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CountZero23 said:
DottyMR2 said:
Is there a storage place nearby her stuff could be put into to save it being there/seeing it? Might make it a bit easier and cleaner break now that she is out. Could avoid the awkward pick her stuff up day too.
She's a skint mature student and will have enough issues getting the cash together for a new place let alone storage and getting it there. Still coming over to do washing and get some space away from the girl who's sofa she's crashing on while I'm at work. Told her this was cool, no need to make things harder on the girl. Should be over by christmas... DottyMR2 said:
No rush for things, possibly some people's and my own problems, trying to plug a hole rather than dealing with things. A bit of flirting is always a wee boost though.
Totally with you on plugging the hole, everything just feels empty without her. Planning on taking some time out, just hit the gym and avoid going out for a bit until I'm back on form (we'll forget my drunken indiscretion after being dumped 
). DottyMR2 said:
No it's not great for my self esteem, although I don't too bad wih that really, better than when I was younger though! I see your point, probably been a bit of the problem. Tried to be supportive and it went too far and just became a crutch.
I did seriously think I would spend 40+ years with her while we were together. What has happened though after the breakup and seeing another side to her I suppose put things in perspective. Touches on my point above about plugging a hole. It's actually pretty twisted to tell me that all those guys were just an attempt to replace me. Has kind of made me see the games played.
Chalk it up to life experience and try to forget about it. It's not going to turn me into some bitter b
d though! Feels a bit of a waste but I suppose you just have to take chances on these things.
Taking time to adjust is good, enjoy some of the free time you have before filling it with someone else!
I tried getting back with a girl once who had slept with a guy to make me jealous; found it impossible to get the thought out of my head and things went south again pretty fast after that. So are things properly over with her now or are you still going to see her?I did seriously think I would spend 40+ years with her while we were together. What has happened though after the breakup and seeing another side to her I suppose put things in perspective. Touches on my point above about plugging a hole. It's actually pretty twisted to tell me that all those guys were just an attempt to replace me. Has kind of made me see the games played.
Chalk it up to life experience and try to forget about it. It's not going to turn me into some bitter b
d though! Feels a bit of a waste but I suppose you just have to take chances on these things.Taking time to adjust is good, enjoy some of the free time you have before filling it with someone else!
DottyMR2 said:
Taking time to adjust is good, enjoy some of the free time you have before filling it with someone else!
Bloody right; bought some weed for the first time in ages and going to watch all the gangster / sci-fi movies she refused to watch!
Sound like a catch.
Seriously drop the weeds and fags and you will feel better instantly.
I;m going to join in as well. Married for 13 years and best mates for 8 years before that. We always got on like, well, best friends! She had two daughters when we got together, eldest was 4 and an absolute little cow who had made her Mothers (my wifes) life hell through being taught bad attitude and nasty things to say to her Mum by her husband, hence the split. I knew her ex husband (not well, but enough) to be a complete arse....
Her other daughter was 2, slightly autistic,and a delight.
That's the way it stayed, me and my wife getting on like a house on fire, youngest being hard work but unfaillingly pleasant and the eldest just being a moody, mardy little cow with tantrums and 'panic attacks' and so on.
The only thing my wife and I EVER argued about was.... you guessed it, her eldest daughter. I wanted my wife to stop pandering to her all the time and treat her like she treated her youngest and my son (who also lived with us) as we all agreed, she was a fantastic parent - even my son said that she was the best parent he had!
Anyway, by the time she was 16 she was a nightmare and I'm ashamed to admit I started biting back and being a bit childish myself. Long story short(er) the eldest daughter gave her Mum an ultimatum - him or me...
So here I am in my stty little flat a year and 6 months later and just coming up to my second Christmas alone. I've made new friends 'cos you really find who your true friends are, and had quite a few opportunities to go out with other women, but I just can't. I have no desire whatsoever to get involved with anyone else and don't really want anyone getting to close - male or female.
I cannot stop loving my wife.
I can't even think badly of her.
We have no contact at all, don't even know where she lives other than it's somewhere local, and while I don't cry myself to sleep every night, it's a close run thing!
I had the perfect relationship and it ain't never coming back. I have no idea how to move on, I have no desire to either. I accept that I'm alone now for the rest of my life and that doesn't particularly bother me as I like being alone with my dogs, but I just feel so sad, defeated, lost and ready to just gve in. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I'm too apathetic to commit suicide! Everything is a real struggle from getting up to having a shower to eating...
Her other daughter was 2, slightly autistic,and a delight.
That's the way it stayed, me and my wife getting on like a house on fire, youngest being hard work but unfaillingly pleasant and the eldest just being a moody, mardy little cow with tantrums and 'panic attacks' and so on.
The only thing my wife and I EVER argued about was.... you guessed it, her eldest daughter. I wanted my wife to stop pandering to her all the time and treat her like she treated her youngest and my son (who also lived with us) as we all agreed, she was a fantastic parent - even my son said that she was the best parent he had!
Anyway, by the time she was 16 she was a nightmare and I'm ashamed to admit I started biting back and being a bit childish myself. Long story short(er) the eldest daughter gave her Mum an ultimatum - him or me...
