Ive hit rock bottom hold me guy's!
Discussion
A few weeks ago i lost the love of my life in a tragic accident, She was the only serious partner ive ever had we got together when i was 17 or 18 and im now 29. My entire world has fallen down around me ive never felt pain like this in my life, its changed my entire perspective on whats important in life, all the times i could have and should have treated her better all the arguments we had i wish i could go back and change it all but its too late, sure we had plenty of great times also but i can't stop thinking "what if". Words can not describe the pain im going through it makes every other obstacle ive ever encounter in life seems small and ridiculous i would not wish this feeling on my worst enemy even if they murdered my family i would not wish this on anybody i know that sounds crazy but words can honestly not describe this pain.
It feels like i have nothing to live for anymore, i was driving around in my brand new bmw company car ( which at one point made me feel like "i had made it" feeling like the loneliest person on the planet seeing a guy in a run down vauxhall corsa who at one point i would have ignorantly thought (wow i would hate to live a life having to drive one of these) in my rear view mirror talking to his partner with a smile on his face , going about everyday life seeing people smiling happy couples holding hands etc none of them with any clue or idea what i am going through my heart is broken and i feel like ive got to handle this all on my own.
Last week i handed in my notice, i don't care about working a job that in my heart i hate and dose not for fill me i don't care about having a brand new bmw anymore this has really shown me whats important in life. I can't even belive i came onto piston heads to pour my heart out but i have nobody else to talk to, i don't want to resort to going to the doctors and taking pills to cover the pain i refuse to start drinking and taking drugs my partner would never want to see me life that, I would love to hear from anybody who has hit rock bottom at some point in their life that can give me some advice on moving forward and dealing with the pain please never take your loved ones for granted guys ive learn't the hardest way imaginable.
It feels like i have nothing to live for anymore, i was driving around in my brand new bmw company car ( which at one point made me feel like "i had made it" feeling like the loneliest person on the planet seeing a guy in a run down vauxhall corsa who at one point i would have ignorantly thought (wow i would hate to live a life having to drive one of these) in my rear view mirror talking to his partner with a smile on his face , going about everyday life seeing people smiling happy couples holding hands etc none of them with any clue or idea what i am going through my heart is broken and i feel like ive got to handle this all on my own.
Last week i handed in my notice, i don't care about working a job that in my heart i hate and dose not for fill me i don't care about having a brand new bmw anymore this has really shown me whats important in life. I can't even belive i came onto piston heads to pour my heart out but i have nobody else to talk to, i don't want to resort to going to the doctors and taking pills to cover the pain i refuse to start drinking and taking drugs my partner would never want to see me life that, I would love to hear from anybody who has hit rock bottom at some point in their life that can give me some advice on moving forward and dealing with the pain please never take your loved ones for granted guys ive learn't the hardest way imaginable.
Firstly, there's no shame in having anti depressants to help you through the mess that you're in. They'll probably help you so I wouldn't turn them down if your doc thinks you need them (sounds like you probably do so it might be worth making a trip).
There's no easy way through it. It F
in sucks but you have to believe that one day you will go back to being happy and being the person you were.
Let yourself mourn and grieve, there's no point trying to hold back the feelings you're having. Accept them, let them in and realise you're only human.
I'm truly sorry buddy.
There's no easy way through it. It F
in sucks but you have to believe that one day you will go back to being happy and being the person you were.Let yourself mourn and grieve, there's no point trying to hold back the feelings you're having. Accept them, let them in and realise you're only human.
I'm truly sorry buddy.
What would your partner have wanted for you? How would she have wanted you to live your life?
You know these things in your own head already. You need, as others will say, to mourn and grieve for as long as it takes, and cry your eyes out every evening during that period if that's what it takes. and then, as the gloom begins to lift, bit by bit, set course for living life as she would have wished.
You are living my nightmare, and I can't begin or even pretend to understand how you feel. But others have felt how you are feeling now, and they've made their way though it. You'll be one of them.
You know these things in your own head already. You need, as others will say, to mourn and grieve for as long as it takes, and cry your eyes out every evening during that period if that's what it takes. and then, as the gloom begins to lift, bit by bit, set course for living life as she would have wished.
You are living my nightmare, and I can't begin or even pretend to understand how you feel. But others have felt how you are feeling now, and they've made their way though it. You'll be one of them.
You have everything to live for. Yes, you are going through a rough time, and this time of year is always going to be the hardest. Make sure you have friends and family around you at this time....
As said, there is no shame in asking for help, crying, screaming or anything else that will actually help you. Support groups do exactly that, and there are lines like The Samaritans ( http://www.samaritans.org/ 08457 909090), who will always be there and always ready to help.
Obviously we are here as well (he says offering the goodwill of strangers on a car forum, whose general answer to any question is 'MX-5'), so just stay in touch.
As said, there is no shame in asking for help, crying, screaming or anything else that will actually help you. Support groups do exactly that, and there are lines like The Samaritans ( http://www.samaritans.org/ 08457 909090), who will always be there and always ready to help.
Obviously we are here as well (he says offering the goodwill of strangers on a car forum, whose general answer to any question is 'MX-5'), so just stay in touch.
