Playful slaps with OH - Is it on?

[so called]

I read this thread to my Wife last night.
She offered to two revengeful returns;-
1. Rub a hot chili in the gusset of her knickers then accuse her of cheating when she starts complaining. (I'm going to put a lock on my boxer shorts draw).
2. unpick the hem of her favorite coat and then stitch it back up with a sardine inside.

Think I need to have a chat with my Wife.

[benters]

el stovey said:

I got bhslapped by a girl once. I'd split up with her about a week before, then a helpful friend told her I thought she'd put on loads of weight. I was sitting at the bar on a bar stool. she knocked me clean off it and I landed on the floor. Everyone laughed except me and my ex, she wasn't very happy.

Perhaps it's not exactly the same as the op's story.

cracking story, enjoyed that one

[J4CKO]

Do this,

We used to had a teacher who used to rap us on the forehead, Mr murray, not a bad bloke all things considering but the rap thing hurt, anyway, he used to do it pretty often for pretty much anything and one day he did it to "Bonehead" who was a likeable deviant, anyway, Bonehead wasn't that smart and in an uncharacteristically well planned act (normally was all purely reactive) he, on being rapped rolled his eyes back in his head and started shaking, then fell on the floor convulsing, his mate Colin goes "Aw sir, didn't you know Bonehead has a Brain Tumour", meanwhile Bonehead was doing a virtuoso performance, had us and Mr Murray completely fooled.

Anyway, Mr Murray looked very worries, 30 odd accusatory glances coming his way, didn't know what to do and meekly suggested someone get the school nurse, at this point Bonehead had decided to end the ruse and sat up and got back in his chair with a big daft grin, Mr Murray realised he had been taken in so the only reaction he could muster was another extra hard rap on the forehead for Bonehead !

So, next time your missus slaps you, you know what to do....

[Adenauer]

J4CKO said:

Do this,

We used to had a teacher who used to rap us on the forehead, Mr murray, not a bad bloke all things considering but the rap thing hurt, anyway, he used to do it pretty often for pretty much anything and one day he did it to "Bonehead" who was a likeable deviant, anyway, Bonehead wasn't that smart and in an uncharacteristically well planned act (normally was all purely reactive) he, on being rapped rolled his eyes back in his head and started shaking, then fell on the floor convulsing, his mate Colin goes "Aw sir, didn't you know Bonehead has a Brain Tumour", meanwhile Bonehead was doing a virtuoso performance, had us and Mr Murray completely fooled.

Anyway, Mr Murray looked very worries, 30 odd accusatory glances coming his way, didn't know what to do and meekly suggested someone get the school nurse, at this point Bonehead had decided to end the ruse and sat up and got back in his chair with a big daft grin, Mr Murray realised he had been taken in so the only reaction he could muster was another extra hard rap on the forehead for Bonehead !

So, next time your missus slaps you, you know what to do....

[Pixel Pusher]

J4CKO said:

So, next time your missus slaps you, you know what to do....

And pop an Alka Seltzer tablet in your mouth first for full seizure authenticity.

[Johnnytheboy]

Each time she slaps you, squeeze both her tits and make a sound effect like an old-fashioned car horn.

Eventually she'll stop, or you get to squeeze both her tits and make a sound effect like an old-fashioned car horn frequently.

[glasgowrob]

Is she a right dirty mare taking it up the wrong in etc? If so put up with it

If not next time she slaps you punch her square in the side of the news and add a swift kick the ribs on the way down




Op do not listen to any advice on ph

[mitzy]

The Vambo said:

mitzy said:

No woman should accept it and no man.

Bin her

Jesus, slow down there knee-jerk.

As a woman it's not a knee jerk :-)
Its more to do with having respect for yourself , life is too short to be with someone who takes the mick.
Seems like the OP was already having doubts about her anyway - hence why he posted on here.

[Don1]

I had a girlfriend slap me once - she was slapped back instantly. When she complained she was told that if she wanted to be an equal, she got treated as an equal. She was then dumped.

