On the subject of life and women

[BryanC]

Wow - light the blue touch paper and stand back !

Landlord said:

I'm not sure how having your missus die on you is living in denial. I'm pretty sure he'd rather not have this "new found freedom" and rather have his wife back.

But that's not for me to say nor assume.

I don't don't think I am in denial about anything as my OP was suggesting that I have suddenly found myself in a frame of mind that after 5 long years I am reaching out to seize the best of whatever is going for me.

From the lowest of lows and losing my wife under such awful and sudden circumstance and then me thinking for a short while that suicide was the way out shows what happens and where I came from.
As one post suggested that I had councelling is a story in itself, suggested by a g/f when on a short holiday break and over dinner I found that I was not comfortable with the feeling that i was enjoying myself in a lovely girl's company and it just didn't feel right. She knew my circumstances and when I made the phone call, she was amazed that I had the nerve to ask for help cos blokes bottle stuff up and don't ask for help. As stated, the conclusion was that what was holding me back was deep inside and that I just had to man up, embrace the world and take no prisoners. Easier said than done and that was a year ago. Some 'me-time' away in France and Greece has helped me get closer to where I should be.

I'm certainly not attracted to other blokes, not even Oliver Reed style in Women in Love, have been out with some great ladies, and a few less so, and yes, modesty prevents me from saying more, but I'm as red blooded as any PH-er. Lets just play down the fact that I have two really good boozy mates, can dine to a better standard that a few cream crackers and a cheddar slice, and can laugh at others misfortune ( perhaps when I shouldn't do, but this is Pistonheads ! ).

I wrote, admittedly slightly refreshed, in my OP, that I now suddenly find myself able to do what I want, when I want, can afford to be stupid if it suits me as I am accountable to no-one, but in a world of an economic depression, it might appear smug to make too much of a point that at last I couldn't care less what it takes. I can plan to get some travel sorted, stop out without worrying about what is waiting at home - no rolling pins, explanations, nothing.

I am honest in what I do, have no secrets, perhaps I am too open, but the freedom of being in this position is something that very few will know, including either extremes. My OP was to celebrate this fact when in the back of my mind, I knew where I'd been to get there. Landlord is right - I would swap everything for her to be back with me but I have reached the end of a tunnel and ....well watch out. I'm not as sprightly as I was but I have no beer gut, have a GSOH after being on this site, did a long cross country yesterday, at last have a smile in my eyes and am starting to enjoy the company of the ladies without feeling guilty. I am not an oil painting but there comes a time when the ladies realise that looks aint everything. I won't prostitute myself on any dating site but believe that there is somebody up there steering destiny. Oh, and by the way, for the record I don't need any Billy Bingo's bongo tablets just yet.
Stay Cool all...

[stuart-b]

Byran it's nice to read something positive for a change on this forum rather than the usual negative, derogatory and menial poo-poo most people come out with (as this thread has already highlighted). People seem to think these days if you aren't posting a meme, ranting or "hating" then you can't post on a forum. How about some outdoor camp fire open discussions every now and then?! No one is forcing you to reply to a post.

I genuinely think some people would benefit from shutting up and listening/reading a bit more and reflecting - rather than spouting out nonsense at every opportunity. They might be better off in life.

[blindswelledrat]

Landlord said:

"3 blokes who have lived their lives in denial until it's too late in the erectile sense, to make use of their newfound freedom"

It was the staggering, wanton ignorance of the "lived their lives in denial" bit that got me. I'm not sure how having your missus die on you is living in denial. I'm pretty sure he'd rather not have this "new found freedom" and rather have his wife back.

But that's not for me to say nor assume.

For avoidance of doubt , I had read the first post which doesn't even mention this and skim read the others. Until your hypocritical hissy fit I hadn't even noticed he was a widower. Even knowing that now it's not like he's sitting there dwelling on it and feeling sorry for himselfas it was some time ago. You are the only one determined to turn this into a 'poor poor widower loses his wife and then gets the piss taken by a bad man' thread because it crosses some arbitrary line of taste in your self important head.

Anyway op, I'm sorry if I upset you, although I feel sure I probably didn't and glad to see you are enjoying life despite it.
I'll leave it at that

[YogaBunny]

Fair play bryan. An honest from the heart post.
Some posts just need to be taken for what they are. No agenda. No judgement. No reason. Its just because you want to tell somebody that, finally, you're ok and at peace with yourself. Nothing smug about that. I wish you all the happiness.

