Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Evangelion said:
My God, you should know that women ALWAYS do this. Ask a man how something went and he'll tell you where he was, what happened and what the outcome was. That's it.
But a woman will tell you every single word that was said by everyone present, all the time she was there, regardless of whether it was relevant or not.
This is so true. When my youngest returns from the rig and my Mrs starts to go through the "news" he's missed whilst offshore, he usually asks "does dad know this story, if so I want him to tell me" . Mrs gets a right cob on and remains silent for all of two minutes But a woman will tell you every single word that was said by everyone present, all the time she was there, regardless of whether it was relevant or not.
PH5121 said:
My wife woke me at 4.55 am this morning to ask what that noise was, obviously I couldn't answer her question as prior to her asking it I was asleep.
She either dreamt it or it was the cat, never mind as within 60 seconds she was fast asleep again and I have been awake since. Cheers love!
My ex was forever doing that, drove me mad that she could get back to sleep and I couldn't She either dreamt it or it was the cat, never mind as within 60 seconds she was fast asleep again and I have been awake since. Cheers love!
.Ki3r said:
PH5121 said:
My wife woke me at 4.55 am this morning to ask what that noise was, obviously I couldn't answer her question as prior to her asking it I was asleep.
She either dreamt it or it was the cat, never mind as within 60 seconds she was fast asleep again and I have been awake since. Cheers love!
My ex was forever doing that, drove me mad that she could get back to sleep and I couldn't She either dreamt it or it was the cat, never mind as within 60 seconds she was fast asleep again and I have been awake since. Cheers love!
.HTP99 said:
DervVW said:
Evangelion said:
Shakermaker said:
Yesterday evening, wife was on the phone to her mum who has just been on holiday to France, and was on the ferry waiting to get off. She then does that thing where she recounts the entire conversation to me after the phone call, even though I was sat in the room with her whilst she was on the phone and could pretty much hear everything her mum said as well.
My God, you should know that women ALWAYS do this. Ask a man how something went and he'll tell you where he was, what happened and what the outcome was. That's it.But a woman will tell you every single word that was said by everyone present, all the time she was there, regardless of whether it was relevant or not.
Not so much things mine said but things she did. Car related if that gets extra PH points?
She decided to change car once a few years back (had a Suzuki Swift at the time) and decided she fancied a BMW 1-series. Drove a couple but was worried about it being RWD. Bought an MX-5 instead.
Fast forward a few years and we had our first baby on the way. I'd not long bought my XKR so she's looking for something practical as a family car. I suggested a Jag XF estate since she liked my car. She dismissed that as being "too big", then proceeded to buy a Mercedes M-Class 4x4.
Car shopping with her is never dull, that much has to be said.
She decided to change car once a few years back (had a Suzuki Swift at the time) and decided she fancied a BMW 1-series. Drove a couple but was worried about it being RWD. Bought an MX-5 instead.
Fast forward a few years and we had our first baby on the way. I'd not long bought my XKR so she's looking for something practical as a family car. I suggested a Jag XF estate since she liked my car. She dismissed that as being "too big", then proceeded to buy a Mercedes M-Class 4x4.
Car shopping with her is never dull, that much has to be said.
8bit said:
Fast forward a few years and we had our first baby on the way. I'd not long bought my XKR so she's looking for something practical as a family car. I suggested a Jag XF estate since she liked my car. She dismissed that as being "too big", then proceeded to buy a Mercedes M-Class 4x4.
It's only an inch or two, but the M-Class is shorter than the XF estate.Timmy40 said:
I dunno about a classic but I just got told by the wife, who has fallen out with the Nanny, that I've got to sort the mess out because the only reason she has a Nanny is to allow me to work! How very inconsiderate of me.
