Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[theshrew]

Not the Mrs but a lady that attended the same speed awareness course as me today.

This lady had been caught by the same static camera twice in a month ( even though she knew the camera was there )
She now avoids that road so she doesn't get caught again !

[hairyben]

jbudgie said:

Easily done I would have thought--not really something you would want your other half to see as a put down.

Not a put down really it just made me laugh. more a spatial thing shes not stupid at all

[Usget]

Adam B said:

"I love what you are doing for the burkhas"

Edited by Adam B on Sunday 26th June 12:45

Edited by Usget on Monday 27th June 09:26

[Vipers]

Something came up on n TV about fish pie, she says "What do they put in fish pie".......

[Skyrat]

One from a mate's wife:

"Which came first, Jesus or the dinosaurs?"

There's a girl in work, who I lovingly refer to as The Professor. This is a girl who couldn't find France on a map of Europe. Some gems from her:

"Is the sea salty because of all the whale sperm in it?"

Discussing Tim Peake's trip to the ISS, shortly after the launch.

Her: "Sure, it'll probably take him a few days to get up there"
Me: "He'll be there by tonight, it's low earth orbit. It only took them about 4 days to get to the moon."
Her: "Tim Peake went to the moon?"
Me: Errr, no.
Her: (after a period of thought) "Can you use your mobile phone in space?"

Staying with the space theme, at the time of the solar eclipse in the UK recently she asked what caused the eclipse.

Guy: It's the moon passing between the earth and the sun.
Her: But they're the same thing.
Guy: What?
Her: The sun and the moon. The moon is just the sun at night.

Edited by Skyrat on Monday 27th June 00:28

[CanAm]

This was a few years ago, before Sky+, but we had two videos. I was going out for the evening and wanted to record something pretty important. I can't remember the actual programmes, but you get the drift:
MRS C: What are you doing?
ME: Setting the video for 9.30
MRS C: You can't, I'm recording Emmerdale.
ME: Use the other video then.
MRS C: I'm already using that for Eastenders.
ME: Well can't you watch that live?
MRS C: No, I'm watching Corrie!
ME: Well can't you watch the repeat that's on tomorrow then I can record my (once in a lifetime never going to be repeated very important) programme?

MRS C : I can't believe it. You are SO bloody selfish!

Edited by CanAm on Monday 27th June 09:46

[CoolC]

Not mine, but this popped up on my Facebook feed from a friend of a friend.

From Facebook said:

JO: Do you want that heater left on?
ME: What heater?
JO: The one above the cooker.
ME: That's an extractor.
JO: Oh, i though it was to keep food warm on the cooker top.

Joanna, stop talking. For the love of god STOP

[HarryFlatters]

Skyrat said:

One from a mate's wife:

"Which came first, Jesus or the dinosaurs?"

My wife, bless her...

[Cotty]

Vipers said:

Something came up on n TV about fish pie, she says "What do they put in fish pie".......

She might mean which fish, I always use three different fish in mine.

[RammyMP]

I showed the wife's neice this photo of what she calls an 'Albanian' Alligator:

[Vaud]

Cotty said:

She might mean which fish, I always use three different fish in mine.

Or indeed prawns for a bit of crustacean variety.

[Skyrat]

HarryFlatters said:

My wife, bless her...

Was too good not to share. Hope it's ok

[Ari]

CanAm said:

This was a few years ago, before Sky+, but we had two videos. I was going out for the evening and wanted to record something pretty important. I can't remember the actual programmes, but you get the drift:
MRS C: What are you doing?
ME: Setting the video for 9.30
MRS C: You can't, I'm recording Emmerdale.
ME: Use the other video then.
MRS C: I'm already using that for Eastenders.
ME: Well can't you watch that live?
MRS C: No, I'm watching Corrie!
ME: Well can't you watch the repeat that's on tomorrow then I can record my (once in a lifetime never going to be repeated very important) programme?

MRS C : I can't believe it. You are SO bloody selfish!

Edited by CanAm on Monday 27th June 09:46

She sounds... Super.

[Cemesis]

Skyrat said:

Guy: It's the moon passing between the earth and the sun.
Her: But they're the same thing.
Guy: What?
Her: The sun and the moon. The moon is just the sun at night.

You have to be making that up

[Impasse]

Cotty said:

Vipers said:

Something came up on n TV about fish pie, she says "What do they put in fish pie".......

She might mean which fish, I always use three different fish in mine.

Yep, it's a reasonable question. Especially if she finds your cottage pie a little crunchy.

[callmedave]

Cemesis said:

Skyrat said:

Guy: It's the moon passing between the earth and the sun.
Her: But they're the same thing.
Guy: What?
Her: The sun and the moon. The moon is just the sun at night.

You have to be making that up

Mine thought exactly the same.

[callmedave]

DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.

Now she understands when i pointed and told her that is the moon there, that is the sun there.

But i guess it is like her explaining to me the difference between hand cream and face cream - its the same thing!

[brrapp]

callmedave said:

But i guess it is like her explaining to me the difference between hand cream and face cream - its the same thing!

Isn't it the same thing?

[Vocal Minority]

Nope. Marketing man said you need both.

Must be true.

[Vaud]

Vocal Minority said:

Nope. Marketing man said you need both.

Must be true.

To be fair they are quite different, face cream is quite light. Hand cream more substantial. If you use hand cream on your face it will probably make it too oily. And face cream is a bit weak for you hands.

Some will do both quite well (e.g. E45) but not for all skin types.