The recently single thread
Discussion
el romeral said:
I became single earlier this year after 20 years of marriage. As part of my wife's exit strategy, she farmed out our two teenage daughters by convincing one to study in Norway and by funding a flat for the other with her boyfriend. In the space of a few months we went from a family of four to just me in the house. Have to say I am not embracing this new single life at all. It seems everyone else is part of a couple.
Can't even get motivated to rejoin the gym. Bought a Boxster two weeks ago, in true mid life crisis mode. Not particularly interested in anyone else just want back what we had even though it will never happen. Can't live like this forever so hopefully there will be someone else, like everyone tells me. The scary thing is, not everyone does find someone?
Sorry if a bit negative.
PofCan't even get motivated to rejoin the gym. Bought a Boxster two weeks ago, in true mid life crisis mode. Not particularly interested in anyone else just want back what we had even though it will never happen. Can't live like this forever so hopefully there will be someone else, like everyone tells me. The scary thing is, not everyone does find someone?
Sorry if a bit negative.
el romeral said:
I became single earlier this year after 20 years of marriage. As part of my wife's exit strategy, she farmed out our two teenage daughters by convincing one to study in Norway and by funding a flat for the other with her boyfriend. In the space of a few months we went from a family of four to just me in the house. Have to say I am not embracing this new single life at all. It seems everyone else is part of a couple.
Can't even get motivated to rejoin the gym. Bought a Boxster two weeks ago, in true mid life crisis mode. Not particularly interested in anyone else just want back what we had even though it will never happen. Can't live like this forever so hopefully there will be someone else, like everyone tells me. The scary thing is, not everyone does find someone?
Sorry if a bit negative.
I was there about 4 years ago. Know exactly how you feel. The key, though, is to come to terms with the fact that happiness does not require you to have a wife. You don't NEED someone else to be happy, but you can opt to in future if you want to. Enjoy your free time, hobbies, beers with mates. Enjoy being on your own. Enjoy meeting new people. Enjoy dating (and shagging) without the need for commitment. You can also have a girlfriend with no need to move in together or get married - a bit of company when you want it, but no need to commit everything you have (and risk it in divorce). Your happiness is within your control, not reliant on someone else or what others might think of you.Can't even get motivated to rejoin the gym. Bought a Boxster two weeks ago, in true mid life crisis mode. Not particularly interested in anyone else just want back what we had even though it will never happen. Can't live like this forever so hopefully there will be someone else, like everyone tells me. The scary thing is, not everyone does find someone?
Sorry if a bit negative.
Edited by mikefacel on Saturday 6th December 23:27
gaz1234 said:
Pof
Sorry, nearly took your comment the wrong way! 
Then I realised it likely refers to that dating website, well I hope it does? Thanks for the tip, would not know how to start on there! Mind you that could be said for dating in general. It has been 21 years since I last did that!mikefacel said:
I was there about 4 years ago. Know exactly how you feel. The key, though, is to come to terms with the fact that happiness does not require you to have a wife. You don't NEED someone else to be happy, but you can opt to in future if you want to. Enjoy your free time, hobbies, beers with mates. Enjoy being on your own. Enjoy meeting new people. Enjoy dating (and shagging) without the need for commitment. You can also have a girlfriend with no need to move in together or get married - a bit of company when you want it, but no need to commit everything you have (and risk it in divorce). Your happiness is within your control, not reliant on someone else or what others might think of you.
Can't fathom out how to multi quote. Thank you for that, it helps. Very wise words indeed.Edited by mikefacel on Saturday 6th December 23:27
LordJammy said:
Being single is great. You can smoke tabs in the bath and walk around in your pants all day and not get told off for eating a whole advent calendar for breakfast. There's no crap TV, just 14 hour marathons of whatever you want to watch.
... and yet, deep down, I'd rather share that with someone! My most recent ex didn't mind me walking around in pants; she'd join in! But that's not exactly a foundation for a lasting relationship, just a bonus!Boy meets girl.
Boy likes girl.
Boy gives flowers to other girl.
Boy and other girl fail spectacularly.
Man goes, alone, into a wide world man isn't yet ready for. Makes mistakes, gets burnt.
Woman goes, not alone, into a wide world woman is ready for. Thrives and succeeds.
Man re-meets woman.
Man likes woman.
Man lacks confidence to talk to woman, after previous failure with other woman.
Man thinks, and over thinks, as time flows ever onward.
Woman meets other man, unknown to man.
Man finally builds up enough will to overcome man's worrying to ask woman out on date. Fluffs lines and has to stop mid sentence thrice...
Woman says no, as woman is with other man, but if it wasn't for that...
Man likes woman; woman likes man?
Story of the past ten years for myself... Why does it have to be so difficult...
Boy likes girl.
Boy gives flowers to other girl.
Boy and other girl fail spectacularly.
Man goes, alone, into a wide world man isn't yet ready for. Makes mistakes, gets burnt.
Woman goes, not alone, into a wide world woman is ready for. Thrives and succeeds.
Man re-meets woman.
Man likes woman.
Man lacks confidence to talk to woman, after previous failure with other woman.
