Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Mrs Speed 3 watching a Michael McIntyre clip someone had posted on FB about accents. In his routine he's talking in an Aussie accent saying "we talk like this because we lost a day getting here". I pointed out that you actually only lose half a day coming this way and and a day and a half going the other way. Her response - "it depends which way round you go".
EV11NED said:
Just watching SPOTY, and on seeing Leicester City win team of the year I pointed out Kasper Schmeichel to the OH. Who's he she asked. Peter Schmeichel's son I reply. "Does he go in goal or does he work somewhere else? " she asks 
They're all mad, my better half was disappointed that Nick Skelton was only third as "he'll be dead soon so won't be able to win it again".From my mum (GRHS). This was about 1986. My dad was away on a training course and had the video set to tape her soaps.
Mum
calls upstairs) Can you come down and show me how to fast forward the adverts?
Me: (Summed up the situation in about five seconds.) You can't fast forward that, mum.
Mum: Yes you can, Dad does it all the time.
Me: No, he doesn't. I can't do it either.
Mum: (raised voice now) Why are you being such a brat, just fast forward it.
Me: I can't, because you're watching the bloody telly, not the video recording.
Mum
calls upstairs) Can you come down and show me how to fast forward the adverts? Me: (Summed up the situation in about five seconds.) You can't fast forward that, mum.
Mum: Yes you can, Dad does it all the time.
Me: No, he doesn't. I can't do it either.
Mum: (raised voice now) Why are you being such a brat, just fast forward it.
Me: I can't, because you're watching the bloody telly, not the video recording.
EV11NED said:
Just watching SPOTY, and on seeing Leicester City win team of the year I pointed out Kasper Schmeichel to the OH. Who's he she asked. Peter Schmeichel's son I reply. "Does he go in goal or does he work somewhere else? " she asks
it's not a given that he would be a goalie just because his dad was, or am i missing something?Blown2CV said:
EV11NED said:
Just watching SPOTY, and on seeing Leicester City win team of the year I pointed out Kasper Schmeichel to the OH. Who's he she asked. Peter Schmeichel's son I reply. "Does he go in goal or does he work somewhere else? " she asks
it's not a given that he would be a goalie just because his dad was, or am i missing something?Blown2CV said:
EV11NED said:
Just watching SPOTY, and on seeing Leicester City win team of the year I pointed out Kasper Schmeichel to the OH. Who's he she asked. Peter Schmeichel's son I reply. "Does he go in goal or does he work somewhere else? " she asks
it's not a given that he would be a goalie just because his dad was, or am i missing something?It's not really a woman thing is it; not knowing about football, if you don't like or follow football, such as myself, then you won't know; I didn't know that Peter Schmeichel was a goalie, why should I know I don't have any particular interest in it.
Sometimes at work I'll ask colleagues something about football or a match when it's on the telly, they look at me as if I've grown an extra head, really annoys me; football isn't the be all and end all!
HTP99 said:
Blown2CV said:
EV11NED said:
Just watching SPOTY, and on seeing Leicester City win team of the year I pointed out Kasper Schmeichel to the OH. Who's he she asked. Peter Schmeichel's son I reply. "Does he go in goal or does he work somewhere else? " she asks
it's not a given that he would be a goalie just because his dad was, or am i missing something?It's not really a woman thing is it; not knowing about football, if you don't like or follow football, such as myself, then you won't know; I didn't know that Peter Schmeichel was a goalie, why should I know I don't have any particular interest in it.
Sometimes at work I'll ask colleagues something about football or a match when it's on the telly, they look at me as if I've grown an extra head, really annoys me; football isn't the be all and end all!
what has always really f
ked me off about football was the lifelong idea that if you don't like football you were somehow uncool (as a child really) or weird... but football is actually the fking nerdiest thing around. I know a guy who can reel off liverpool stats going back decades, describe particular goals in particular championships, discuss the relative merits of particular foreign players who might or might not sign for his club... on and on for hours. It is literally the geekiest thing possible. Football fans are that, to me: Nerds who won't admit they are nerds.Blown2CV said:
same.
what has always really fked me off about football was the lifelong idea that if you don't like football you were somehow uncool (as a child really) or weird... but football is actually the fking nerdiest thing around. I know a guy who can reel off liverpool stats going back decades, describe particular goals in particular championships, discuss the relative merits of particular foreign players who might or might not sign for his club... on and on for hours. It is literally the geekiest thing possible. Football fans are that, to me: Nerds who won't admit they are nerds.
