Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Vipers]

Watching telly, they mention a name and "aka", so I said to the OH

You know what aka means

She said "Those blokes with white hoods on"

She was thinking of the KKK.

[Nimby]

Skyedriver said:

Been holding back but keep humming

"Whale Kipper whelk=um in the ell-ands

I thought it was "Whale kipper whelk hum in the eel side" (c) I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again circa 1970.

Ah, nearly right: link - lots more fishy puns there.

Edited by Nimby on Wednesday 15th February 09:52

[Guvernator]

Vipers said:

Watching telly, they mention a name and "aka", so I said to the OH

You know what aka means

She said "Those blokes with white hoods on"

She was thinking of the KKK.

[Blib]

One from Master Blib.

Some of his mates bought him a retro record player for his birthday. The carry-case type. Along with some records.

He eagerly set it up and after a quick lesson from me, placed the arm down onto the disk.

After a few minutes listening to Eminem, he turned to me and asked, "How do you pause it"

[Robbo 27]

Blib said:

One from Master Blib.

Some of his mates bought him a retro record player for his birthday. The carry-case type. Along with some records.

He eagerly set it up and after a quick lesson from me, placed the arm down onto the disk.

After a few minutes listening to Eminem, he turned to me and asked, "How do you pause it"

Thats as bad as when I took my mother to buy a new car, she wasnt interested in the engine or much else. The only question she asked the salesman was;

'Does it have a radiogram?'

[vx220]

Robbo 27 said:

Thats as bad as when I took my mother to buy a new car, she wasnt interested in the engine or much else. The only question she asked the salesman was;

'Does it have a radiogram?'

My grandmother allegedly got out of a car to have a look on the roof for the overhead cam that the salesman was discussing with my grandfather...

[SpeckledJim]

sc0tt said:

Blown2CV said:

i think there are more men with secret bodily/sexual weirdnesses than women... either that or women are better at making up the tales. Mrs 2CV's mate reckons she once pulled a guy who's nob was the same size and shape as a button mushroom. Another a guy with bks the size of cricket balls. Another reckons that a bloke she pulled emitted a tiny foul-smelling squeaky fart from his penis before 'the moment'. She chundered immediately and then got an eyeful.

Hold up.

He farted out of his cock.

Classics from PH'ers....

That's not a fart, she inflated him.

"Suck love, suck! 'Blow job' is just a figure of speech!"

[CharlesdeGaulle]

SpeckledJim said:

'Blow job' is just a figure of speech!

We can all tell you're married just from that slightly edited quote.

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

RammyMP said:

Vipers said:

Just bought a fold out bed for our visitors coming later in the year.

I said to the OH "It comes with a lifetime guarantee"

She said "It will probably outlive me then".......

God, my mums started saying stuff like that (she's 70). The latest quote "I'm going to get a new car, fancy a Honda Jazz... that'll see me out!"

My dad's (72 yo) been getting like this too recently. Apparently his VW Touran is also going to 'see him out'.

I doubt it, his mum passed at 93 and his two aunties at 98 and 107 (the latter lived in three different centuries and Queen Victoria reigned when she was a little girl!)

[Einion Yrth]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

SpeckledJim said:

'Blow job' is just a figure of speech!

We can all tell you're married just from that slightly edited quote.

s/figure of speech/fond memory/

or in slightly less geek...

"Figure of speech" == "fond memory?

[8bit]

Einion Yrth said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

SpeckledJim said:

'Blow job' is just a figure of speech!

We can all tell you're married just from that slightly edited quote.

s/figure of speech/fond memory/

or in slightly less geek...

"Figure of speech" == "fond memory?

That's what she sed

[Skyedriver]

Nimby said:

Skyedriver said:

Been holding back but keep humming

"Whale Kipper whelk=um in the ell-ands

I thought it was "Whale kipper whelk hum in the eel side" (c) I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again circa 1970.

Ah, nearly right: link - lots more fishy puns there.

Edited by Nimby on Wednesday 15th February 09:52

Rumbled, but mt memory is poor.
Always liked the dinner party anouncements
Mr & Mrs .... and the son/daughter etc

[Evangelion]

What like Mr and Mrs House and their boring son, T.D. House?

Or Mr and Mrs Bodies and their nymphomaniac daughter, N.E. Bodies?

Or Mr and Mrs Wrack and their geeky daughter?

[Robbo 27]

Here is Mrs Salata with her children.

Oh and I see she is leaving,

Ta Ra Ma Salata

[RammyMP]

The wife's out in Manchester tonight, the motorway coming home will be shut for resurfacing so I told her she won't be able to use it. Her response: "what? So I'll have to use the road?"

She had a paddy when I said you could drive home through the fields.

[Evangelion]

Is she Chinese then?

[yellowjack]

Doing a 'crossword' this morning...

Me: Sea bird, three letters. Begins with an 'A'
Her: Erm... Tern?


Her excuse? "Sorry, I wasn't really listening to you".

Well I suppose I now know how she feels when I switch off my hearing aid...

[Blown2CV]

yellowjack said:

Doing a 'crossword' this morning...

Me: Sea bird, three letters. Begins with an 'A'
Her: Erm... Tern?


Her excuse? "Sorry, I wasn't really listening to you".

Well I suppose I now know how she feels when I switch off my hearing aid...

auk

[glenrobbo]

Evangelion said:

Is she Chinese then?

No, but apparently she has a bit of Irish in her.

Sorry.

[Vipers]

Have I failed, the OH is looking for a topper for our mattress, and says "How much is five inches", she is looking at the thickness BTY.........