For those for whom this year is the first Christmas alone...
Discussion
It's is often said and written by the those who lose someone close that the first year is the hardest to endure.
It's often said by those who are going through it that they just wish that certain days and occasions could be slept through or in some way passed over.
I did my Xmas shopping this morning and thought about those coming to my house over Christmas and what they would like and what to cook and what to give them... you know, all the usual stuff that flits around the head with a million other thoughts when time is short and the 'do list' long.
But it wasn't so long ago that it was my first Christmas since my wife died and how I ached inside watching those living life whilst mine had for all intent purposes come to a dead stop.
So why this post?
Just to say to those who walk the same path of loss and those especially on PH who have this year lost the love of their lives and for whom this year is their 'first'; that now and in the days to come, that what you have and what you miss more than ever, is never lost to you.
I dreaded my first Christmas, it was an ordeal to be but endured and even though I had those I loved the dearest, closest to me, I felt utterly alone. But sometimes, it's the words of the stranger, the merest thought that someone, no matter how distant or disconnected, recognises our loss, is a salve to the ache of loss.
So from me as one, to you as one other, I wish you a day that is kinder to you than you dread and a raised glass if you would like, 'to those we shall always love and hold closest in our hearts'.
DMN
It's often said by those who are going through it that they just wish that certain days and occasions could be slept through or in some way passed over.
I did my Xmas shopping this morning and thought about those coming to my house over Christmas and what they would like and what to cook and what to give them... you know, all the usual stuff that flits around the head with a million other thoughts when time is short and the 'do list' long.
But it wasn't so long ago that it was my first Christmas since my wife died and how I ached inside watching those living life whilst mine had for all intent purposes come to a dead stop.
So why this post?
Just to say to those who walk the same path of loss and those especially on PH who have this year lost the love of their lives and for whom this year is their 'first'; that now and in the days to come, that what you have and what you miss more than ever, is never lost to you.
I dreaded my first Christmas, it was an ordeal to be but endured and even though I had those I loved the dearest, closest to me, I felt utterly alone. But sometimes, it's the words of the stranger, the merest thought that someone, no matter how distant or disconnected, recognises our loss, is a salve to the ache of loss.
So from me as one, to you as one other, I wish you a day that is kinder to you than you dread and a raised glass if you would like, 'to those we shall always love and hold closest in our hearts'.
DMN
Had my first one alone last year, thankfully nobody passed away but I separated from my wife of 20 years in the September leaving behind my four kids and two dogs. Luckily I worked until 9pm on the christmas eve so didn't have much thinking time but it was the first time in 40 years I woke up totally alone in a completely empty house on christmas morning. It was horrible. Still, did what any self respecting pistonheader would do, got up, roof off and went to take advantage of the empty roads. I was sat on a deserted Southport beach at 9am in the glorious but very very cold sunshine.
Had my first one alone last year, thankfully nobody passed away but I separated from my wife of 20 years in the September leaving behind my four kids and two dogs. Luckily I worked until 9pm on the christmas eve so didn't have much thinking time but it was the first time in 40 years I woke up totally alone in a completely empty house on christmas morning. It was horrible. Still, did what any self respecting pistonheader would do, got up, roof off and went to take advantage of the empty roads. I was sat on a deserted Southport beach at 9am in the glorious but very very cold sunshine.
This will be my second tough Christmas in a row, my dad passed away last year and my sister passed away in September. More tough for my mum than me and I will do my best to keep her mind of it but will have to make sure my nephews (boys 8 & 9) have a really good Christmas without their mum around.
drivin_me_nuts said:
It's is often said and written by the those who lose someone close that the first year is the hardest to endure.
It's often said by those who are going through it that they just wish that certain days and occasions could be slept through or in some way passed over.
I did my Xmas shopping this morning and thought about those coming to my house over Christmas and what they would like and what to cook and what to give them... you know, all the usual stuff that flits around the head with a million other thoughts when time is short and the 'do list' long.
But it wasn't so long ago that it was my first Christmas since my wife died and how I ached inside watching those living life whilst mine had for all intent purposes come to a dead stop.
So why this post?
Just to say to those who walk the same path of loss and those especially on PH who have this year lost the love of their lives and for whom this year is their 'first'; that now and in the days to come, that what you have and what you miss more than ever, is never lost to you.
I dreaded my first Christmas, it was an ordeal to be but endured and even though I had those I loved the dearest, closest to me, I felt utterly alone. But sometimes, it's the words of the stranger, the merest thought that someone, no matter how distant or disconnected, recognises our loss, is a salve to the ache of loss.
So from me as one, to you as one other, I wish you a day that is kinder to you than you dread and a raised glass if you would like, 'to those we shall always love and hold closest in our hearts'.
DMN
How's things R?It's often said by those who are going through it that they just wish that certain days and occasions could be slept through or in some way passed over.
I did my Xmas shopping this morning and thought about those coming to my house over Christmas and what they would like and what to cook and what to give them... you know, all the usual stuff that flits around the head with a million other thoughts when time is short and the 'do list' long.
But it wasn't so long ago that it was my first Christmas since my wife died and how I ached inside watching those living life whilst mine had for all intent purposes come to a dead stop.
So why this post?
Just to say to those who walk the same path of loss and those especially on PH who have this year lost the love of their lives and for whom this year is their 'first'; that now and in the days to come, that what you have and what you miss more than ever, is never lost to you.
I dreaded my first Christmas, it was an ordeal to be but endured and even though I had those I loved the dearest, closest to me, I felt utterly alone. But sometimes, it's the words of the stranger, the merest thought that someone, no matter how distant or disconnected, recognises our loss, is a salve to the ache of loss.
So from me as one, to you as one other, I wish you a day that is kinder to you than you dread and a raised glass if you would like, 'to those we shall always love and hold closest in our hearts'.
DMN
True words and hope they are helpful to anyone who finds themselves in situations similar to ours. Life does get better - I'm proof positive of that. I'll be spending some quiet time up at the church on Christmas Eve and a candle will be lit as I remember all of the times she made me laugh.... and shout at her.
B.J.W said:
How's things R?
True words and hope they are helpful to anyone who finds themselves in situations similar to ours. Life does get better - I'm proof positive of that. I'll be spending some quiet time up at the church on Christmas Eve and a candle will be lit as I remember all of the times she made me laugh.... and shout at her.
Thanks for asking. Things are good and I am for the most time... happy True words and hope they are helpful to anyone who finds themselves in situations similar to ours. Life does get better - I'm proof positive of that. I'll be spending some quiet time up at the church on Christmas Eve and a candle will be lit as I remember all of the times she made me laugh.... and shout at her.
And that is a word that not so long ago was one I could hardly imagine ever saying again
Anniversaries bring their moments and my hardest one is soon enough, but this year will be a lit candle and quiet reflection rather than a flood of tears.
To you to and your new lady, a toast 'to those we love now and those we will love forever'. Have a great Christmas. R
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