Hey! We're not all statistic obsessed nerds!what has always really f
ked me off about football was the lifelong idea that if you don't like football you were somehow uncool (as a child really) or weird... but football is actually the fking nerdiest thing around. I know a guy who can reel off liverpool stats going back decades, describe particular goals in particular championships, discuss the relative merits of particular foreign players who might or might not sign for his club... on and on for hours. It is literally the geekiest thing possible. Football fans are that, to me: Nerds who won't admit they are nerds.It is possible to simply walk to a local club, be entertained (maybe, maybe not) for the better part of two hours, drink bad coffee, eat soggy chips, freeze half to death while having a laugh with other fans you met through attending, then stroll home again. All without being able to remember the names of all the players in your own team's squad.
All this is true for non-league football. Except for the coffee bit. Oxford City were the only place we went to on away travel days that actually served real coffee from a percolator.
As for spending your birthday at a freezing cold November 'Hampshire Senior Cup' match away at Andover when their kitchen was out of action so there was no hot food?
NEVER AGAIN!!!
ETA: And yes, my Mrs goes to the footie too. And she understands the offside rule just fine thanks!
Alex@POD said:
Blown2CV said:
[...] It is literally the geekiest thing possible. Football fans are that, to me: Nerds who won't admit they are nerds, then fight each other because they don't support the same team and can't handle a drink.
EFANon-league football especially has a very friendly atmosphere for the most part. 'Opposing' fans mix, contrary opinion is tolerated, and banter is exchanged amiably. There isn't that much drinking involved anyway really. I've chatted with opposition fans from all over the southern half of England at both home and away games. The overwhelming majority have been lovely people, as we all share the same ambition of just keeping our respective clubs alive and playing football (as opposed to being wound up due to unpaid debts). I've seen parts of the country I'd never otherwise have visited, and joined away footie travel up with culture/history/art venues local to where I've been going too. It can be an enriching experience if you let it. I can think of only two clubs whose fans (and then only a small number of them) turned up looking for trouble.
Even up as far as following Swansea City in the Championship and FA Cup in London games, I've had good experiences and not seen violence in grounds. I ended up driving in circles trying to park for a game at Watford, and was then taken under the wing of a large mixed group of Watford fans who walked me to the ground in good time.
But enough about football - back to classics from the Mrs I think...
HTP99 said:
It's not really a woman thing is it; not knowing about football, if you don't like or follow football, such as myself, then you won't know; I didn't know that Peter Schmeichel was a goalie, why should I know I don't have any particular interest in it.
I wasn't going to bother posting as it seemed a bit unfair to her, but as we're talking football...Went out for dinner with wife and son on Friday night, and my son got to talking about football (his favourite topic) and who his 2nd favourite team is. So as he was explaining that it changes regularly depending on who plays for them, and it's previously been Barca, Madrid, Munich, Man City, but apparently now he likes Borussia Dortmund. At which point the wife piped up "who does he play for then?"
Now although highly amused I am also aware that she has no interest in or knowledge of football (or German cities apparently) so managed to stifle my laughter. A 10 year old on the other hand clearly does not have this level of self-control and just pissed himself laughing while his mum looked on bemused
Edited by antspants on Tuesday 20th December 12:16
yellowjack said:
Again. Further to my previous post, it needn't be like that at all.
Non-league football especially has a very friendly atmosphere for the most part. 'Opposing' fans mix, contrary opinion is tolerated, and banter is exchanged amiably. There isn't that much drinking involved anyway really. I've chatted with opposition fans from all over the southern half of England at both home and away games. The overwhelming majority have been lovely people, as we all share the same ambition of just keeping our respective clubs alive and playing football (as opposed to being wound up due to unpaid debts). I've seen parts of the country I'd never otherwise have visited, and joined away footie travel up with culture/history/art venues local to where I've been going too. It can be an enriching experience if you let it. I can think of only two clubs whose fans (and then only a small number of them) turned up looking for trouble.
