Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
V40Vinnie said:
Emma wanders into the lounge cursing that the printer wont print and its MY fault for buying a crap one. I take the service door off and discover shes tried to print on tracing paper and the mechanisms are full of it. Daft mare
This just reminded me of the time we purchased our first Hoover as a couple (new house).I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
AstonZagato said:
My wife is a superb map reader. It's great when she's in the car and there is a problem ahead: she immediately finds us an efficient route around it and keeps me on track.
I on the other hand, am not nearly as good. I get bored and stop watching where we are relative to the map.
Maybe your wife should take over your login on here while you transfer to mumsnet? I on the other hand, am not nearly as good. I get bored and stop watching where we are relative to the map.
sidekickdmr said:
This just reminded me of the time we purchased our first Hoover as a couple (new house).
I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
Brilliant, just brilliant I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
AstonZagato said:
My wife is a superb map reader. It's great when she's in the car and there is a problem ahead: she immediately finds us an efficient route around it and keeps me on track.
I on the other hand, am not nearly as good. I get bored and stop watching where we are relative to the map.
You sir are a lucky man, as am I because my wife has the same skill. She's far better at getting us around it than any Sat Nav I've ever used (wish I could use that as a justification to take her on business trips!).I on the other hand, am not nearly as good. I get bored and stop watching where we are relative to the map.
My wife has some sort of amazing built in sat nav and has been known to find her way from one side of a foreign city to the other with no map and no problem. I, on the other hand cannot find my way to the end of my road without getting lost. I have no idea, in fact I frequently go 180 degrees wrong.
On the other hand if we DO go anywhere by map, my wife is utterly hopeless, not because she can't read a map, but because she fails to think ahead and give directions ....
Was that the turning?
Yes
Ah
On the other hand if we DO go anywhere by map, my wife is utterly hopeless, not because she can't read a map, but because she fails to think ahead and give directions ....
Was that the turning?
Yes
Ah
Astacus said:
My wife has some sort of amazing built in sat nav and has been known to find her way from one side of a foreign city to the other with no map and no problem. I, on the other hand cannot find my way to the end of my road without getting lost. I have no idea, in fact I frequently go 180 degrees wrong.
On the other hand if we DO go anywhere by map, my wife is utterly hopeless, not because she can't read a map, but because she fails to think ahead and give directions ....
Was that the turning?
Yes
Ah
My daughter used to sit in the back seat and say "Turn there", I would say "Left or Right", she would say "There Dad?" Now do I have eyes in the back of my head......On the other hand if we DO go anywhere by map, my wife is utterly hopeless, not because she can't read a map, but because she fails to think ahead and give directions ....
Was that the turning?
Yes
Ah
sidekickdmr said:
This just reminded me of the time we purchased our first Hoover as a couple (new house).
I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
Was the filter missing? Henrys are like cockroaches, they will still be around to clean up the mess after the balloon goes up.I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
Guvernator said:
I know many females who find reversing difficult as they get confused about which way to turn the wheel and yet I've never met a male who struggles with this.
I drove a van and trailer 50k a year for 20 years , Icould reverse it round a corner through a gap with inches on each side, when i get in the car and start reversing I nearly always start off with 1/2 a turn in the wrong direction before i realise there's no trailer attached on the subject of navigation , my wife and I went to see a play in liverpool, got there a few hours early , had a walk round the city ,,when it came to the time to go I got the phone out, fired up google maps and waited for the satellites to connect
before my £700 worth of 21st century technology had locked on my wife said, it's this way and started walking off.
I caught her up waving the phone in a vain attempt to speed it up , how do you know it's this way
because it said so on that sign
Edited by wack on Wednesday 24th August 23:46
sidekickdmr said:
This just reminded me of the time we purchased our first Hoover as a couple (new house).
I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
I told MrsVX your story, and she wasn't quite listening. She stopped me halfway through to ask how do I know someone called "Henry Vacuum-Cleaner", and was it his real name...I went out and got a lovely new Henry, brand new and still in the box, happily she is hoovering away in no time.
About 2-3 months later I go to pick it up and move it and it weighs more than a small car, I remark that its way overdue a bag empty and I’m surprised its still working, she says "Bag? I thought it was bagless", I remark that she knows full well that’s it’s not as she would have put a bag in it before she used it for the first time and I get a blank/shocked look.
I open it up and there, buried underneath months of dust and grime is the instruction manual, the wheels in a little plastic bag, and 3 hoover bags, still in their wrapper. She had got it out the box, clipped the hose on and started using it immediately.