Edited by YogaBunny on Friday 28th November 20:15

[226bhp]

Landlord said:

blindswelledrat said:

I love the fact that you are worried that what you have written will make others envious thus assume you are being smug.
In reality it came across as quite a sad maudlin rant. 3 blokes who have lived their lives in denial until it's too late in the erectile sense, to make use of their newfound freedom.
Verdict: Tri-benders

Wow - you've aimed that at a widower... you've managed to out-dhead yourself. Something I wouldn't have thought was possible.

He always acts like a are you not used to it? I don't even bother to read his posts and can't understand why you would want to lower yourself and waste your time replying. Detritus normally drifts away when it has nothing to anchor it.

[Big Pants]

Interesting thread. Good on you, Bryan. I understand where you were coming from, and if you've been on PH for a decade then you'll be breaking out the popcorn, enjoying the banter, and remembering this IS the internet.

With 50 thundering towards me at an alarming rate, huge mortgage and expensively-growing children I'm probably more like some of the "husbands in the village". Sadly for me. But it's good to know that there's life in the old dog yet when we don't have to go to work any more. And frankly, I can't wait for that day. Keep your pecker up chap. Glad to know you don't need any help there, although ewww, TMI.

Oh, and for what it's worth, Blindswellrat is one of those posters who always makes me laugh. Insensitive, possibly yes. Close to the bone? Pretty much always, that's why I know that when I've chuckled at a reply in the past I've seen his name on more than a few occasions. No offence was meant, or, it seems, taken. That's the cool thing about being grown up.

[Ayahuasca]

I blame all the oestrogen in the drinking water.

[singlecoil]

Big Pants said:

Oh, and for what it's worth, Blindswellrat is one of those posters who always makes me laugh. Insensitive, possibly yes. Close to the bone? Pretty much always, that's why I know that when I've chuckled at a reply in the past I've seen his name on more than a few occasions. No offence was meant, or, it seems, taken. That's the cool thing about being grown up.

I wouldn't be too sure about the no offence meant part of that...

[Cotty]

blindswelledrat said:

Anyway op, I'm sorry if I upset you, although I feel sure I probably didn't and glad to see you are enjoying life despite it.
I'll leave it at that

Perhaps if you didn't go out of your way to post things that might upset people you would not need to apologise. The constant put downs makes me think there is something fundamentally missing from your life, so you need to put down other people to make you feel better about yourself.

I don't wish to be unkind but perhaps you need to address some issues you have, before you start attacking people from behind a keyboard.

[Ayahuasca]

Cotty said:

blindswelledrat said:

Anyway op, I'm sorry if I upset you, although I feel sure I probably didn't and glad to see you are enjoying life despite it.
I'll leave it at that

Perhaps if you didn't go out of your way to post things that might upset people you would not need to apologise. The constant put downs makes me think there is something fundamentally missing from your life, so you need to put down other people to make you feel better about yourself.

I don't wish to be unkind but perhaps you need to address some issues you have, before you start attacking people from behind a keyboard.

The irony is strong in that post.

You seem to have done more of this attacking from behind a keyboard business than BSR.

[singlecoil]

Ayahuasca said:

Cotty said:

blindswelledrat said:

Anyway op, I'm sorry if I upset you, although I feel sure I probably didn't and glad to see you are enjoying life despite it.
I'll leave it at that

Perhaps if you didn't go out of your way to post things that might upset people you would not need to apologise. The constant put downs makes me think there is something fundamentally missing from your life, so you need to put down other people to make you feel better about yourself.

I don't wish to be unkind but perhaps you need to address some issues you have, before you start attacking people from behind a keyboard.

The irony is strong in that post.

You seem to have done more of this attacking from behind a keyboard business than BSR.

I'd not noticed him doing that, but if there is something you want to draw our attention to, please do.

[Ayahuasca]

singlecoil said:

Ayahuasca said:

Cotty said:

blindswelledrat said:

Anyway op, I'm sorry if I upset you, although I feel sure I probably didn't and glad to see you are enjoying life despite it.
I'll leave it at that

Perhaps if you didn't go out of your way to post things that might upset people you would not need to apologise. The constant put downs makes me think there is something fundamentally missing from your life, so you need to put down other people to make you feel better about yourself.

I don't wish to be unkind but perhaps you need to address some issues you have, before you start attacking people from behind a keyboard.

The irony is strong in that post.

You seem to have done more of this attacking from behind a keyboard business than BSR.

I'd not noticed him doing that, but if there is something you want to draw our attention to, please do.

I meant on this thread, I don't know about anywhere else.

[Cotty]

Ayahuasca said:

I meant on this thread, I don't know about anywhere else.

Care to provide some evidence?