So here I am in my s
tty little flat a year and 6 months later and just coming up to my second Christmas alone. I've made new friends 'cos you really find who your true friends are, and had quite a few opportunities to go out with other women, but I just can't. I have no desire whatsoever to get involved with anyone else and don't really want anyone getting to close - male or female.I cannot stop loving my wife.
I can't even think badly of her.
We have no contact at all, don't even know where she lives other than it's somewhere local, and while I don't cry myself to sleep every night, it's a close run thing!
I had the perfect relationship and it ain't never coming back. I have no idea how to move on, I have no desire to either. I accept that I'm alone now for the rest of my life and that doesn't particularly bother me as I like being alone with my dogs, but I just feel so sad, defeated, lost and ready to just gve in. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I'm too apathetic to commit suicide!
Everything is a real struggle from getting up to having a shower to eating...CountZero23 said:
Maybe #1 would be a better option if you're looking for a dining companion?
Having chat with the 22 year old I was seeing before my ex, she's over in Ireland now but seems up for paying me a visit.
To be fair if the age gap wasn't so daft she might be a serious contender.
Having chat with the 22 year old I was seeing before my ex, she's over in Ireland now but seems up for paying me a visit.
To be fair if the age gap wasn't so daft she might be a serious contender.
- 2 - yawn, no wonder you lot are single!
- 1 - less time in the kitchen more time in the bedroom.
Xtriple129 said:
I;m going to join in as well. Married for 13 years and best mates for 8 years before that. We always got on like, well, best friends! She had two daughters when we got together, eldest was 4 and an absolute little cow who had made her Mothers (my wifes) life hell through being taught bad attitude and nasty things to say to her Mum by her husband, hence the split. I knew her ex husband (not well, but enough) to be a complete arse....
Her other daughter was 2, slightly autistic,and a delight.
That's the way it stayed, me and my wife getting on like a house on fire, youngest being hard work but unfaillingly pleasant and the eldest just being a moody, mardy little cow with tantrums and 'panic attacks' and so on.
The only thing my wife and I EVER argued about was.... you guessed it, her eldest daughter. I wanted my wife to stop pandering to her all the time and treat her like she treated her youngest and my son (who also lived with us) as we all agreed, she was a fantastic parent - even my son said that she was the best parent he had!
Anyway, by the time she was 16 she was a nightmare and I'm ashamed to admit I started biting back and being a bit childish myself. Long story short(er) the eldest daughter gave her Mum an ultimatum - him or me...
So here I am in my stty little flat a year and 6 months later and just coming up to my second Christmas alone. I've made new friends 'cos you really find who your true friends are, and had quite a few opportunities to go out with other women, but I just can't. I have no desire whatsoever to get involved with anyone else and don't really want anyone getting to close - male or female.
I cannot stop loving my wife.
I can't even think badly of her.
We have no contact at all, don't even know where she lives other than it's somewhere local, and while I don't cry myself to sleep every night, it's a close run thing!
I had the perfect relationship and it ain't never coming back. I have no idea how to move on, I have no desire to either. I accept that I'm alone now for the rest of my life and that doesn't particularly bother me as I like being alone with my dogs, but I just feel so sad, defeated, lost and ready to just gve in. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I'm too apathetic to commit suicide! Everything is a real struggle from getting up to having a shower to eating...
You and I have very similar stories. No real need for all the grisly details. There's local living and only joint business contact. And there are two 'children' (both 30+) from her previous marriage. Her other daughter was 2, slightly autistic,and a delight.
That's the way it stayed, me and my wife getting on like a house on fire, youngest being hard work but unfaillingly pleasant and the eldest just being a moody, mardy little cow with tantrums and 'panic attacks' and so on.
The only thing my wife and I EVER argued about was.... you guessed it, her eldest daughter. I wanted my wife to stop pandering to her all the time and treat her like she treated her youngest and my son (who also lived with us) as we all agreed, she was a fantastic parent - even my son said that she was the best parent he had!
Anyway, by the time she was 16 she was a nightmare and I'm ashamed to admit I started biting back and being a bit childish myself. Long story short(er) the eldest daughter gave her Mum an ultimatum - him or me...
So here I am in my s
tty little flat a year and 6 months later and just coming up to my second Christmas alone. I've made new friends 'cos you really find who your true friends are, and had quite a few opportunities to go out with other women, but I just can't. I have no desire whatsoever to get involved with anyone else and don't really want anyone getting to close - male or female.I cannot stop loving my wife.
I can't even think badly of her.
We have no contact at all, don't even know where she lives other than it's somewhere local, and while I don't cry myself to sleep every night, it's a close run thing!
I had the perfect relationship and it ain't never coming back. I have no idea how to move on, I have no desire to either. I accept that I'm alone now for the rest of my life and that doesn't particularly bother me as I like being alone with my dogs, but I just feel so sad, defeated, lost and ready to just gve in. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I'm too apathetic to commit suicide!