OP, I'd get some professional help if I were you, internet forums can be a great resource and a good place to let of steam but there are people out there who fix people like you for 8hrs a day every day, they know what they're doing.
Life can really take a big swinging kick in your balls at times, it's a real sthouse, what you gonna do about it?
Life can really take a big swinging kick in your balls at times, it's a real s
thouse, what you gonna do about it?First of all Well done for writing this out on here! Never keep stuff like this bottled up. Were a complete bunch of idiots most of the time and demand pictures of thrown cans of redbull and frozen sausages with much VBRJ thrown in for good measure.
When I lost my son and had thoughts similar to yours, there is honestly no better place to come and vent, within about an hour I had had 3 different people sending me emails who had experienced similar with good advice and offers of man hugs.
Do not be afraid of going to see the doc even if its just to talk, and not get a prescription for anti depressants.
There is never a good time for this to happen but near christmas is going to be alot harder. See your family, see her family and always talk to us no matter how dark it gets.
When I lost my son and had thoughts similar to yours, there is honestly no better place to come and vent, within about an hour I had had 3 different people sending me emails who had experienced similar with good advice and offers of man hugs.
Do not be afraid of going to see the doc even if its just to talk, and not get a prescription for anti depressants.
There is never a good time for this to happen but near christmas is going to be alot harder. See your family, see her family and always talk to us no matter how dark it gets.
OP sorry on your loss. A truly horrible time for you 
Time is a great healer, even if it seems impossible right now. I am glad you have opened up on here if you have no where else to do so, don't bottle it up and don't try and get through it on your own. Take prescribed drugs if you need to; you're going through hopefully the worst thing event in your life and everybody needs help sometimes.
Time is a great healer, even if it seems impossible right now. I am glad you have opened up on here if you have no where else to do so, don't bottle it up and don't try and get through it on your own. Take prescribed drugs if you need to; you're going through hopefully the worst thing event in your life and everybody needs help sometimes.
It must be awful for you, especially at this time of year too.
In time it really will get easier but, at the moment, you must hurt like hell.
It may help to vent your hurt even on here. Others do and everyone is pretty supportive.
It doesn't go away but it will hurt less as time goes on.
Take time to be yourself and maybe do some of the things that you have always dreamt of doing.
Try not to be alone too much and keep your mind occupied as much a possible.
Good luck - I really feel for you...
In time it really will get easier but, at the moment, you must hurt like hell.
It may help to vent your hurt even on here. Others do and everyone is pretty supportive.
It doesn't go away but it will hurt less as time goes on.
Take time to be yourself and maybe do some of the things that you have always dreamt of doing.
Try not to be alone too much and keep your mind occupied as much a possible.
Good luck - I really feel for you...
A few years ago I too hit rock bottom when my world fell apart. Time, exercise and the knowledge it couldn't get any worse got me through it.
What happened changed me but I'm sitting here now and life is pretty good again.
Don't be ashamed to visit the docs, anything to help is a god send.
What happened changed me but I'm sitting here now and life is pretty good again.
Don't be ashamed to visit the docs, anything to help is a god send.
TheBurgerKing said:
Joey Ramone said:
others have felt how you are feeling now, and they've made their way though it. You'll be one of them.
This is my biggest hope and inspiration right now. Thank you for the responses.Both of my girlfriends parents were previously widowed (car accident and cancer) and then got togeather and had her and her sister, they've been happily married for donkeys years and both really enjoy life. You wouldn't know it to look at them but they have both had to deal with what you have so you'll be ok
Really sorry to read this, there is a positive in your message that you're staying away from drink or illegal drugs, well done that man. Try to exercise, get a mountain bike and get out off the beaten track, just make sure number one priority is you look after yourself. Exercise, eat properly, sleep properly, and take each day as it comes. Genuinely wish you the best of luck.
I'm very sorry for your loss.Thank you for all the responses, i honestly don't know what to think i just know i can't let this brake me i can't let it ruin my life i can't let it turn me into somebody that ends up drinking for years and years to cover the pain. Ive been so tempted to start drinking and smoking again i feel like it would help but not in the long run. i am trying to stay positive but i know come Christmas im going to brake down she already has a present for me wrapped up it kills me i don't think i can ever open it. i just have to try and stay strong and let life take its course
)OP.
I am lucky. I have never been in your position and so can not help you with anything other than hope that you are able to come to terms with your loss and move on with your life doing the things that make you the happiest for the longest periods of time.
What I do know is that you are not the only person to have a loved one taken from them too soon in life and that those who I know who have been through this have come out stronger and, believe it or not, happier, people then they ever were before. Not happy due to their loss but because of what they have drawn from it and learnt about life and themselves. Almost as if it was one last, deeply personal, gift from the departed.
I am lucky. I have never been in your position and so can not help you with anything other than hope that you are able to come to terms with your loss and move on with your life doing the things that make you the happiest for the longest periods of time.
What I do know is that you are not the only person to have a loved one taken from them too soon in life and that those who I know who have been through this have come out stronger and, believe it or not, happier, people then they ever were before. Not happy due to their loss but because of what they have drawn from it and learnt about life and themselves. Almost as if it was one last, deeply personal, gift from the departed.
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