Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Skyrat said:
HTP99 said:
I can't believe you guys get your other halves to help you park, my god!!
Big car, reversing into a small supermarket space, parking sensors don't pick up the small bollards that I need to get tight against so my nose isn't sticking out into the road. That ok with you?
Big old Volvo, half a farmers field on the back window and the tow bar protruding. Better safe than sorry.
We've a second driveway/parking area at the back of the house that's about the length of two cars, getting a car on there is easy enough, but it's got a good slope up to it. The first time I wanted to reverse my (large) trailer on there I asked the missus to watch the overhang of the trailer to make sure it didn't bottom out. She decides the best place to stand is directly behind the trailer where I can't see her, and seemed utterly bewildered when I suggested she stand to the side so I can see and hear her. The manoeuvre then went like this:
"How much room have I got?"
"You're ok"
Silence.... silence.... silence....
CRUNCH! ...... stop!
"FFS"
"I did say stop"
"Perhaps you could tell me to stop BEFORE I crash next time??"
"I didn't know"
This happened 3 times before I gave up. Three times!!
There's several large grooves in the driveway now.
"How much room have I got?"
"You're ok"
Silence.... silence.... silence....
CRUNCH! ...... stop!
"FFS"
"I did say stop"
"Perhaps you could tell me to stop BEFORE I crash next time??"
"I didn't know"
This happened 3 times before I gave up. Three times!!
There's several large grooves in the driveway now.
I am happy to admit to asking the Mrs for help with parking a few times - especially in Central London and very tight resident's bays.
Imagine a bay that is very tight and busy traffic. I ask the Mrs to jump out and give me simple and accurate help with the 5 or even 7 point manoeuvre to get into the tight bay. So relying on her to give me every extra 1 or 2" on the way back and forth?
So what do it get (despite doing something different if the roles are reversed?)
Huge massive waving of arms (as if there is 4ft of room) followed by massive banging on rear window or car to stop RIGHT NOW as about to touch the wall/car/bollard.
If I am lucky, she will then walk to the other end and repeat - waiving as if I am a jumbo heading onto a runway followed by manic banging.....
Is it only my Mrs? (And yes, I should learn how to park without her but once in a blue moon, it is handy....)
ps - In case not obvious, if the roles are reversed, I stand where I can be clearly seen with my hands out as if measuring a fish (bad analogy) and then draw them together in line with the available space or room still to move. Quite simple?? If hands are miles apart, no point in inching mm by mm? Seems easy enough to me?
Imagine a bay that is very tight and busy traffic. I ask the Mrs to jump out and give me simple and accurate help with the 5 or even 7 point manoeuvre to get into the tight bay. So relying on her to give me every extra 1 or 2" on the way back and forth?
So what do it get (despite doing something different if the roles are reversed?)
Huge massive waving of arms (as if there is 4ft of room) followed by massive banging on rear window or car to stop RIGHT NOW as about to touch the wall/car/bollard.
If I am lucky, she will then walk to the other end and repeat - waiving as if I am a jumbo heading onto a runway followed by manic banging.....
Is it only my Mrs? (And yes, I should learn how to park without her but once in a blue moon, it is handy....)
ps - In case not obvious, if the roles are reversed, I stand where I can be clearly seen with my hands out as if measuring a fish (bad analogy) and then draw them together in line with the available space or room still to move. Quite simple?? If hands are miles apart, no point in inching mm by mm? Seems easy enough to me?
Robbo 27 said:
She is great at parking, reverses into spaces at the side of the road first time every time.
Unless I am helping.
If the space is very tight I get out to help.
I used to say left hand down a bit, she turns right.
Now I say right hand down bit when I want her to turn left, no problem.
If I explain what left hand down on the steering wheel means it pi55es her off, not worth the aggro. I suspect she thinks that the hand on the wheel has to go down through the full circle of the wheel but I am not going to ask.
No matter how many times I explain what "left hand down" etc means she she refuses to understand.Unless I am helping.
If the space is very tight I get out to help.
I used to say left hand down a bit, she turns right.
Now I say right hand down bit when I want her to turn left, no problem.
