Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Pothole]

callmedave said:

"Are Milkmen extinct?"

Seriously, i don't how she dresses herself sometimes.

Maybe she never bothered when the milkman used to come round?

[Nom de ploom]

our milkman is a nice bloke - I think he's a bit lonely cos when he calls to collect his money he chats and chats can hardly get rid of him!

saves us a lot of money though

[RizzoTheRat]

Nom de ploom said:

our milkman is a nice bloke - I think he's a bit lonely cos when he calls to collect his money he chats and chats can hardly get rid of him!

saves us a lot of money though

He probably likes to drop round to see his kids

[Nom de ploom]

lol i'll give you that one.

ya tt ;-)

[Cotty]

Nom de ploom said:

our milkman is a nice bloke - I think he's a bit lonely cos when he calls to collect his money he chats and chats can hardly get rid of him!

Sounds like my postman. I suppose he doesn't get to talk to many people during his rounds.

[Vipers]

After all that, we are having fish because it's use by date is today.

[tribbles]

Mrs. T phones me up this morning. "The engine's making a funny noise. It started on the way to work."

So I'm thinking of the myriad of possibilities of what "funny noise" could mean.

"I didn't drive through anything or anything."

Okay, so that eliminates something stuck in the engine bay that she accumulated while driving, or something being knocked off the engine.

I ask her "What sort of noise is it?"

She then makes a rather vague noise which doesn't really help me.

"Did you make it to work?"

"Yes, I did.", she replies

"Okay. Did you start the engine again after stopping it?" (to see if it's a temporary problem)

"No"

"Okay - in which case, see what happens when you leave work on the way home. And don't forget you've got AA cover."

"Okay"

She gets home before me, so when I arrived back at home after work, I'm pleased to see her car there.

I'm not pleased to see a branch sticking out the front of the car.

I get her out of the house to look at the front of the car.

"Oh yes - I drove over that, but I thought it went through."

[poing]

tribbles said:

"I didn't drive through anything or anything."

I'm not pleased to see a branch sticking out the front of the car.

I get her out of the house to look at the front of the car.

"Oh yes - I drove over that, but I thought it went through."

You fell for it, the second she said I didn't drive through anything it means the exact opposite

[vx220]

Not my Mrs, but still...

"You've got a memory like a goldfish bowl..."

I suppose technically it works?

[xRIEx]

poing said:

tribbles said:

"I didn't drive through anything or anything."

I'm not pleased to see a branch sticking out the front of the car.

I get her out of the house to look at the front of the car.

"Oh yes - I drove over that, but I thought it went through."

You fell for it, the second she said I didn't drive through anything it means the exact opposite

Yeah, that sentence stuck out like a V-sign in a school photo.

[Rosscow]

tribbles said:

Mrs. T phones me up this morning. "The engine's making a funny noise. It started on the way to work."

So I'm thinking of the myriad of possibilities of what "funny noise" could mean.

"I didn't drive through anything or anything."

Okay, so that eliminates something stuck in the engine bay that she accumulated while driving, or something being knocked off the engine.

I ask her "What sort of noise is it?"

She then makes a rather vague noise which doesn't really help me.

"Did you make it to work?"

"Yes, I did.", she replies

"Okay. Did you start the engine again after stopping it?" (to see if it's a temporary problem)

"No"

"Okay - in which case, see what happens when you leave work on the way home. And don't forget you've got AA cover."

"Okay"

She gets home before me, so when I arrived back at home after work, I'm pleased to see her car there.

I'm not pleased to see a branch sticking out the front of the car.

I get her out of the house to look at the front of the car.

"Oh yes - I drove over that, but I thought it went through."

Brilliant!!!

[LarryUSA]

Issi said:

But surely then, that's entirely logical.

Like saying "Blimey, I wouldn't like to weed Kew Gardens"

My house number as 17333 on a street with 14 houses! I don't know why they do this...

[figtree]

Her "oooo my feet are aching tonight, fancy giving them a rub?"

Me "..er, no..."

Her "Remember, you used to rub my feet."

Me "You used to give me blowjobs"

Look of death, etc happened.

[ApOrbital]

Get rid of her

[xRIEx]

LarryUSA said:

Issi said:

But surely then, that's entirely logical.

Like saying "Blimey, I wouldn't like to weed Kew Gardens"

My house number as 17333 on a street with 14 houses! I don't know why they do this...

According to wiki:
"On most streets in the United States and Canada, odd numbers are on one side and even numbers on the other. Often, the number assigned is proportional to the distance from some baseline, so not all numbers are used. On very long roads or in areas sufficiently far from the baseline, four- or five-digit addresses are common. For example, along the Overseas Highway in the Florida Keys, house numbers indicate their distance from Mile Marker 0 in Key West. The mileage is found by dividing the house number by 1000 (for example, 77220 Overseas Highway is 77.2 miles from Mile Marker 0). In rural areas, typical numbering may be 1000 for each mile from the nearest town center or radiating from a certain zero-point at the corner or center of a county."

[shep1001]

figtree said:

Her "oooo my feet are aching tonight, fancy giving them a rub?"

Me "..er, no..."

Her "Remember, you used to rub my feet."

Me "You used to give me blowjobs"

Look of death, etc happened.

Going to try this next time th Mrs asks. I fear I will achieve the same result! 😷

[Blown2CV]

figtree said:

Her "oooo my feet are aching tonight, fancy giving them a rub?"

Me "..er, no..."

Her "Remember, you used to rub my feet."

Me "You used to give me blowjobs"

Look of death, etc happened.

brilliant

[Alex@POD]

xRIEx said:

LarryUSA said:

Issi said:

But surely then, that's entirely logical.

Like saying "Blimey, I wouldn't like to weed Kew Gardens"

My house number as 17333 on a street with 14 houses! I don't know why they do this...

According to wiki:
"On most streets in the United States and Canada, odd numbers are on one side and even numbers on the other. Often, the number assigned is proportional to the distance from some baseline, so not all numbers are used. On very long roads or in areas sufficiently far from the baseline, four- or five-digit addresses are common. For example, along the Overseas Highway in the Florida Keys, house numbers indicate their distance from Mile Marker 0 in Key West. The mileage is found by dividing the house number by 1000 (for example, 77220 Overseas Highway is 77.2 miles from Mile Marker 0). In rural areas, typical numbering may be 1000 for each mile from the nearest town center or radiating from a certain zero-point at the corner or center of a county."

They do this in France as well, the house number indicates how far in meters it is from the start of the road its on.

[Vipers]

I said to the OH, "I will take that parcel next door which was left by the couriers"

She shouts "Be carefull, it has glasses in it"

When I came back I asked her how she knew it had glasses in, she said "It has a glass sticker on the box", guys you know the symble to indicate fragile.......................... oh well.

[tribbles]

Alex@POD said:

They do this in France as well, the house number indicates how far in meters it is from the start of the road its on.

Not always true.

My brother had a house built in France, and the road was numbered based on the order in which the houses were built. So you could find number 7 nestled between number 2 and number 15.