Even up as far as following Swansea City in the Championship and FA Cup in London games, I've had good experiences and not seen violence in grounds. I ended up driving in circles trying to park for a game at Watford, and was then taken under the wing of a large mixed group of Watford fans who walked me to the ground in good time.
But enough about football - back to classics from the Mrs I think...
Pleased you had a good experience at Watford, we're a real family club and it's always nice to hear people having been treated right by our fans.Non-league football especially has a very friendly atmosphere for the most part. 'Opposing' fans mix, contrary opinion is tolerated, and banter is exchanged amiably. There isn't that much drinking involved anyway really. I've chatted with opposition fans from all over the southern half of England at both home and away games. The overwhelming majority have been lovely people, as we all share the same ambition of just keeping our respective clubs alive and playing football (as opposed to being wound up due to unpaid debts). I've seen parts of the country I'd never otherwise have visited, and joined away footie travel up with culture/history/art venues local to where I've been going too. It can be an enriching experience if you let it. I can think of only two clubs whose fans (and then only a small number of them) turned up looking for trouble.
Even up as far as following Swansea City in the Championship and FA Cup in London games, I've had good experiences and not seen violence in grounds. I ended up driving in circles trying to park for a game at Watford, and was then taken under the wing of a large mixed group of Watford fans who walked me to the ground in good time.
But enough about football - back to classics from the Mrs I think...
tribalsurfer said:
Pleased you had a good experience at Watford, we're a real family club and it's always nice to hear people having been treated right by our fans.
My Uncle got jumped by a couple of Watford fans walking home from a Stoke game a few years ago. Real family club, turned out they were both related as they were caught on CCTV. DanielSan said:
tribalsurfer said:
Pleased you had a good experience at Watford, we're a real family club and it's always nice to hear people having been treated right by our fans.
My Uncle got jumped by a couple of Watford fans walking home from a Stoke game a few years ago. Real family club, turned out they were both related as they were caught on CCTV. Skyrat said:
From my mum (GRHS). This was about 1986. My dad was away on a training course and had the video set to tape her soaps.
Mumcalls upstairs) Can you come down and show me how to fast forward the adverts?
Me: (Summed up the situation in about five seconds.) You can't fast forward that, mum.
Mum: Yes you can, Dad does it all the time.
Me: No, he doesn't. I can't do it either.
Mum: (raised voice now) Why are you being such a brat, just fast forward it.
Me: I can't, because you're watching the bloody telly, not the video recording.
She was right in that you were being a brat Mum
calls upstairs) Can you come down and show me how to fast forward the adverts? Me: (Summed up the situation in about five seconds.) You can't fast forward that, mum.
Mum: Yes you can, Dad does it all the time.
Me: No, he doesn't. I can't do it either.
Mum: (raised voice now) Why are you being such a brat, just fast forward it.
Me: I can't, because you're watching the bloody telly, not the video recording.
From one of the young girls in the office today after being informed she had no lights on in the fog yesterday. A white Audi I hasted to add, so a ghost car in those conditions.
"They're automatic lights, they come on when I need them. When it gets to a certain darkness they come on automatically" followed by "I don't know how to turn my fog lights on"
"They're automatic lights, they come on when I need them. When it gets to a certain darkness they come on automatically" followed by "I don't know how to turn my fog lights on"
Celtic Dragon said:
From one of the young girls in the office today after being informed she had no lights on in the fog yesterday. A white Audi I hasted to add, so a ghost car in those conditions.
"They're automatic lights, they come on when I need them. When it gets to a certain darkness they come on automatically" followed by "I don't know how to turn my fog lights on"
I really do think that the driving test should include an intelligence test as well."They're automatic lights, they come on when I need them. When it gets to a certain darkness they come on automatically" followed by "I don't know how to turn my fog lights on"
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