Man thinks, and over thinks, as time flows ever onward.
Woman meets other man, unknown to man.
Man finally builds up enough will to overcome man's worrying to ask woman out on date. Fluffs lines and has to stop mid sentence thrice...
Woman says no, as woman is with other man, but if it wasn't for that...
Man likes woman; woman likes man?
Story of the past ten years for myself... Why does it have to be so difficult...
Edited by CBR JGWRR on Sunday 7th December 14:21
CBR JGWRR said:
Boy meets girl.
Boy likes girl.
Boy gives flowers to other girl.
Boy and other girl fail spectacularly.
Man goes, alone, into a wide world man isn't yet ready for. Makes mistakes, gets burnt.
Woman goes, not alone, into a wide world woman is ready for. Thrives and succeeds.
Man re-meets woman.
Man likes woman.
Man lacks confidence to talk to woman, after previous failure with other woman.
Man thinks, and over thinks, as time flows ever onward.
Woman meets other man, unknown to man.
Man finally builds up enough will to overcome man's worrying to ask woman out on date. Fluffs lines and has to stop mid sentence thrice...
Woman says no, as woman is with other man, but if it wasn't for that...
Man likes woman; woman likes man?
Story of the past ten years for myself... Why does it have to be so difficult...
Reminds me of one of my first crushes, took me a year to muster the courage ask her out. Told me she had given up waiting and had been dropping solid hints for ages and was now going out with some one (a total aBoy likes girl.
Boy gives flowers to other girl.
Boy and other girl fail spectacularly.
Man goes, alone, into a wide world man isn't yet ready for. Makes mistakes, gets burnt.
Woman goes, not alone, into a wide world woman is ready for. Thrives and succeeds.
Man re-meets woman.
Man likes woman.
Man lacks confidence to talk to woman, after previous failure with other woman.
Man thinks, and over thinks, as time flows ever onward.
Woman meets other man, unknown to man.
Man finally builds up enough will to overcome man's worrying to ask woman out on date. Fluffs lines and has to stop mid sentence thrice...
Woman says no, as woman is with other man, but if it wasn't for that...
Man likes woman; woman likes man?
Story of the past ten years for myself... Why does it have to be so difficult...
hole too). You've now got a fair bit more experience with the fairer sex and are less likely to make the same mistakes. If you want to get confident with girls - it's like anything else - practice!
Still could always end in a firey ball of the MENTAL and disaster but that's always the risk!
Edited by CountZero23 on Tuesday 9th December 12:41
CountZero23 said:
Reminds me of one of my first crushes, took me a year to muster the courage ask her out. Told me she had given up waiting and had been dropping solid hints for ages and was now going out with some one (a total ahole too).
You've not got a fair bit more experience with the fairer sex and are less likely to make the same mistakes. If you want to get confident with girls - it's like anything else - practice!
Still could always end in a firey ball of the MENTAL and disaster but that's always the risk!
Took 4 years for me. Trouble is, and it is so very cliché to say it, but she is literally like someone or something has made the perfect woman for me - I really don't want to mess this up... hole too). You've not got a fair bit more experience with the fairer sex and are less likely to make the same mistakes. If you want to get confident with girls - it's like anything else - practice!
Still could always end in a firey ball of the MENTAL and disaster but that's always the risk!
I must sound so childish.
CBR JGWRR said:
Took 4 years for me. Trouble is, and it is so very cliché to say it, but she is literally like someone or something has made the perfect woman for me - I really don't want to mess this up...
I must sound so childish.
No. you sound pretty normal to be fair. I must sound so childish.
When you've got real feelings it makes it a hell of allot harder. Thought I'd met 'the one' a couple of times (perfect woman for me and all that), has taken me a year or two to get over those in the past.
Thing is, another one always turns up and suddenly you realise that you had been wasting time worrying about the past.
Get out there, hit some bars, tinder, grab any single mates who are alright with women and try to move forwards.
Edited by CountZero23 on Tuesday 23 December 13:37
Broke up with my wife NYE 2008.
Still alone, still working whenever I can to pay all the bills, child maintenance, the mortgage etc while I waste my rainy day money an eye watering rent for a tiny one bedroom flat in order to be near the kids.
Life is pretty miserable, I'm in my 50s, everyone I know is part of a couple and Christmas just makes things worse. Just need to know that there are others like me, not all this 'I split but then met the woman of my dreams' malarkey.
Hang on! the title said Recently Single, so I am in the wrong thread.
Still alone, still working whenever I can to pay all the bills, child maintenance, the mortgage etc while I waste my rainy day money an eye watering rent for a tiny one bedroom flat in order to be near the kids.
Life is pretty miserable, I'm in my 50s, everyone I know is part of a couple and Christmas just makes things worse. Just need to know that there are others like me, not all this 'I split but then met the woman of my dreams' malarkey.
Hang on! the title said Recently Single, so I am in the wrong thread.
Wife went away for 4/5 weeks over the summer. Took the two boys as well. Before that I was in a hotel for work living away and travelling on Mondays & Fridays for 3 mths.
I thought it would be great, with lots of running and gym however found it completely boring.
