Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[skinnyman]

Watching Lord of The Rings.

"What time period is this set in? Is it like medieval times? Or later?"

[Guvernator]

skinnyman said:

Watching Lord of The Rings.

"What time period is this set in? Is it like medieval times? Or later?"

Lol, although Tolkien had gone on record to state it was set on our earth about 6000 years ago so about 4000 years BC. Maybe just tell her that and say they are still desperately seaching for fossil records of Orks, Elves and dragons.

[skinnyman]

I also told her Star Wars was set in the past, blew her mind.

[Blown2CV]

left/right hand up/down is a pretty standard way of guiding someone in a car, otherwise you get into the "do you my left or your left, what do you mean, oh fk off!" situation

[vx220]

Not my missus, but "why don't trains have steering wheels?"

[PoleDriver]

vx220 said:

Not my missus, but "why don't trains have steering wheels?"

We sell a 2 seat electric powered rail inspection vehicle. I've lost count of the number of times people have sat on one and asked where the steering wheel is!

[Skyedriver]

Robbo 27 said:

She is great at parking, reverses into spaces at the side of the road first time every time.

Unless I am helping

So why not butt out and let her get on with it?

[Blown2CV]

I have given up getting Mrs 2CV to assist me in manoeuvring the car in tight spaces. Whenever I asked her previously she would get out of the car and go and stand in roughly the right spot as to help, but then she would just watch the ensuing events as an inert observer. Weirded out by this behaviour, I tried to educate her a bit that being as I was driving the car, I was the one who needed the information as to how much room etc i had, so could she give me at least an inkling of what was going on. Turns out she genuinely hadn't twigged that was what her role was in the arrangement. So, we agreed I might want to know if I need to turn, and which way, how much gap, am i about to hit something, when should i stop etc. However, within a few seconds of trying this out for the first time, she gave up telling me she had no idea how to do any of those things. I was confused that she was so confused.

[Skyrat]

Blown2CV said:

I have given up getting Mrs 2CV to assist me in manoeuvring the car in tight spaces. Whenever I asked her previously she would get out of the car and go and stand in roughly the right spot as to help, but then she would just watch the ensuing events as an inert observer. Weirded out by this behaviour, I tried to educate her a bit that being as I was driving the car, I was the one who needed the information as to how much room etc i had, so could she give me at least an inkling of what was going on. Turns out she genuinely hadn't twigged that was what her role was in the arrangement. So, we agreed I might want to know if I need to turn, and which way, how much gap, am i about to hit something, when should i stop etc. However, within a few seconds of trying this out for the first time, she gave up telling me she had no idea how to do any of those things. I was confused that she was so confused.

Some women are just clueless when it comes to stuff like this, my wife included. I'll ask for some help getting into a tight space and she'll get out and just stand there. When I then get a bit annoyed:
"You didn't tell me what you wanted me to do!"

I've never had to elaborate with another guy. So once I explain, she goes and stands in a blind spot, waving her arms around like a mad thing. Their minds just work differently

[HTP99]

I can't believe you guys get your other halves to help you park, my god!!

[Abbott]

I think there is enough fuel for a separate thread on women and central heating system. We have an intelligent system that adjusts the on off time depending on temp outside. the Mrs is always complaining that the heating cames on early or later than expected. So she is amazed that I can tell her it was a hot day or cold day in line with her comments.

[spitfire-ian]

HTP99 said:

I can't believe you guys get your other halves to help you park, my god!!

I was thinking that! Don't think I've had anyone get out of the car to help me park ever.

[colonel c]

Evangelion said:

"Left hand down a bit" ?

You are Sub-Lieutenant Phillips from The Navy Lark and I claim my five pounds.

OT: I've been listening to the reruns on Radio Four Extra. Of it's time but cracks me up.

[Skyrat]

HTP99 said:

I can't believe you guys get your other halves to help you park, my god!!

Big car, reversing into a small supermarket space, parking sensors don't pick up the small bollards that I need to get tight against so my nose isn't sticking out into the road. That ok with you?

[Robbo 27]

Skyrat said:

Big car, reversing into a small supermarket space, parking sensors don't pick up the small bollards that I need to get tight against so my nose isn't sticking out into the road. That ok with you?

We were once parking in an underground car park, the bay was a straightforward drive in and there was a wall at the end of it. She was parking, didnt drive in fast but didnt slow down either. At the last possible moment I pulled on the handbrake, got the inevitable comment, what the hell did you do that for.

We got out, went round the front of the car, the bumper was touching the wall, car paint was now brick paint.

'I still think I had plenty of time.'

[Perik Omo]

colonel c said:

Evangelion said:

"Left hand down a bit" ?

You are Sub-Lieutenant Phillips from The Navy Lark and I claim my five pounds.

OT: I've been listening to the reruns on Radio Four Extra. Of it's time but cracks me up.

Required Sunday afternoon listening when I was a young'en, after the pub Sunday lunchtime pub!!

[Evangelion]

Perik Omo said:

... after the pub Sunday lunchtime pub!!

You went twice?

[Robbo 27]

Perik Omo said:

Required Sunday afternoon listening when I was a young'en, after the pub Sunday lunchtime pub!!

And the Clitheroe Kid.

[Ari]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

klmhcp said:

sc0tt said:

klmhcp said:

ChemicalChaos said:

Bought my mum some of these for Christmas to put in her whisky



They are hollow plastic with distilled water inside, that you put in the freezer to use without diluting your drink.
She tried them today, and came to me disappointed. Apparently, she was expecting them to stand up on the bottom of the glass rather than float on the surface of the drink.....

That's a real classic from your mrs.
It's a bit weird about how you talk about your house, cars and now Mother as if they're things that are yours rather than your father's.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/n...

oof!!
I'm not sure he takes it that far. I just think once the parents have gone out for the a while, he just dresses up as his dad and wonders around the house,and PH, pretending to be him. 'Which lawnmower do I need?' He might ask, 'look at what my silly missus said, lucky she got a decent rack on her' he might follow up with. Pretty disturbing stuff on the whole.

Quite how the two of you make the leap from what was said to what you have surmised says rather more about you than Chemical Chaos. fking idiots.

Spot on. If I was referring to my mother, how would I do it without saying 'my mother'?

Should I say 'the woman that gave birth to me but belongs to my father'?

Some very disturbed people on here these days...

[Blown2CV]

Skyrat said:

HTP99 said:

I can't believe you guys get your other halves to help you park, my god!!

Big car, reversing into a small supermarket space, parking sensors don't pick up the small bollards that I need to get tight against so my nose isn't sticking out into the road. That ok with you?

yes exactly. It's not like i would need hand-holding every fking time; it's once in a blue moon so the fact that she withdraws into the foetal position at the thought of such a complex task doesn't inconvenience me too often.