seems to think they are one. They are not.

Eh? CTO. Chief Technology Officer? Chief is supposed to means there's only one. The CTO is the guy you kill if it doesn't work! (The big new system etc)

I've held that position. Although the firm did number only ten at its peak.

[Don]

daemon said:

Blown2CV said:

i always do a big at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.

Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.

Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.

(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)

+1

I just describe myself as an IT Contractor if anyone asks what i do.

Hah! Yes. I gave up trying to explain to people what I did. It's really easy now.

Me: "Do you have online banking?"
They: "Yes"
Me: "That."

[megapixels83]

at one of my previous jobs one corporate client almost all the staff where titled VP, SVP or MD (yep 4 MD's on one team) and all the ones I managed, were bringing home in excess of £2m a year each in bonus and carried interests, even the ones aged 25 which I was shocked at. Quite frankly you could call me chief co.. sucker if I earned those sort of figures.

[Sheepshanks]

Don said:

Blown2CV said:

The company i work for has about 50 claimed CTOs. Every fker seems to think they are one. They are not.

Eh? CTO. Chief Technology Officer? Chief is supposed to means there's only one. The CTO is the guy you kill if it doesn't work! (The big new system etc)

I've held that position. Although the firm did number only ten at its peak.

In big technology related companies you often get an "Office of the CTO" and that can have quite a large staff, all of whom seem to think they are the CTO.

[Blown2CV]

Don said:

Blown2CV said:

The company i work for has about 50 claimed CTOs. Every fker seems to think they are one. They are not.

Eh? CTO. Chief Technology Officer? Chief is supposed to means there's only one. The CTO is the guy you kill if it doesn't work! (The big new system etc)

You'd think that wouldn't you? But no, apparently you can have one per country, one per business line/unit, and just some who use the title fraudulently and never get pulled up on it! The real CTO is the "Global CTO".

[AW111]

Admin asks what I want on business cards.
I tell her.
Cards arrive with garbled version of requested title

I have used maybe half a dozen.

Next ones will just say

AW 111
R&D

That's what I do, who cares about titles?






One earlier company, we techies succeded in getting

MOTS

for Member Of Technical Staff. I think it was once a HP acronym.

[Barlows]

"Director of First Impressions" = Receptionist

[john2443]

AW111 said:

One earlier company, we techies succeded in getting

MOTS

for Member Of Technical Staff. I think it was once a HP acronym.

You could have split the tech and non tech into Technical Working Analyst Team Staff and Corporate User Non Technical Staff

[Willy Nilly]

When I have to fill out a passport for a load of grain there is a bit that says Position. I don't have a job title, so have put down Senior Potato Executive in the past, next time I will just write Standing.

[North West Tom]

Bump.

https://twitter.com/BrentfordFC/status/61297107327...

[Leafspring]

Leafspring said:

My job title is "General Repairs and Marine Coatings Technician"

Basically I fix boats... and paint 'em

Mines now changed from the above to plain

"General Repairs"

But it came with a 33% pay increase so I'll survive

[AW111]

Leafspring said:

Leafspring said:

My job title is "General Repairs and Marine Coatings Technician"

Basically I fix boats... and paint 'em

Mines now changed from the above to plain

"General Repairs"

But it came with a 33% pay increase so I'll survive

You get paid 1/3 more for 1/2 the job?
I'd be happy with that