The single dads' thread

[mikefacel]

I've been thinking about starting this thread for a while (took me ages to decide where to put the apostrophe without getting into trouble!). I know, it's all getting a bit mumsnet around here and all that.

Still, seems there are a good few blokes on here who are single dads, either due to divorce, separation or the grim reaper. So this is a thread for having a rant, asking for advice, or hopefully having a laugh about bringing kids up, trying to keep a career going and the struggles of dating.

I'm a full time single dad with two kids and am having a st week so thought I might as well start the thread. We've all come down in my house with norovirus and it's one of those times, which seems to happen about 3 or 4 times a year, when I really, really miss not having a partner around. It's just been a nightmare. My son puked so much that there were vomit footprints around the house. So I've been stripping all the bedding and both the sofas as he had a sleepover in the lounge with his mates at the weekend when it hit, disinfecting the floors, and have done about 10 washes so far. I'm struggling to get all my work done this week as well as having the squits myself, my poor daughter has been in bed for 4 days with the same, and it just feels like I'm literally crawling towards Christmas. Roll on the end of the week!

Anyway, on the good side, and more PH-friendly, the last of the kids' Christmas presents arrived today. I've got them each (and myself), one of these (or their sister cars), and I'm really excited, planning on building a race track in the garden with marine rope (35kph on standard engines, 1/16 scale):



Christmas is a difficult time of year if you're a single dad or divorced/separated and not seeing the kids much, so guys feel free to post.

Edited by mikefacel on Wednesday 17th December 20:05

[TREMAiNE]

Nice to see this thread pop up!

I'm not a single dad. Not even a dad!

But I did live with my dad when my parents got divorced (and recently moved back in with him).

Enjoy seeing your kids at Christmas!

[mikefacel]

TREMAiNE said:

Nice to see this thread pop up!

I'm not a single dad. Not even a dad!

But I did live with my dad when my parents got divorced (and recently moved back in with him).

Enjoy seeing your kids at Christmas!

Thanks Tremaine - great to see you've got such a good relationship with your dad and that he was there when you needed him. Must be a decent bloke. You have a great Christmas too!

Edited by mikefacel on Wednesday 17th December 20:14

[sc0tt]

My dad left and stole all the old girls money. Revel in the fact you are their idol. Stay strong buddy.

[mikefacel]

sc0tt said:

My dad left and stole all the old girls money. Revel in the fact you are their idol. Stay strong buddy.

Sorry to hear that Scott, sounds terrible. Thanks for the kind words.

[aberdeenelvis]

Single dad here,

Got 2 boys @ 8 & 2, lost mum 1 year ago yesterday. First Xmas was a bit crazy and disorganised but this year it's a bit better. It will never be the same tho!!!!

It dose get easier but I am lucky as the kids took our loss in their stride (2 year old is to young to know at the moment) . If they were to have any issues with school ect it would make things so much harder.

[mikefacel]

aberdeenelvis said:

Single dad here,

Got 2 boys @ 8 & 2, lost mum 1 year ago yesterday. First Xmas was a bit crazy and disorganised but this year it's a bit better. It will never be the same tho!!!!

It dose get easier but I am lucky as the kids took our loss in their stride (2 year old is to young to know at the moment) . If they were to have any issues with school ect it would make things so much harder.

Doff my hat to you mate, sounds like you're doing an amazing job.

[Pit Pony]

I'm not a single Dad.

Wife is well and truly alive and living with me, and our kids, who are both grown up now.

Given that my kids call me "angry dad" in jest, I can't imagine having not had my wife to do all the nurturing and propaganda, and psychological conditioning, which seems to have turned them into nice people.

All I can say is good luck and have a great Christmas.

[aberdeenelvis]

mikefacel said:

aberdeenelvis said:

Single dad here,

Got 2 boys @ 8 & 2, lost mum 1 year ago yesterday. First Xmas was a bit crazy and disorganised but this year it's a bit better. It will never be the same tho!!!!

It dose get easier but I am lucky as the kids took our loss in their stride (2 year old is to young to know at the moment) . If they were to have any issues with school ect it would make things so much harder.

Doff my hat to you mate, sounds like you're doing an amazing job.

My 8 year old makes things so easy he is a joy to bring up. Looks after himself TBH doing my very best to bring the 2 year old up the same way. Unfortunately I worked away while my eldest was young. So very much in at the deep end with the youngest. I'm very lucky as at the moment money is not a big issue (still have to work, but not work away from home any more)

Apart from missing mum and all things that she took care off (which was a lot) we are getting into the swing of things. Soooooooooo much easier with 2 loving parents. But hey ho that's the hand we got and I have got to make the most of it for the boys.

[mikefacel]

Pit Pony said:

I'm not a single Dad.

Wife is well and truly alive and living with me, and our kids, who are both grown up now.

Given that my kids call me "angry dad" in jest, I can't imagine having not had my wife to do all the nurturing and propaganda, and psychological conditioning, which seems to have turned them into nice people.

All I can say is good luck and have a great Christmas.

Thanks mate. You all have a good one too.

[Pagey]

Single Uncle/Full Time parent here

I've been stand in dad to my 15 year old nephew for the last 12ish years, he used to split his time 50/50 between his mum and staying with me but has lived full time with me for the last 4 years.

Given the option of going to New York to spend Christmas with his mum he wants to stay here and spend it with me and the G/F

[eric twinge]

I'm happily married with kids, however my dad raised me and my brother on his own when my mum died when I was 10 and my brother 8.
It wasn't easy for him and hearing him sobbing on his own after we had gone to bed will stick with me forever. However on a happier note the three of us are incredibly close now and he knows he has done a good job with us.
We are all good mates.
So massive respect to all the single dads out there doing a difficult job all on their own, your kids do appreciate it and they won't forget it.
I never will.
Love you dear old dad

[mikefacel]

Thanks for your comments guys - heart-warming.

[pete a]

Not a single dad but do have three amazing children.

Sitting here half pissed with the wife and kids after a nice roast dinner and bottle of red watching TV I realise how lucky I am.

For those in a different situation I applaud you and wish you well.

Have a good Xmas and new year.

[Dr Murdoch]

pete a said:

Not a single dad but do have three amazing children.

Sitting here half pissed with the wife and kids after a nice roast dinner and bottle of red watching TV I realise how lucky I am.

For those in a different situation I applaud you and wish you well.

Have a good Xmas and new year.

So not a single dad then....

Do you not think saying how happy you are as a family might be a bit inappropriate in this thread? Honestly, face palm.

Ignoring the above, good thread and hope you and the kids have a great Christmas! Dads rule!

[mikefacel]

Dr Murdoch said:

So not a single dad then....

Do you not think saying how happy you are as a family might be a bit inappropriate in this thread? Honestly, face palm.

Ignoring the above, good thread and hope you and the kids have a great Christmas! Dads rule!

As the OP, I haven't got a problem with it at all. In fact, it's nice to hear he's happy but still appreciates others in different positions and that it could easily be different for him too. In fact, if this thread also helps dads with wives/partners appreciate what they've got and not take it forgranted, then that's great. Thanks for the good words on the topic, and you have a good Christmas too.

[sc0tt]

mikefacel said:

Sorry to hear that Scott, sounds terrible. Thanks for the kind words.

NP, Its properly st. 2 attempted suicides by my mother etc.

Just be a good dad!

[Tribal Chestnut]

It's st Mike, but you just have to get on with it, as you seem to be doing.

If you don't mind me asking, what happend to the kid's mum?