[Mobile Chicane]

Big Pants said:

Oh, and for what it's worth, Blindswellrat is one of those posters who always makes me laugh. Insensitive, possibly yes. Close to the bone? Pretty much always, that's why I know that when I've chuckled at a reply in the past I've seen his name on more than a few occasions. No offence was meant, or, it seems, taken. That's the cool thing about being grown up.

I'd agree with that. One could be forgiven for thinking that some people spend their entire day trawling PH to find something to be pissed off about.

[Disastrous]

What's this faux-moral outrage everyone's doing here now??

BSR made a gay joke and now some of you are crying like children. Honestly, Cotty complains about his posting style yet stormed off the 'vaping' thread in a tantrum because people wouldn't discuss what he wanted.

Absurd over reaction and hypocrisy here.

Also, the OP sounded well gay! Glad he's getting on with things though.

[Cotty]

Disastrous said:

BSR made a gay joke and now some of you are crying like children. Honestly, Cotty complains about his posting style yet stormed off the 'vaping' thread in a tantrum because people wouldn't discuss what he wanted.

Absurd over reaction and hypocrisy here.

I have not "stormed off the 'vaping' thread" I post on it regularly. People were purposely trying to wind me up, it worked and they got the reaction they wanted. I have ignored them am carried on. I try not to waste my time on people who do not matter.

[BryanC]

I can assure you nobody is going near the chocolate chimney whatever you thought about the OP. I don't suppose I should really care about what some of you guys think constitutes gayness cos it doesn't measure up to what I think it is, and I'm old school, so not as tolerant as modern thinking prescribes.
Anyhow, while the girls argue, in 10 minutes I'm jumping in the Caterham, going for blat and will no doubt end up having a brew before a sandwich and planning where I'm off to tonight..
Cinema in town, Classic rock at the pub down the road, Johnny Vegas at the local comedy club, a party or just a quiet night at the local.
Yes Life has turned out good.
B.

[Disastrous]

Cotty said:

Disastrous said:

BSR made a gay joke and now some of you are crying like children. Honestly, Cotty complains about his posting style yet stormed off the 'vaping' thread in a tantrum because people wouldn't discuss what he wanted.

Absurd over reaction and hypocrisy here.

I have not "stormed off the 'vaping' thread" I post on it regularly. People were purposely trying to wind me up, it worked and they got the reaction they wanted. I have ignored them am carried on. I try not to waste my time on people who do not matter.

Rubbish. People didn't post what you wanted and you flounced off. You came back of course, but if I could be bothered searching, I could easily find the "don't know why I bother, it's not worth it wah wah wah" posts.

I highlight this not to get at you especially, but just this absurd over-offendedness that seems to afflict people on here. The OP seems to have taken the humour in the spirit intended and yet some are pretending they're in some gentleman's club and giving it "bad form chap, low blow old boy" and it's ridiculous.

[NailedOn]

BryanC said:

I can assure you nobody is going near the chocolate chimney whatever you thought about the OP. I don't suppose I should really care about what some of you guys think constitutes gayness cos it doesn't measure up to what I think it is, and I'm old school, so not as tolerant as modern thinking prescribes.
Anyhow, while the girls argue, in 10 minutes I'm jumping in the Caterham, going for blat and will no doubt end up having a brew before a sandwich and planning where I'm off to tonight..
Cinema in town, Classic rock at the pub down the road, Johnny Vegas at the local comedy club, a party or just a quiet night at the local.
Yes Life has turned out good.
B.

Good post BC.
The fact that the some posters 'skim' read, miss the point and try to insinuate your sexuality, says everything about them.
Thanks for your sensible and open contributions.

[Mobile Chicane]

NailedOn said:

BryanC said:

I can assure you nobody is going near the chocolate chimney whatever you thought about the OP. I don't suppose I should really care about what some of you guys think constitutes gayness cos it doesn't measure up to what I think it is, and I'm old school, so not as tolerant as modern thinking prescribes.
Anyhow, while the girls argue, in 10 minutes I'm jumping in the Caterham, going for blat and will no doubt end up having a brew before a sandwich and planning where I'm off to tonight..
Cinema in town, Classic rock at the pub down the road, Johnny Vegas at the local comedy club, a party or just a quiet night at the local.
Yes Life has turned out good.
B.

Good post BC.
The fact that the some posters 'skim' read, miss the point and try to insinuate your sexuality, says everything about them.
Thanks for your sensible and open contributions.

"Baldrick, have you ever heard of irony?"

"Yeh, it's like goldy and bronzy, only it's made out of iron."