Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
The girl I went out with when I was 17 (phenomenally hot but stupid as they come - priorities), used to say "doing my heading" instead of "doing my head in" despite numerous corrections.
"Pot cold kettle black" was another.
Current mrs has said loads but the one that springs to mind is:
"I've never tried gammon?"
"Why not?"
"I don't really like fish in general"
Funnily enough she rather likes it now. She has a 1st class degree and works in IT for a law firm. Make of that what you will.
Glad I found this thread. No doubt I'll be back.
"Pot cold kettle black" was another.
Current mrs has said loads but the one that springs to mind is:
"I've never tried gammon?"
"Why not?"
"I don't really like fish in general"
Funnily enough she rather likes it now. She has a 1st class degree and works in IT for a law firm. Make of that what you will.
Glad I found this thread. No doubt I'll be back.
That made me laugh a lot! 
A mate of mine went out with a girl for a while, she wasn't the sharpest tool in the box. She once had an argument in a pub with a Norwegian chap because he said he was from Norway, she replied "there's no such place as Norway, Norwegian people are from Norwegia".
Dog Star said:
She did have vast breasts though. Vast.
This post is useless without pictures.My wife has had Laser eye surgery on one eye, she's waiting for the other one to be done, has worn glasses for 35 years but now doesn't need them
we were out, I was driving
I can't believe how good this eye is , I can see everything perfectly
I've got an eye like Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin, his eyes were s
t, he didn't see that stingray coming
his eye was bionic
I don't think Steve Irwin was the bionic man love, that was Steve Austin
oh right, sulks
we were out, I was driving
I can't believe how good this eye is , I can see everything perfectly
I've got an eye like Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin, his eyes were s
t, he didn't see that stingray coming his eye was bionic
I don't think Steve Irwin was the bionic man love, that was Steve Austin
oh right, sulks
A couple from women who are not my missus..
My foreign colleague at work, didn't quite pick up on our colloquialisms and one hot afternoon in the office, she said "I can't be asked to do any more work today"
Better one, this time from the Mother in Law:
We were at a family christening a couple of years ago with the wife's side of the family, and it had recently been my brother in law's birthday (he's called Tom). His birthday present from the MiL had been a new suit for work and occassions such as this event. So we met up at the church and he was wearing this, and the MIL said, quite loudly to him "Ooh you do look really good in your birthday suit!"
My foreign colleague at work, didn't quite pick up on our colloquialisms and one hot afternoon in the office, she said "I can't be asked to do any more work today"
Better one, this time from the Mother in Law:
We were at a family christening a couple of years ago with the wife's side of the family, and it had recently been my brother in law's birthday (he's called Tom). His birthday present from the MiL had been a new suit for work and occassions such as this event. So we met up at the church and he was wearing this, and the MIL said, quite loudly to him "Ooh you do look really good in your birthday suit!"
Shakermaker said:
We were at a family christening a couple of years ago with the wife's side of the family, and it had recently been my brother in law's birthday (he's called Tom). His birthday present from the MiL had been a new suit for work and occassions such as this event. So we met up at the church and he was wearing this, and the MIL said, quite loudly to him "Ooh you do look really good in your birthday suit!"
Nice one. Bet that went down well in church... 
Her trawling the local sell and seek page on Facebook, " I hate it when people use website images for selling, why don't they just take a picture?"
Maybe they haven't got a camera I reply.
"Of course they have, they have taken a picture from the website"
"That's a screenshot"
"Don't you need a camera for a screenshots?"
Maybe they haven't got a camera I reply.
"Of course they have, they have taken a picture from the website"
"That's a screenshot"
"Don't you need a camera for a screenshots?"
Not the mrs, but a friend. We were going to have a nose around an old castle one weekend, the weather was nice so I was washing my car before she turned up. She arrived just as I'd finished hoovering the interior but had the bonnet and boot up (it's an MG TF).
Her: "Is this electric?"
Me: "No, why?"
Her: "There's no engine!"
Me: "Look behind the boot"
Her: "Why is it there?"
Me: "It means you sit further forward so you can park it easier."
Her: "Okay, that's actually quite clever!"
I didn't have the time nor energy to explain mid-engined cars to her (she doesn't drive and has absolutely no idea about cars in general) so I just left it at that. I should also add that she's been in the car a couple of times before, including a trip involving a fuel stop.
Her: "Is this electric?"
Me: "No, why?"
Her: "There's no engine!"
Me: "Look behind the boot"
Her: "Why is it there?"
Me: "It means you sit further forward so you can park it easier."
Her: "Okay, that's actually quite clever!"
I didn't have the time nor energy to explain mid-engined cars to her (she doesn't drive and has absolutely no idea about cars in general) so I just left it at that. I should also add that she's been in the car a couple of times before, including a trip involving a fuel stop.
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