Just so I know I've got this right, you're in charge of hiring a new nanny? 2 options...if you're happy doing it, find the fittest one you can find but who is also well qualified - because your kids happiness can't be entirely dismissed for you getting (another?) gorgeous woman in the house. Ideally find one without a car, who needs a lift home after you've finished work
Or move her into the spare room, remove the locks from the bathroom, and then repeatedly walk in on her in the shower 'by accident' Note to self - I think I've watched too many
Or...if you don't want to do it, get yourself down to the closest strip club and offer the fittest stripper £100 quid to come to your house in the shortest skirt and tightest top she owns, and pretend to be a nanny for an interview with you and your wife. You will never be asked to provide any input into this decision ever again.
We were considering childcare/nanny or nursery.
I (genuinely) found a seemingly great local nanny - had a child of her own, local, good references and suggested we at least interviewed.
Turns out she was a single, Spanish, female, blonde, 26 years old and a part time dance and fitness instructor.
Needless to say we didn't even interview and went for nursery.
I (genuinely) found a seemingly great local nanny - had a child of her own, local, good references and suggested we at least interviewed.
Turns out she was a single, Spanish, female, blonde, 26 years old and a part time dance and fitness instructor.
Needless to say we didn't even interview and went for nursery.
sebhaque said:
I didn't think it was particularly stupid as such, which is why I didn't post it in the "stupid things non-petrolheads say" thread - just thought it worth a mention. The key point was that she'd been present for a refuel. I have no interest in printers either, but if I saw someone replacing an ink cartridge, I probably wouldn't ask them if it was a laserjet printer.
Must. Resist. Taking. The. Piss.I know this post is over a year old, but as I've been laughing for about 5 minutes I needed to quote it to show my appreciation.
Asterix said:
bad company said:
When our kitchen was being decorated Mrs BC went to the builders merchants and asked for 'DILDO RAIL'. She still didn't get when the guys were falling about laughing. 
Was she going to put it up herself? eric twinge said:
Wife: Do you think that in years to come, people will live on the moon?
Me: Don't know, not in our lifetime, or the kids. I wouldn't worry about it.
W: Ok, does the sun shine on the moon?
M: What?
W: Couldn't solar energy panels go on the moon to power the earth?
M: Um, well..Ok, how are you going to get the energy back to earth?
W: Long cables?
I can tell when these thoughts are going round in her head before she mentions them and I usually get out of the way before she has a chance to talk about it as I find it very hard to keep a straight face. However when she talks about these things when I am driving it makes it a challenging journey.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space-based_solar_po...Me: Don't know, not in our lifetime, or the kids. I wouldn't worry about it.
W: Ok, does the sun shine on the moon?
M: What?
W: Couldn't solar energy panels go on the moon to power the earth?
M: Um, well..Ok, how are you going to get the energy back to earth?
W: Long cables?
I can tell when these thoughts are going round in her head before she mentions them and I usually get out of the way before she has a chance to talk about it as I find it very hard to keep a straight face. However when she talks about these things when I am driving it makes it a challenging journey.
Yes, I'm catching up on the whole thread - nearly down to a year behind.
DBSV8 said:
Never Marry a Russian ............
Ice cream gives you a sore Throat !!
During blast off Russian space ships affect the weather !!
Left over cooking is then placed in the fridge still in the pan !!
Russian medicine is always better !!
Unless its 35c you must wrap up warm !!
pics?Ice cream gives you a sore Throat !!
During blast off Russian space ships affect the weather !!
Left over cooking is then placed in the fridge still in the pan !!
Russian medicine is always better !!
Unless its 35c you must wrap up warm !!
DBSV8 said:
Never Marry a Russian ............
Ice cream gives you a sore Throat !!
During blast off Russian space ships affect the weather !!
Left over cooking is then placed in the fridge still in the pan !!
Russian medicine is always better !!
Unless its 35c you must wrap up warm !!
They're all total mongs. No chance would I consider it again.Ice cream gives you a sore Throat !!
During blast off Russian space ships affect the weather !!
Left over cooking is then placed in the fridge still in the pan !!
Russian medicine is always better !!
Unless its 35c you must wrap up warm !!
The over half has just shown me a leaflet with an aerial shot of the hotel we are currently at, saying tomorrow she wants to get one of the sun beds on the roof. I had a look and instantly gave it back to her saying have a closer look. 30 seconds later she realises they are the solar panels.
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