If I explain what left hand down on the steering wheel means it pi55es her off, not worth the aggro. I suspect she thinks that the hand on the wheel has to go down through the full circle of the wheel but I am not going to ask.
saaby93 said:
c'mon chaps translators required
How does left hand down mean turn right?
left hand let go?
https://metavideos.com/video/21092/hard-on-your-le...How does left hand down mean turn right?
left hand let go?
carlpea said:
Great video thanks for posting, love the line 'Hard on your left'.If I said that to the missus when she was parking she would say 'Yes and a dick behind.'
WilliamWoollard said:
We've a second driveway/parking area at the back of the house that's about the length of two cars, getting a car on there is easy enough, but it's got a good slope up to it. The first time I wanted to reverse my (large) trailer on there I asked the missus to watch the overhang of the trailer to make sure it didn't bottom out. She decides the best place to stand is directly behind the trailer where I can't see her, and seemed utterly bewildered when I suggested she stand to the side so I can see and hear her. The manoeuvre then went like this:
"How much room have I got?"
"You're ok"
Silence.... silence.... silence....
CRUNCH! ...... stop!
"FFS"
"I did say stop"
"Perhaps you could tell me to stop BEFORE I crash next time??"
"I didn't know"
This happened 3 times before I gave up. Three times!!
There's several large grooves in the driveway now.
Thats my sister"How much room have I got?"
"You're ok"
Silence.... silence.... silence....
CRUNCH! ...... stop!
"FFS"
"I did say stop"
"Perhaps you could tell me to stop BEFORE I crash next time??"
"I didn't know"
This happened 3 times before I gave up. Three times!!
There's several large grooves in the driveway now.
"Okay your way?" (At awkward angle junction)
Her: "yes" while looking down and obviously paying no attention to road whatsoever.
Her, few moments after I've driven off suddenly "oh did you check, I didn't look"
Blown2CV said:
saaby93 said:
c'mon chaps translators required
How does left hand down mean turn right?
left hand let go?
if you're reversing. Duh.How does left hand down mean turn right?
left hand let go?
ah I see so if you turn yourself around inside the car it turns right - ha ha
hairyben said:
Thats my sister
"Okay your way?" (At awkward angle junction)
Her: "yes" while looking down and obviously paying no attention to road whatsoever.
Her, few moments after I've driven off suddenly "oh did you check, I didn't look"
O/T, but I heard a (probably apocryphal) story of a couple sharing a packet of crisps while the chap drove. At a busy junction, he asked "Anything left?", she looked in the empty bag of crisps and said "No", so understandably he pulled out..."Okay your way?" (At awkward angle junction)
Her: "yes" while looking down and obviously paying no attention to road whatsoever.
Her, few moments after I've driven off suddenly "oh did you check, I didn't look"
Was laid in bed with the other half, she's humming a tune. The Phil Collins 80s pop track Sussudio.
Apart from she sings the lyrics, "St-st-studiooooo!" at which point I cracked up. Totally baffled that the words weren't what she was singing! She was adamant the song was called Studio!
Apart from she sings the lyrics, "St-st-studiooooo!" at which point I cracked up. Totally baffled that the words weren't what she was singing! She was adamant the song was called Studio!
AndyDubbya said:
hairyben said:
Thats my sister
"Okay your way?" (At awkward angle junction)
Her: "yes" while looking down and obviously paying no attention to road whatsoever.
Her, few moments after I've driven off suddenly "oh did you check, I didn't look"
O/T, but I heard a (probably apocryphal) story of a couple sharing a packet of crisps while the chap drove. At a busy junction, he asked "Anything left?", she looked in the empty bag of crisps and said "No", so understandably he pulled out..."Okay your way?" (At awkward angle junction)
Her: "yes" while looking down and obviously paying no attention to road whatsoever.
Her, few moments after I've driven off suddenly "oh did you check, I didn't look"
hairyben said:
its like all those mongs who cross the road while ifacing their twitphones, I'm physically incapable of doing that.
Someone nearly walked in to my car the other day doing that, it's bright blue, I had the headlights on, it's a clattery diesel, and I was stationary. She realised when she was about a foot off my front bumper 
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