Everything is a real struggle from getting up to having a shower to eating...No more love - that was killed stone dead over three years ago. My main feeling is massive disappointment. I committed to her big style and my commitment was abused. I'm looking forward the Christmas without the grief though. Living a lie for any length of time is too emotionally costly for me.
Compliments of the season, chum.
Gretchen said:
CountZero23 said:
Maybe #1 would be a better option if you're looking for a dining companion?
Having chat with the 22 year old I was seeing before my ex, she's over in Ireland now but seems up for paying me a visit.
To be fair if the age gap wasn't so daft she might be a serious contender.
Having chat with the 22 year old I was seeing before my ex, she's over in Ireland now but seems up for paying me a visit.
To be fair if the age gap wasn't so daft she might be a serious contender.
- 2 - yawn, no wonder you lot are single!
- 1 - less time in the kitchen more time in the bedroom.
Guys, hearing your stories is bloody awfull. Really do wish you both the best this christmas.
Honestly there are other girls out there that will put a smile on your face, though it's bloody tough after having gone through the mill.
That said you both sound like decent, smart guys. Is it fair to deprive all the single ladies who are looking for some one just like you of your company?
CountZero23 said:
Certainly legal though I'd feel bad about lumbering her with a 33 year old when she should be getting out there and having fun. It's what yer twenties are for!
Guys, hearing your stories is bloody awfull. Really do wish you both the best this christmas.
Honestly there are other girls out there that will put a smile on your face, though it's bloody tough after having gone through the mill.
That said you both sound like decent, smart guys. Is it fair to deprive all the single ladies who are looking for some one just like you of your company?
Well thanks! I appreciate the sentiment and I'm sure my fellow rejectee(s) feel the same.Guys, hearing your stories is bloody awfull. Really do wish you both the best this christmas.
Honestly there are other girls out there that will put a smile on your face, though it's bloody tough after having gone through the mill.
That said you both sound like decent, smart guys. Is it fair to deprive all the single ladies who are looking for some one just like you of your company?
Someone else asked me if I plan to start dating. Perhaps surprisingly given what's happened, I enjoy the company of women. However, I still have to get past the once-bitten-twice-shy effect. I'm not turning ghey but I don't think letting a woman get too close is likely, for a while at least.
Paradoxically, I'm kind of in touch with a woman from my past. We were a couple for two years in the mid-70s. Like a total eejit, I dumped her for wife 1, who played away...and I've told you about wife 2. My old flame is married, with adult family. Didn't stop us meeting up for a catch-up (after 39 years!). Moreover, I'm no home wrecker, and she's too level - headed to make a silly mistake.
Best of, to all with issues. 'Tis Christmas, after all.
snood said:
Well thanks! I appreciate the sentiment and I'm sure my fellow rejectee(s) feel the same.
Someone else asked me if I plan to start dating. Perhaps surprisingly given what's happened, I enjoy the company of women. However, I still have to get past the once-bitten-twice-shy effect. I'm not turning ghey but I don't think letting a woman get too close is likely, for a while at least.
Paradoxically, I'm kind of in touch with a woman from my past. We were a couple for two years in the mid-70s. Like a total eejit, I dumped her for wife 1, who played away...and I've told you about wife 2. My old flame is married, with adult family. Didn't stop us meeting up for a catch-up (after 39 years!). Moreover, I'm no home wrecker, and she's too level - headed to make a silly mistake.
Best of, to all with issues. 'Tis Christmas, after all.
Alway's good meeting up with decent girls to remind you they are out there - even if you did dump them Someone else asked me if I plan to start dating. Perhaps surprisingly given what's happened, I enjoy the company of women. However, I still have to get past the once-bitten-twice-shy effect. I'm not turning ghey but I don't think letting a woman get too close is likely, for a while at least.
Paradoxically, I'm kind of in touch with a woman from my past. We were a couple for two years in the mid-70s. Like a total eejit, I dumped her for wife 1, who played away...and I've told you about wife 2. My old flame is married, with adult family. Didn't stop us meeting up for a catch-up (after 39 years!). Moreover, I'm no home wrecker, and she's too level - headed to make a silly mistake.
Best of, to all with issues. 'Tis Christmas, after all.
Made that mistake myself with a lovelly girl, swapped her for an absolute nutter. Would probably be happily married and settled if I'd stuck with her. Still you don't get through life without making a few epic cock-ups.
Had the ex over to drop off the car which I lent her to go and visit her dad, all the thanks I got was a tirade of how crap her life is and drama over money, friends, family, job etc...
I really am being a numpty by being so 'nice' (pushover).
Still got a lovelly girl coming over tonight who I met on the weekend, smart, level headed, same sense of humour and as much of a wino as me so can't feel too bad.
Does feel a bit odd hanging out so soon after splitting, hope this doesn't end in some rebound fireball!
Right now I've just got to find a way of hiding the fact I've still got all my ex's stuff here as she's still sofa surfing and cocking her life up as per...
Likewise - happpy Christmas to you and everyone else who are still getting over someone.
Edited by CountZero23 on Tuesday 23 December 16:55
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