Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

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TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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AndyDubbya said:
Sister-in-law: "I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole."
hehe

I bet she wouldn't touch him as far as she could throw him.

CanAm

9,114 posts

271 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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viscountdallara said:
Another eclipse one.

I mentioned this mornings solar eclipse.
She replies.. "Which one was it ?"
ME... " The one where the moon passes between us and the sun"
HER..." What's the other one called, the one where the sun comes in front of the moon ?"

I kid you not !!!!!!!!!!
Be fair; she knew there was such a thing as a lunar eclipse - she just had the bodies in the wrong order!

Meanwhile, from Mrs CanAm watching TV, "I hate these fly on the ceiling documentaries".

Nimby

4,572 posts

149 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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CanAm said:
Be fair; she knew there was such a thing as a lunar eclipse - she just had the bodies in the wrong order!
Both Liz Bonnin and one of the BBC weather ladies talked about "the moon casting its shadow on the sun".

Gandahar

9,600 posts

127 months

Tuesday 24th March 2015
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My wife this week after I put a large ham bone from pets at home on top of the oven extractor fan so the doggy couldn't nick it

"What's this humongous bone? Do we still need it up here?"

And me with my daughter in the car.

Me "If you are worried about getting fat why don't you play more sport? Badminton is good"
Her "I'm not good at that, I prefer tennis but I am no good at it"
Me " But with badminton the shuttlecock floats more so easier to hit"
Her " I've always been better with balls".

Me

"So you are better with balls than cock?"

To which she knew I was being rude and then tried to to out do me with some crap joke about the bus coming, fnnar fnnar. Fell completely flat compared to my expert rudeness.

So we drove home in silence and she played Minecraft whilst I watched Blakes Seven.




illmonkey

18,111 posts

197 months

Tuesday 24th March 2015
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Who was driving?!

Gandahar

9,600 posts

127 months

Tuesday 24th March 2015
quotequote all
illmonkey said:
Who was driving?!
Me badly whilst sniggering. We might have run over a pensioner but luckily no damage. They have artificial hips that can sometimes cause your tracking to be thrown out of kilter.

C.A.R.

3,967 posts

187 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
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Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.

illmonkey

18,111 posts

197 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
quotequote all
Gandahar said:
illmonkey said:
Who was driving?!
Me badly whilst sniggering. We might have run over a pensioner but luckily no damage. They have artificial hips that can sometimes cause your tracking to be thrown out of kilter.
Whilst watching blakes seven, right?

Dennis99

308 posts

162 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
quotequote all
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"
Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war. biggrin

DannyScene

6,596 posts

154 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
quotequote all
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.
Eh what the hell was she trying to say?

Pothole

34,367 posts

281 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
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Dennis99 said:
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"
Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war. biggrin
The woods are lovely, dark and deep...

SpeckledJim

31,608 posts

252 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
quotequote all
DannyScene said:
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.
Eh what the hell was she trying to say?
Guessing she misread a sign on the cage that said they like to live in pairs?

DannyScene

6,596 posts

154 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
quotequote all
SpeckledJim said:
DannyScene said:
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.
Eh what the hell was she trying to say?
Guessing she misread a sign on the cage that said they like to live in pairs?
Ohhh of course!

irocfan

40,152 posts

189 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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Pothole said:
Dennis99 said:
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"
Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war. biggrin
The woods are lovely, dark and deep...
that reminds me of the Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch.

simoid

19,772 posts

157 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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DannyScene said:
Ohhh of course!
hehe

A bit like the old joke about the boy looking round the zoo for "Dangeroos" (rhymes with kangaroos)


Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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Dennis99 said:
Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war. biggrin
Listen veeri carfully, I shall zay zis onli once.


Nimby

4,572 posts

149 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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simoid said:
hehe

A bit like the old joke about the boy looking round the zoo for "Dangeroos" (rhymes with kangaroos)

You reminded me of this, where a serif font might be better:



Pothole

34,367 posts

281 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
quotequote all
irocfan said:
Pothole said:
Dennis99 said:
C.A.R. said:
Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"
Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war. biggrin
The woods are lovely, dark and deep...
that reminds me of the Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch.
I suspect that was in part inspired by the film that line's from.

simoid

19,772 posts

157 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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Mrs S:

"The mind baffles."


Willy Nilly

12,511 posts

166 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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I went to see a friend on Tuesday that is undergoing chemotherapy and gave her a hand washing up while she's feeling iffy. She's bit of a leftie and started talk about KFC for some reason that escapes me. I interjected that another friend of mine supplies chickens to KFC to which she though he had a few chucks clucking arond his yard "no, he has 30,000 in a shed". "oh".