Its ok when you are in the 20's however I found that people are generally more settled at home with wife and kids.
As Chris Rock once said, you have two choices in life:
1) Single and lonely or
2) Married and bored
OP if you are so busy getting laid with all your mates in gay bars how come you are on here?
I thought it would be great, with lots of running and gym however found it completely boring.
Its ok when you are in the 20's however I found that people are generally more settled at home with wife and kids.
As Chris Rock once said, you have two choices in life:
1) Single and lonely or
2) Married and bored
OP if you are so busy getting laid with all your mates in gay bars how come you are on here?
OP - Buy a van, find nice girl, shove her in van, have your way with her....
(verbal consent is required though, I should warn you)
I have recently become a single man. Spit up with my gf of over 4years, mutually as we realised neither of us were that bothered anymore, and we were just holding each other back in life. She's my first proper gf i've had. met her at 20, now 24.
I am young, good looking and a bloody good catch! so Its my time to have some fun and explore. I joined tinder last week and am now chatting to a number gorgeous girls, mostly studying at my local Uni aged 19-21
the future looks quite exciting 
(verbal consent is required though, I should warn you)
I have recently become a single man. Spit up with my gf of over 4years, mutually as we realised neither of us were that bothered anymore, and we were just holding each other back in life. She's my first proper gf i've had. met her at 20, now 24.
I am young, good looking and a bloody good catch! so Its my time to have some fun and explore. I joined tinder last week and am now chatting to a number gorgeous girls, mostly studying at my local Uni aged 19-21
the future looks quite exciting AndStilliRise said:
Wife went away for 4/5 weeks over the summer. Took the two boys as well. Before that I was in a hotel for work living away and travelling on Mondays & Fridays for 3 mths.
I thought it would be great, with lots of running and gym however found it completely boring.
Its ok when you are in the 20's however I found that people are generally more settled at home with wife and kids.
As Chris Rock once said, you have two choices in life:
1) Single and lonely or
2) Married and bored
OP if you are so busy getting laid with all your mates in gay bars how come you are on here?
The point is that if I was OK I wouldn't be stumbling around a gay bar on a school night. I thought it would be great, with lots of running and gym however found it completely boring.
Its ok when you are in the 20's however I found that people are generally more settled at home with wife and kids.
As Chris Rock once said, you have two choices in life:
1) Single and lonely or
2) Married and bored
OP if you are so busy getting laid with all your mates in gay bars how come you are on here?
You're right - it's fine when you're in your twenties and I had allot of fun. That said I'm 34 and thought I'd met a girl I could settle down with. Won't lie, had a much nicer time watching crap TV with her and going to nice country pubs than running around town chasing skirt.
Now I've only got two choices:
A) Give up and meditate on how unfair life is and how I'll be forever single.
B) Sort my s
t out, hit the gym, get some new clothes and go out and meet as many smart, pretty and nice girls as possible.Had a bloody awfull few weeks of it, starting to sleep a bit better now and getting more than the 2-4 hours I was last week.
n90acc said:
OP - Buy a van, find nice girl, shove her in van, have your way with her....
(verbal consent is required though, I should warn you)
I have recently become a single man. Spit up with my gf of over 4years, mutually as we realised neither of us were that bothered anymore, and we were just holding each other back in life. She's my first proper gf i've had. met her at 20, now 24.
I am young, good looking and a bloody good catch! so Its my time to have some fun and explore. I joined tinder last week and am now chatting to a number gorgeous girls, mostly studying at my local Uni aged 19-21 the future looks quite exciting
You drive a civic and probably live with your parents due to student debts, yeah great catch!(verbal consent is required though, I should warn you)
I have recently become a single man. Spit up with my gf of over 4years, mutually as we realised neither of us were that bothered anymore, and we were just holding each other back in life. She's my first proper gf i've had. met her at 20, now 24.
I am young, good looking and a bloody good catch! so Its my time to have some fun and explore. I joined tinder last week and am now chatting to a number gorgeous girls, mostly studying at my local Uni aged 19-21
the future looks quite exciting 
CountZero23 said:
CBR JGWRR said:
Took 4 years for me. Trouble is, and it is so very cliché to say it, but she is literally like someone or something has made the perfect woman for me - I really don't want to mess this up...
I must sound so childish.
No. you sound pretty normal to be fair. I must sound so childish.
When you've got real feelings it makes it a hell of allot harder. Thought I'd met 'the one' a couple of times (perfect woman for me and all that), has taken me a year or two to get over those in the past.
Thing is, another one always turns up and suddenly you realise that you had been wasting time worrying about the past.
Get out there, hit some bars, tinder, grab any single mates who are alright with women and try to move forwards. Maybe pick up a copy of 'The Game'
I know it really is the same old line blokes have uttered since the sun first shone upon the world, but she really is it, on any factor I can think of apart from ability in bed - pure assumption on my part given she's a Christian and a pastor's daughter, so probably valid - Ok, that is an important aspect, but it isn't like married men get much anyway, and I do want a marriage, I don't want to just be whacking it up some other whom I will forget in the morning, I want it to be meaningful...
Gagh.
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