Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Condi]

Mum earlier in the week when complaining money hadnt arrived in my bank account

'But I went into the bank and they gave me your details'

Eh?? You went into my bank, told them you wanted Mr Condi's bank details and they just handed them over to you?! In which case I need to go have a very long chat with my bank manager about security protocols.

As it happened they wrote down HER details for her and so all she had achieved was to transfer money to herself...

[Blown2CV]

Condi said:

Mum earlier in the week when complaining money hadnt arrived in my bank account

'But I went into the bank and they gave me your details'

Eh?? You went into my bank, told them you wanted Mr Condi's bank details and they just handed them over to you?! In which case I need to go have a very long chat with my bank manager about security protocols.

As it happened they wrote down HER details for her and so all she had achieved was to transfer money to herself...

when even your mum tries to scam you

[Gareth1974]

This evening, moving some things out of the loft:

The wife - What's in that suitcase?
Me - My morning suit
The wife - A morning suit? - why did you buy a new suit for your Grandad's funeral when you've already got that?

Morning not mourning!

[LivingTheDream]

Paul_M3 said:

Billsnemesis said:

Paul_M3 said:

What's classic about that?

Evenings are always the same length. It is the amount of daylight that varies (unless you are moving close to the speed of light).

I disagree. As far as I'm aware there is no defined period for 'evening' and it is completely subjective term.

I'm sure many people probably consider evening to end when the sun sets, which would make 'longer evenings' a perfectly valid description. It's certainly commonly used.

Even the telegraph has used it in headlines (albeit in the opposite way): http://www.telegraph.co.uk/financialservices/insur...

Edited by Paul_M3 on Thursday 4th February 19:07

That doesn't make much sense to me? I agree evening is subjective but if it's when the sun sets then during the winter we wouldn't have an evening. We'd go straight from afternoon to night. Well apart from a little twilight.

'Fancy a couple of beers Thursday evening?'
'Sounds great - what time?'
'4 o clock?'
'That's the afternoon! How about 7?'
'It's dark then, that's Thursday night'
'Does it matter?'
'Hell yes!! You can't deprive me of my evenings!'

[Fane]

"A lot of people have those Gash Cams in their cars these days."

[5potTurbo]

Fane said:

"A lot of people have those Gash Cams in their cars these days."

Are we back to Peter Kay's "Car Sharing" dogging again?!

[Fane]

5potTurbo said:

Are we back to Peter Kay's "Car Sharing" dogging again?!

I've not seen it tbh. If it's a quote, then Peter Kay and "the mrs" are on the same wavelength.

[jontykint]

Scene - Utility Room

Household chore - cloths/bedspread washing and drying

Her - folding up washing off the line
Me - putting bedsheets in the washing machine

"what are you doing"?!
"zipping the duvet cover up"
"why"?
"it helps stop the sheets and pillow covers getting all balled-up inside it"
"but it wont clean it properly"
"you what"???!
"dont look at me like I'm stupid, the water won't get around and through the cover properly"
"holy st are you serious"?
"dont talk to me like that"
etc... etc...

[Trevatanus]

Was in the waiting room at A&E last night, waiting to be seen, missing is sitting directly opposite me. I strike up a conversation with the man next to me. He tells me that he a feels a bit of an arse, as he got sent in from work as he got knocked out by a car park barrier coming down on his head! Said he wanted to go home as he felt fine.
Fast forward an hour or so, I am told I'm ok and sent home. Talking to the Mrs on the way back to the car, tell her about my conversation earlier.
"Did you see the man I was talking to earlier?
"Yes"
"He was in a@e because a barrier fell down on his head and knocked him out"
(We are walking back towards the car park at this point)
"That was handy" she said.
What was I asked?
"That he was at a hospital when the barrier came down on his head
"Hmmmm"

Edited by Trevatanus on Wednesday 17th February 14:23

[DervVW]

watchin "the people vs O.J. Simpson" she says, why are they smoking and do you think he did it/will go to jail?

[rossub]

Belter the other night, had me in stitches ....

Watching a dinosaur programme with the names of the various types being mentioned and she pipes up "how do they know what they were called"

Yup, she's blonde.

[stuttgartmetal]

Sounds like a keeper.

[V8mate]

jontykint said:

Scene - Utility Room

Household chore - cloths/bedspread washing and drying

Her - folding up washing off the line
Me - putting bedsheets in the washing machine

"what are you doing"?!
"zipping the duvet cover up"
"why"?
"it helps stop the sheets and pillow covers getting all balled-up inside it"
"but it wont clean it properly"
"you what"???!
"dont look at me like I'm stupid, the water won't get around and through the cover properly"
"holy st are you serious"?
"dont talk to me like that"
etc... etc...

Your duvet covers have zips?

[stuttgartmetal]

New Jimny.

Her: Its got roof bars on the ceiling.

[john2443]

V8mate said:

Your duvet covers have zips?

I say, I say, I say, my duvet cover's got a zip.

How does it smell?

Terrible, it never gets washed on the inside.

[GroundEffect]

Mrs is a teacher. She's doing a project for the kids on sea-faring pioneers. She's doing Christopher Columbus.

Imagine the pain this brings me.

[Jim the Sunderer]

GroundEffect said:

Mrs is a teacher. She's doing a project for the kids on sea-faring pioneers. She's doing Christopher Columbus.

Imagine the pain this brings me.

Wikipedia said:

Columbus spearheaded the transatlantic slave trade and has been accused by several historians of initiating the genocide of the Hispaniola natives

What a nice chap.

[Jimmy Recard]

Jim the Sunderer said:

Wikipedia said:

Columbus spearheaded the transatlantic slave trade and has been accused by several historians of initiating the genocide of the Hispaniola natives

What a nice chap.

I thought he was a detective

[stuttgartmetal]

Jim the Sunderer said:

GroundEffect said:

Mrs is a teacher. She's doing a project for the kids on sea-faring pioneers. She's doing Christopher Columbus.

Imagine the pain this brings me.

Wikipedia said:

Columbus spearheaded the transatlantic slave trade and has been accused by several historians of initiating the genocide of the Hispaniola natives

What a nice chap.

He got a circle named after him bottom left central park

[davepoth]

Harrytsg said:

2.8 bar is 40psi or thereabouts, maybe you misread?

I once was stuck behind someone who did the same - but she'd put 3.6 bar in to all four! Took bloody ages for the compressor to put that much air in. I imagine the ride was quite interesting.