[blindswelledrat]

NateWM said:

I've now went off for a drive to calm down

You deserve a full strength slap for that sentence.

Back to your problem though, I would be equally annoyed. That is irritating beyond words.
Next time she slaps you with an effectionate little "you silly goose" you should laugh all demurely, punch her square in the nose and say "ooo, you daft little wood pigeon" as she bleeds onto the carpet that she'll have to clean.

[johnxjsc1985]

so called said:

I read this thread to my Wife last night.
She offered to two revengeful returns;-
1. Rub a hot chili in the gusset of her knickers then accuse her of cheating when she starts complaining. (I'm going to put a lock on my boxer shorts draw).
2. unpick the hem of her favorite coat and then stitch it back up with a sardine inside.

Think I need to have a chat with my Wife.

just be careful to not piss her off mate

[blindswelledrat]

mitzy said:

As a woman it's not a knee jerk :-)
Its more to do with having respect for yourself , life is too short to be with someone who takes the mick.
Seems like the OP was already having doubts about her anyway - hence why he posted on here.

Which thread are you reading? Have you got a boyfriend?
Op's bird has just developed an irritating habit, that's all.
Amazed he's posted it rather than just saying to her "Don't do that any more you wretched slut" which I am sure would stop it, but as for your advice- jesus.

[The Vambo]

blindswelledrat said:

mitzy said:

As a woman it's not a knee jerk :-)
Its more to do with having respect for yourself , life is too short to be with someone who takes the mick.
Seems like the OP was already having doubts about her anyway - hence why he posted on here.

Which thread are you reading? Have you got a boyfriend?
Op's bird has just developed an irritating habit, that's all.
Amazed he's posted it rather than just saying to her "Don't do that any more you wretched slut" which I am sure would stop it, but as for your advice- jesus.

As a man I agree.

[ukbabz]

I had an ex at uni who'd do the same thing, despite being told how much it pissed me off. She claimed she didn't realise she was doing it. I found a flicking the end of her nose each time she did it a pretty quick remedy..


Didn't tell her I got it from the episode of south park where cartman's mum gets a dog trainer to help her with his stty behaviour though ;-)

[DannyScene]

This thread is dragging on, kick her in the ovaries and be done with it

[HRL]

Don1 said:

I had a girlfriend slap me once - she was slapped back instantly. When she complained she was told that if she wanted to be an equal, she got treated as an equal. She was then dumped.

This. Aren't men and women equal any more then? If my missus slapped me around the chops I'd return the favour. Thankfully, being in a loving relationship she's never done so.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Don1 said:

I had a girlfriend slap me once - she was slapped back instantly. When she complained she was told that if she wanted to be an equal, she got treated as an equal. She was then dumped.

But women by and large aren't equal when it comes to force. They are usually physically smaller and weaker than men.

Also, I don't think equality requires someone to stoop to someone else's moronic level. If you were going to dump her anyway, why hit her too?

[soad]

It's Not On! At this rate, the OP will get hit with a frying pan next...

[Don1]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

But women by and large aren't equal when it comes to force. They are usually physically smaller and weaker than men.

Also, I don't think equality requires someone to stoop to someone else's moronic level. If you were going to dump her anyway, why hit her too?

I didn't say how hard I slapped her - if it was full force then I could have caused serious damage (naturally I'm a powerfully built company director etc). It wasn't full force - I can regulate power, strangely enough.

Who on earth said I was going to dump her before she attacked me?

Seriously, stop trying to embellish something you don't know anything about.

[blindswelledrat]

Don1 said:

I didn't say how hard I slapped her - if it was full force then I could have caused serious damage (naturally I'm a powerfully built company director etc). It wasn't full force - I can regulate power, strangely enough.

Who on earth said I was going to dump her before she attacked me?

Seriously, stop trying to embellish something you don't know anything about.

In his defence you definitely implied that you slapped and then dumped her. In fact you didn't imply it, you actually said it.