And a hoover completely and utterly knackered that had to go in the bin
My OH is brilliant at map reading and did all the navigating on the self drive part of our recent trip through France, Spain and Portugal. However, she is not always completely logical. While waiting at a station in France (middle of summer mind) the conversation as the train pulled in went like this.
Her: Ooo, they’ve got the snow clearing gear on early.
Me: Where?
Her: On the front there.
Me: You mean the lever for connecting/disconnecting couplings?
Her: Ummm…
In her defence it did look a tiny bit like a flamethrower pointed at the tracks, if you squinted and angled your head just right.
Her: Ooo, they’ve got the snow clearing gear on early.
Me: Where?
Her: On the front there.
Me: You mean the lever for connecting/disconnecting couplings?
Her: Ummm…
In her defence it did look a tiny bit like a flamethrower pointed at the tracks, if you squinted and angled your head just right.
Driving past windmills that are not turning.......
Mrs: why aren't they turning?
Me: there isn't enough wind just now.
Mrs: you think they would put generators on them so they turn when it isn't windy.
Me: why?
Mrs: so they keep making electricity when it isn't windy.
Me: so generators spending energy to make energy?
Mrs now getting huffy: you don't understand!
Mrs: why aren't they turning?
Me: there isn't enough wind just now.
Mrs: you think they would put generators on them so they turn when it isn't windy.
Me: why?
Mrs: so they keep making electricity when it isn't windy.
Me: so generators spending energy to make energy?
Mrs now getting huffy: you don't understand!
hidetheelephants said:
Was the filter missing? Henrys are like cockroaches, they will still be around to clean up the mess after the balloon goes up.
Too right. My Henry came out of a skip (well, a wheelie bin) and stank to high heaven after some dork had evidently used it to suck up cat crap.Threw the bag and filter away, put the motor to one side, jetwashed the insides and put a new bag and filter in, works fine to this day.
Mind it has to go some way to beat my Vax 121 that I rescued from the council tip in about 1989... apparently it was a year old and the lady of the house complained it was too heavy and cumbersome so hubby had bought her a nice upright and was chucking the Vax. It even had all the tools. I offered him a fiver and he said it would be rude to accept since he was just about to throw it away.
Some years later the flex broke and when I was reeling off some new cable at work
one of the other techies asked me what it was for. When I told him he said "Don't bother fixing it, I have a Vax you can have". Turned out he'd used it to clean out his large aviary but when he got rid of the birds the Vax just sat gathering dust Had to disinfect it to get rid of the stench of bird poo but that too works fine (though he never did bring all the tools in before he retired).
Thus I have two Vaxes and a Henry, collectively amongst the most reliable things I've ever not paid for
BuzzBravado said:
Driving past windmills that are not turning.......
Mrs: why aren't they turning?
Me: there isn't enough wind just now.
Mrs: you think they would put generators on them so they turn when it isn't windy.
Me: why?
Mrs: so they keep making electricity when it isn't windy.
Me: so generators spending energy to make energy?
Mrs now getting huffy: you don't understand!
In her defence, she's almost there. Mrs: why aren't they turning?
Me: there isn't enough wind just now.
Mrs: you think they would put generators on them so they turn when it isn't windy.
Me: why?
Mrs: so they keep making electricity when it isn't windy.
Me: so generators spending energy to make energy?
Mrs now getting huffy: you don't understand!
If she built her windmill by a river with a waterwheel generating electricity. This electricity could be used to power a motor which then turns the windmill.
The windmill is now turning & doing it's primary job of creating electricity for the grid.
When Wind power is generating the electricity for the grid, negating the need for the waterwheel, then the waterwheel's power can be switched to a row of Car Charge Points alongside the windmill.
Soon there will be so many cars parked and charging-up that a superstore will be needed to give them spending opportunities whilst they wait.
She's invented perpetual power and a chain of superstores.
You're a millionaire
☺☺
Vipers said:
So I said to the OH, can you read this.
She says of course, it says "Seven, ach, one, five............." She even managed four more before she noticed me laughing.
Aren't these sort of things just clickbait? Like online quizzes and 'hidden' pictures that anyone can see but they make you feel special by telling you most people can't see them. If your OH cant read that then it's actually her that's the special one.She says of course, it says "Seven, ach, one, five............." She even managed four more before she noticed me laughing.
brrapp said:
Vipers said:
So I said to the OH, can you read this.
She says of course, it says "Seven, ach, one, five............." She even managed four more before she noticed me laughing.
Aren't these sort of things just clickbait? Like online quizzes and 'hidden' pictures that anyone can see but they make you feel special by telling you most people can't see them. If your OH cant read that then it's actually her that's the special one.She says of course, it says "Seven, ach, one, five............." She even managed four more before she noticed me laughing.
She's a star anyway.
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