Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Author
Discussion

john2443

6,325 posts

210 months

Sunday 19th March 2017
quotequote all
Hasbeen said:
john2443 said:
My wife of 22 years made me coffee yesterday and put sugar in it. I stopped taking sugar before I met her.
Bet her new boyfriend does.
biggrin

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Sunday 19th March 2017
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Not my wife, but when I was a teenager my mum said to me:-

"The trouble with you is your driving's too erotic"

Evangelion

7,642 posts

177 months

Sunday 19th March 2017
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Wacky Racer said:
Not my wife, but when I was a teenager my mum said to me:-

"The trouble with you is your driving's too erotic"
I once gave my mother a lift to the doctor, and as we were coming home I was trying to emerge from a busy junction. Seeing a gap that would just be big enough if I was really quick, I floored it and let the DSC sort it out.
Mother was silent for a few seconds, then turned to me and said, "It always makes me uncomfortable when you drive like your brother."

driverrob

4,687 posts

202 months

Tuesday 21st March 2017
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I did some sawing in the house at the weekend so I used the dustpan and brush from the kitchen cupboard and then wiped the area over.
Yesterday, I'm doing something and SWMBO stands there with aforesaid pan and bush:
Did you use this yesterday?
Yes ..[explained as above]
But it's all covered in dust now!
confused

Blown2CV

28,699 posts

202 months

Thursday 23rd March 2017
quotequote all
Hasbeen said:
john2443 said:
My wife of 22 years made me coffee yesterday and put sugar in it. I stopped taking sugar before I met her.
Bet her new boyfriend does.
yea sorry dude.


HTP99

22,445 posts

139 months

Thursday 23rd March 2017
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Hasbeen said:
john2443 said:
My wife of 22 years made me coffee yesterday and put sugar in it. I stopped taking sugar before I met her.
Bet her new boyfriend does.
yea sorry dude.

My wife still oaccasionally puts milk in my coffee, I have never had milk in my coffee ever, we've been together 25 years.

Vipers

32,799 posts

227 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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I mentioned to the OH a new guy at work had lost his right arm from just below the elbow to cancer.

She says "OMG has he got a hand".......

When I stopped laughing, she explained she meant a false one, year right.

Plastic chicken

380 posts

203 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
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Driving around today on a nice clear day I pointed out all the planes high in the sky and asked Mrs Chicken if she knew what the lines following the planes were called.

"Of course I do! They're the entrails!"

davhill

5,263 posts

183 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
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Plastic chicken said:
Driving around today on a nice clear day I pointed out all the planes high in the sky and asked Mrs Chicken if she knew what the lines following the planes were called.

"Of course I do! They're the entrails!"
laugh

Jonmx

2,536 posts

212 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
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My BiL died not too long ago, and my sister gave my father a few of his CD's that he'd earmarked for my dad to have once he'd gone. My sister said that 'there's some good CD's in there, oh, and a few by some bloke called B.B King.' On seeing my face she said that she'd never heard of him so he can't be that big a deal. Obviously 15 grammy's and a 60 year career that resulted in the nickname 'King of the Blues' isn't that big a deal...
My sister is someone who will get 85% of questions on University Challenge correct, has 2 degrees(not that that means too much these days)and crucially, as a teenager, spent every weekend going to gigs and lecturing the rest of the family about music of all varieties. She even lived in one of Rick Wakeman's houses for a while as she was friends with his daughter.
I now await some pedant to point out that they too have never heard of B.B King and therefore he is no big deal.

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
quotequote all
Jonmx said:
My BiL died not too long ago, and my sister gave my father a few of his CD's that he'd earmarked for my dad to have once he'd gone. My sister said that 'there's some good CD's in there, oh, and a few by some bloke called B.B King.' On seeing my face she said that she'd never heard of him so he can't be that big a deal. Obviously 15 grammy's and a 60 year career that resulted in the nickname 'King of the Blues' isn't that big a deal...
My sister is someone who will get 85% of questions on University Challenge correct, has 2 degrees(not that that means too much these days)and crucially, as a teenager, spent every weekend going to gigs and lecturing the rest of the family about music of all varieties. She even lived in one of Rick Wakeman's houses for a while as she was friends with his daughter.
I now await some pedant to point out that they too have never heard of B.B King and therefore he is no big deal.
I could cope with my wife not knowing who B.B. King was. But the day she starts putting apostrophes in plurals, then I'll know she's losing the plot.

Jonmx

2,536 posts

212 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Jonmx said:
My BiL died not too long ago, and my sister gave my father a few of his CD's that he'd earmarked for my dad to have once he'd gone. My sister said that 'there's some good CD's in there, oh, and a few by some bloke called B.B King.' On seeing my face she said that she'd never heard of him so he can't be that big a deal. Obviously 15 grammy's and a 60 year career that resulted in the nickname 'King of the Blues' isn't that big a deal...
My sister is someone who will get 85% of questions on University Challenge correct, has 2 degrees(not that that means too much these days)and crucially, as a teenager, spent every weekend going to gigs and lecturing the rest of the family about music of all varieties. She even lived in one of Rick Wakeman's houses for a while as she was friends with his daughter.
I now await some pedant to point out that they too have never heard of B.B King and therefore he is no big deal.
I could cope with my wife not knowing who B.B. King was. But the day she starts putting apostrophes in plurals, then I'll know she's losing the plot.
laughpaperbaggetmecoat
Yep, obviously I wasn't as awake as I thought this morning when I wrote that post! I even put a grammatically incorrect meme into another thread. I shall go and find a length of birch and administer a reminder to myself to check before posting!

bobtail4x4

3,701 posts

108 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
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She is ironing, tells me the iron has stopped, so she tried plugging it into an extension cable from the same ringmain,
I asked did you try just plugging it in without the extension?

but it wont reach the board then.............

it was a fuse on the plug, no amount of extensions was going to fix that.

RizzoTheRat

25,085 posts

191 months

Sunday 26th March 2017
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We got home this morning and she wanted something out of the garage, so wandered off with my keys as obviously she never takes her keys when we both go out. Some time later I ask where my keys are...she has no idea but apparently it's my fault as she must have given them to me as she wasn't wearing anything with pockets.

Eventually found in her coat pocket biggrin

Feirny

2,500 posts

146 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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Driving home on the motorway yesterday after visiting my mother and my car ticks over 84,000 miles.
So I say "look, 84k" whilst pointing at the mileage.

She looks and says "what, today!?"

northwest monkey

6,370 posts

188 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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Jonmx said:
I now await some pedant to point out that they too have never heard of B.B King and therefore he is no big deal.
You'll be looking for the Top Gear thread.

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

99 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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northwest monkey said:
Jonmx said:
I now await some pedant to point out that they too have never heard of B.B King and therefore he is no big deal.
You'll be looking for the Top Gear thread.
"so called "King of the Blues" whoever he is..."

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah

12,787 posts

99 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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Watching Faulty Towers the other night. She pipes up 'what's this crap?!'

'Oh only one of the most critically acclaimed comedies of all time darling'

This being a lass who's idea of good TV is Towie or Made In Chelsea. rolleyes

Einion Yrth

19,575 posts

243 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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That's "Fawlty".

HTH

Alex_225

6,234 posts

200 months

Monday 27th March 2017
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Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
Watching Faulty Towers the other night. She pipes up 'what's this crap?!'
My other half doesn't appreciate Fawlty Towers either, or Blackadder!! To comedies I grew up watching and even now are funny. Yet she finds Peter Kay's stand up hilarious!