Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Tycho]

In bed last night reading The Martian on my Kindle and the missus get in and asks me what I'm reading. i explain that it is about a manned mission to Mars and one of them is thought to be dead when they have to evacuate due to a sandstorm. NASA then find out that he is alive and he is trying to survive on Mars.

She looks at me and asks "Is it a true story?"

Me:
Her
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:

[R8VXF]

Getting into bed the other night:

Her: Do you have to take up half the bed?
Me: Yes, as is my right to do so
Her: You know what I mean!

[simoid]

Blown2CV said:

onyx39 said:

Mrs's has been driving around on a spacesaver on the Zr for a couple of weeks after getting a puncture.
She's had three punctures so far this year.
Said to her this morning, why don't you pop into a tyre fitters on the way home from work on Monday, and see if it's repairable?
"It's definitely a new tyre needed"
How can you be so sure I asked, we've manage to have punctures repaired before?
"I drove from x to y , then from a to b" (a total of about 4 miles including many speed bumps"
Me: Ffs... Why?
"I wasn't sure if I had a puncture"

If say partly classic from the Mr there. If she's had 3 punctures that might suggest repairing the tyre isn't really the best idea. This is PH after all.

Perhaps the Mrs has a vehicle with more than one tyre, or generally replaces the tyre on her unicycle

[vx220]

Approaching Dartford Bridge yesterday, MrsVX220 has just paid the toll on her phone, puts it away and says "got any change for the crossing?"

[Cotty]

Scousefella said:

Went to bed last night at half time of the England ladies game vs Norway.

Just got home and said to the Mrs.................

"Should have stayed up and watched the game, England won!!!
Norway scored first, England then equalised and managed to follow it up with the winner."

Ah right she said, what was the final score then?

To be fair she might have got it confused with the recent England ladies game where England was drawn, scored the last goal but lost.

[Targarama]

doogz said:

Trying to get from Leicester Square to Waterloo at the weekend

Me - "That'll be the Northern line then"

Her - "No, it can't be, we're going South"

LOL! Mine isn't much better. I just had a call asking why all the trains leaving from the station are 'Southern trains' (not that I'm anywhere near but you know how they are!). She had travelled down from the Midlands to Euston, then Victoria line to Victoria station, visited somewhere, walked back to Victoria (5 mins walk) and stood there trying to work out where Virgin trains were. Er...

I'm trying to make her more aware of her surroundings, and not really winning :-(. I regularly get calls while she's driving routes she has been on before

Her: I'm on the way home now
Me: Whereabouts are you?
Her: I don't know, on the motorway somewhere
Me: Have you passed <town> or <services> yet?
Her: i told you I don't know where I am, Oh I can see Junction 6 coming up now
Me: Which motorway?
Her: I don't know!
Me: OK, how far does TomTom say to destination?
Her: xx miles (so I now know roughly where she is from my own superpowers)
Me: So you must have passed Peterborough then
Her: I don't know
It could go on forever...

She still needs her Tomtom for journeys she's made dozens of times too...

She is actually a good driver, a bit overcautious sometimes but better than being reckless.

[kowalski655]

My wife can't drive but still can't recognise places she has been pasrt a hundred times,and wonders where we are. I have been here exactly the same number of times,and know!

And yesterday,discussing getting a book for our son she suggested we get it from "Weatherspoons"!!!

[onyx39]

simoid said:

Blown2CV said:

onyx39 said:

Mrs's has been driving around on a spacesaver on the Zr for a couple of weeks after getting a puncture.
She's had three punctures so far this year.
Said to her this morning, why don't you pop into a tyre fitters on the way home from work on Monday, and see if it's repairable?
"It's definitely a new tyre needed"
How can you be so sure I asked, we've manage to have punctures repaired before?
"I drove from x to y , then from a to b" (a total of about 4 miles including many speed bumps"
Me: Ffs... Why?
"I wasn't sure if I had a puncture"

If say partly classic from the Mr there. If she's had 3 punctures that might suggest repairing the tyre isn't really the best idea. This is PH after all.

Perhaps the Mrs has a vehicle with more than one tyre, or generally replaces the tyre on her unicycle

She rarely drives when we are out together, but I suspect that the regular meetings with the kerb she has when I've been in the car are the reason.

[Spiffing]

Texts to a friend today:

Me: Where shall we meet tonight
Her: I fancy Eat and Mess, where would serve that?
Me: That's a new one on me!
Her: What??? It's a classic!
Me: Nope, what is it?
Her: Strawberries, meringue and cream.
Me: haha, it's Eton Mess, not Eat and Mess!
Her: I thought you were joking and just Googled it. I'm so stupid!

[R8VXF]

[Hooli]

Spiffing said:

Texts to a friend today:

Me: Where shall we meet tonight
Her: I fancy Eat and Mess, where would serve that?
Me: That's a new one on me!
Her: What??? It's a classic!
Me: Nope, what is it?
Her: Strawberries, meringue and cream.
Me: haha, it's Eton Mess, not Eat and Mess!
Her: I thought you were joking and just Googled it. I'm so stupid!

[Billsnemesis]

kowalski655 said:

My wife can't drive but still can't recognise places she has been pasrt a hundred times,and wonders where we are. I have been here exactly the same number of times,and know!

And yesterday,discussing getting a book for our son she suggested we get it from "Weatherspoons"!!!

I suggest very extensive research to prove that they don't sell books, of any description, at any price, at any time of the day or night in any of their many establishments.

Of course you can't go in and not by SOMETHING.

[vanordinaire]

Not the Mrs this time, this was me, it must be catching...

Wife- 'Laura (our niece) is of to Poland tonight'
Me- 'Where is she flying from?'
Wife- 'She's not flying, she's going by ferry'
Me- ' Oh, I didn't know you could get a ferry to Poland, where does it sail from?'

The really stupid thing is I've been there before.

[wack]

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

[Meoricin]

wack said:

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

You mean like a gas leak, through one of the appliances plumbed into the gas?

[ManFromDelmonte]

wack said:

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

So you're saying the gas fire can't leak unless it is on?

[Hooli]

ManFromDelmonte said:

wack said:

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

So you're saying the gas fire can't leak unless it is on?

What he said was you can't get gas produced by partial combustion, unless something is burning.

[ukbabz]

ManFromDelmonte said:

So you're saying the gas fire can't leak unless it is on?

Carbon monoxide is caused by incomplete combustion of natural gas (hydrocarbon)...

Normal combustion
hydrocarbon + oxygen → carbon dioxide + water

Incomplete combustion
hydrocarbon + oxygen → carbon monoxide + carbon + water

[PoleDriver]

ManFromDelmonte said:

wack said:

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

So you're saying the gas fire can't leak unless it is on?

Correct, we call that an explosion!

[ManFromDelmonte]

PoleDriver said:

ManFromDelmonte said:

wack said:

I had a headache last week, my wife said, what's wrong

Oh nothing, just a headache

I've got a headache too, we should get that gas fire looked at, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning

I looked at her with disbelief, er you do realise the fire has to be on to get carbon monoxide poisoning

Does it

Yes, if it's not on its called a gas leak

So you're saying the gas fire can't leak unless it is on?

Correct, we call that an explosion!

Fair enough, I hold my hands up, I wasn't really concentrating.

Not really a "classic" from the Mrs though I would argue.