Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[callmedave]

Heading to my daughters school induction parent afternoon. She's in an all girls school, as we pull up a guy in hi viz directs us to the temporary car park on the playing field.

SWMBO says: I wander if he's a student here?

I reply: in the ALL GIRLS school?? (Plus he looked about 30!)

[D-Angle]

Not really a classic quote, but Mrs D-Angle went for a massage recently and accidentally ended up booking into a rub-and-tug shop. Does that qualify for this thread?

[Trabi601]

D-Angle said:

Not really a classic quote, but Mrs D-Angle went for a massage recently and accidentally ended up booking into a rub-and-tug shop. Does that qualify for this thread?

Did she have a happy ending?

[D-Angle]

Trabi601 said:

D-Angle said:

Not really a classic quote, but Mrs D-Angle went for a massage recently and accidentally ended up booking into a rub-and-tug shop. Does that qualify for this thread?

Did she have a happy ending?

It was a happy ending for me, I have sworn to still be taking the piss out of her for it when I'm on my deathbed.

[Skyedriver]

D-Angle said:

Not really a classic quote, but Mrs D-Angle went for a massage recently and accidentally ended up booking into a rub-and-tug shop. Does that qualify for this thread?

Come again?

[D-Angle]

Skyedriver said:

D-Angle said:

Not really a classic quote, but Mrs D-Angle went for a massage recently and accidentally ended up booking into a rub-and-tug shop. Does that qualify for this thread?

Come again?

No, apparently Linda was all elbows.

[93DW]

Not the Mrs but a girl I worked with a few years back at Halfords.

Customer: Can you tell me where you keep the philips screwdrivers
Her: No sorry sir we only sell Halfords screwdrivers

Cue me and the customer absolutely rolling around laughing.

[Vipers]

93DW said:

Not the Mrs but a girl I worked with a few years back at Halfords.

Customer: Can you tell me where you keep the philips screwdrivers
Her: No sorry sir we only sell Halfords screwdrivers

Cue me and the customer absolutely rolling around laughing.

Reminded me of the girl in the ironmongers when a customer asked for a "bd file"

[gmaz]

Mrs: How can Turkey join the EU when its in Africa?
Me: It's not in Africa its East of Greece
Mrs: What country am I thinking of then?

[DervVW]

gmaz said:

Mrs: How can Turkey join the EU when its in Africa?
Me: It's not in Africa its East of Greece
Mrs: What country am I thinking of then?

Tunisia?

[kowalski655]

DervVW said:

gmaz said:

Mrs: How can Turkey join the EU when its in Africa?
Me: It's not in Africa its East of Greece
Mrs: What country am I thinking of then?

Tunisia?

Taiwan probably

[baldy1926]

Me and the other half are going to France the end of this month on holiday.
She said the other day its a pity we are not going abroad on holiday this year.

[Hasbeen]

Vipers said:

93DW said:

Not the Mrs but a girl I worked with a few years back at Halfords.

Customer: Can you tell me where you keep the philips screwdrivers
Her: No sorry sir we only sell Halfords screwdrivers

Cue me and the customer absolutely rolling around laughing.

Reminded me of the girl in the ironmongers when a customer asked for a "bd file"

I asked a girl in our local parts & accessary shop for a points file. I had all 4 youngsters behind the counter looking at me like I was from another planet when I started explaining about points & distributors & stuff.

The manager must have heard this & appeared with one, gave it to me as a gift, then started training his staff.

[SunsetZed]

theshrew said:

Not the Mrs but a lady that attended the same speed awareness course as me today.

This lady had been caught by the same static camera twice in a month ( even though she knew the camera was there )
She now avoids that road so she doesn't get caught again !

Bloke on my course got caught by the fixed speed camera he installed, karma at it's best!

[HTP99]

In the car the other day listening to the radio and she pipes up:

Her: "What's Sterling?"
Me: "Ehh?"
Her: "Sterling; the guy on the radio said something about the Dollar and Sterling?"

She's 41!

[AClownsPocket]

Playing a quiz with family. Sister in law is asked the question 'In a survey of 100 Chinese people, who did they say was the most famous historical Chinese person?'.

Her answer 'Ken Hom'.

We fell about the place laughing.

She has a history degree...........

[HTP99]

AClownsPocket said:

Playing a quiz with family. Sister in law is asked the question 'In a survey of 100 Chinese people, who did they say was the most famous historical Chinese person?'.

Her answer 'Ken Hom'.

We fell about the place laughing.

She has a history degree...........

Absolute comedy gold; you weren't the only ones who fell about laughing, that is bloody funny.

[Evangelion]

AClownsPocket said:

Playing a quiz with family. Sister in law is asked the question 'In a survey of 100 Chinese people, who did they say was the most famous historical Chinese person?'.

Her answer 'Ken Hom'.

We fell about the place laughing.

She has a history degree...........

Quite right to laugh, everybody knows it's Lang Lang.

[Dog Star]

theshrew said:

Not the Mrs but a lady that attended the same speed awareness course as me today.

This lady had been caught by the same static camera twice in a month ( even though she knew the camera was there )
She now avoids that road so she doesn't get caught again !

My ex was a real speed freak, and when I first met her I gave her written directions to my house (it was before satnav) with a very prominent note about one stretch of road "DO NOT SPEED HERE - SPEED TRAPS"; it was a local hotspot famous for them.

She picked up 9 points along that stretch in 3 weeks. Unbelievable. She spent the next three years having to drive like a tortoise. Actually that's total bks: no she didn't - I'd still regularly catch her getting wound up and starting to race people on the motorway.

She did have vast breasts though. Vast.

[Ki3r]

SunsetZed said:

Bloke on my course got caught by the fixed speed camera he installed, karma at it's best!

That is brilliant.