Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Vipers said:
Have I failed, the OH is looking for a topper for our mattress, and says "How much is five inches", she is looking at the thickness BTY.........
O/T we're looking for one as well and have no idea what to get. Such differences in materials, type, sleep experience and price. We just want one that's really comfy, luxurious and around £100. How are you choosing?Classic from the daughter, few years ago.
She was out on the razzle one night with her friends, they walked past a advertising hoarding for a vacuum cleaner.
It said 'nothing sucks like an Electrolux'.
She got up on a boys shoulders and wrote on the poster.
Apart from Collette 07956.........
Collette got so many phone calls that week.
She was out on the razzle one night with her friends, they walked past a advertising hoarding for a vacuum cleaner.
It said 'nothing sucks like an Electrolux'.
She got up on a boys shoulders and wrote on the poster.
Apart from Collette 07956.........
Collette got so many phone calls that week.
Casa Twisty, yesterday...
Her - Are snakes reptiles?
Me - What? Yes...
Her - But they haven't got any legs.
Me - Err....
I didn't pursue it any further. That way madness lies.
(For clarity, she is a highly qualified, cultured, eloquent 31 year old. How these knowledge gaps occur is a mystery to me!)
Her - Are snakes reptiles?
Me - What? Yes...
Her - But they haven't got any legs.
Me - Err....
I didn't pursue it any further. That way madness lies.
(For clarity, she is a highly qualified, cultured, eloquent 31 year old. How these knowledge gaps occur is a mystery to me!)
We have mice in the shed so I went out yesterday and bought 2 mouse traps.
Lately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
Lately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
mrtwisty said:
Casa Twisty, yesterday...
Her - Are snakes reptiles?
Me - What? Yes...
Her - But they haven't got any legs.
Me - Err....
I didn't pursue it any further. That way madness lies.
(For clarity, she is a highly qualified, cultured, eloquent 31 year old. How these knowledge gaps occur is a mystery to me!)
She's obviously more familiar with lounge lizards than SWT's. Her - Are snakes reptiles?
Me - What? Yes...
Her - But they haven't got any legs.
Me - Err....
I didn't pursue it any further. That way madness lies.
(For clarity, she is a highly qualified, cultured, eloquent 31 year old. How these knowledge gaps occur is a mystery to me!)
Is her name Sal or 'Manda?Sorry.
Edited by glenrobbo on Wednesday 22 February 11:20
HTP99 said:
We have mice in the shed so I went out yesterday and bought 2 mouse traps.
Lately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
Lately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
My wife hates spiders, she doesnt scream or anything but wants them out of the house, personally I either thwack them with my slipper or put them down the loo.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
Robbo 27 said:
My wife hates spiders, she doesnt scream or anything but wants them out of the house, personally I either thwack them with my slipper or put them down the loo.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
Don't tell me - it locked her out!
Robbo 27 said:
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card...
I tried that once, but while I was fetching the piece of card, the spider got out from under the glass - it was stronger than it looked.....Back on topic....
A year or so ago, SWMBO once said "that series you like is coming back - what's it called? Cheeky Bleeders?" (its Peaky Blinders for those that don't watch anything other than PH videos...)
havoc said:
Robbo 27 said:
My wife hates spiders, she doesnt scream or anything but wants them out of the house, personally I either thwack them with my slipper or put them down the loo.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
She gets a glass and puts it over the spider and then a piece of card, either out the window or puts it outside. She may now be cured of the last option.
She found a particularly large spider, it needed a pint glass to cover it, she carried it at arms length, opened the back door, walked slowly to the lawn and opened the glass onto the grass.
The spider ran so fast to the back door it got there before she did.
Don't tell me - it locked her out!
HTP99 said:
We have mice in the shed so I went out yesterday and bought 2 mouse traps.
Lately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
Get a humane mouse trap, then wave the still living trapped mouse in her face, once the screams die down she may change her mind on lethal onesLately the wife seems to have gained some kind of conscience when it comes to vermin; recently she wanted to start putting out dog food for foxes FFS, she seems to have forgotten that one, thank god.
Anyway she said that she wasn't happy about mice dying, so I told her that I would set the traps to stun; she believed me!!
This morning I checked the traps and we already had a kill so I disposed of it, she asked if we had caught any mice, I said yes, it was stunned so I released it at the end of the garden, she believed me.
She then said, I guess the stunned mice may come back, however if they get stunned again they would probably get fed up and move out!!
A couple of relevant and salutary (but very funny in a Schadenfreude way) tales:
http://dailycaller.com/2012/12/06/old-man-throws-m...
and
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/16/man-burns...
http://dailycaller.com/2012/12/06/old-man-throws-m...
and
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/16/man-burns...
Some years ago mice in the shed ate the indicator wiring on my horse truck. My wife did not like me using rat bait to kill the little buggers.
A few weeks later her Toyota Cressida was running very rough when she left for work. The Cressida had the plug wires running through the valley between the cam covers. Mice had got into this, started building a nest of grass, & ate through 3 plug wires.
She was almost 2 hours late by the time I had got some suitable replacements, but still did not want me to put poison in the garage.
9 days later, when the mice repeated the exercise she changed her mind, & still checks to see the rat bait dispensers are full 7 years later.
A few weeks later her Toyota Cressida was running very rough when she left for work. The Cressida had the plug wires running through the valley between the cam covers. Mice had got into this, started building a nest of grass, & ate through 3 plug wires.
She was almost 2 hours late by the time I had got some suitable replacements, but still did not want me to put poison in the garage.
9 days later, when the mice repeated the exercise she changed her mind, & still checks to see the rat bait dispensers are full 7 years later.
Out with a lady friend at the weekend discussing the upcoming shoot for Jurassic World to in Minley Woods (subject to confirmation)
Apparently, the dinosaurs were "cologned" by Jeff Goldblum. She then corrected herself and said it was David Attenborough.
Had visions of them running around the woods with an atomiser full of fruit spray chasing dinosaurs...
Apparently, the dinosaurs were "cologned" by Jeff Goldblum. She then corrected herself and said it was David Attenborough.
Had visions of them running around the woods with an atomiser full of fruit spray chasing dinosaurs...
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