Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[grumpy52]

From my nephews fiance "What meat is in a pork pie ?"

[dingg]

grumpy52 said:

From my nephews fiance "What meat is in a pork pie ?"

that'll be fiancee , unless he's a bender that is

[mollytherocker]

dingg said:

grumpy52 said:

From my nephews fiance "What meat is in a pork pie ?"

that'll be fiancee , unless he's a bender that is

Tut tut. A space before the comma and no full stop! Preach thee not!

[CanAm]

grumpy52 said:

From my nephews fiance "What meat is in a pork pie ?"

In many cases a valid question, and one you'd probably be happier not knowing the answer to.

[Cotty]

CanAm said:

In many cases a valid question, and one you'd probably be happier not knowing the answer to.

Horse pie?

[skilly1]

Girl in the office - 'Can I have a black coffee with milk in it'

[SilverSixer]

skilly1 said:

Girl in the office - 'Can I have a black coffee with milk in it'

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

[rsbmw]

gowmonster said:

SpeckledJim said:

Issi said:

gowmonster said:

Nimby said:

Question on University Challenge yesterday: "What SI unit is formed from the first letter of the capitals of Cuba and Croatia?"

Mrs (who is only half watching) says "Cubic Centimetre - that was easy".

So is it Coulomb or Celsius?

The capital cities of both Cuba and Croatia - not the larger shaped letter at the front of the word.

What's the capital of France?

"F"

Oh FFS, that why my head Hertz....

I think half a point is in order for knowing what an SI unit is, and then that CC stands for cubic centimetre. My Mrs would have simply stared blankly then asked what an SI unit was.

[mollytherocker]

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

[Vaud]

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

Different drink though. American is an espresso + hot water.

A basic coffee is the filter / drip stuff that is ready to go (and quicker in starbucks, etc) as the cashier will normally get it for you.

[Cotty]

Vaud said:

A basic coffee is the filter / drip stuff that is ready to go (and quicker in starbucks, etc) as the cashier will normally get it for you.

I would just order a white filter coffee. But I prefer tea

[mollytherocker]

Vaud said:

Different drink though. American is an espresso + hot water.

A basic coffee is the filter / drip stuff that is ready to go (and quicker in starbucks, etc) as the cashier will normally get it for you.

Indeed, but espresso coffee is far nicer than filtered stuff. Forcing the water at high pressure though the coffee is a much better method than dripping it through.

[Vaud]

mollytherocker said:

Indeed, but espresso coffee is far nicer than filtered stuff. Forcing the water at high pressure though the coffee is a much better method than dripping it through.

Try an aeropress. I thought it was hype until someone bought me one.

[SilverSixer]

See? This is what I'm on about. All this one-upmanship around coffee and how it's supposed to be prepared. I just want a coffee when I want a coffee and am happy to accept, as with most things, flavour and quality will vary. I don't go around worrying what type of slicing machine makes the best packaged sandwiches, I'm just happy to get a sandwich.

[AngryPartsBloke]

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

A flat white no?

[SilverSixer]

AngryPartsBloke said:

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

A flat white no?

Why the need for the word "flat"?

[mollytherocker]

SilverSixer said:

AngryPartsBloke said:

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

A flat white no?

Why the need for the word "flat"?

No, a flat white is steamed/frothy milk poured over espresso!

[SilverSixer]

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

AngryPartsBloke said:

mollytherocker said:

SilverSixer said:

Now although that sounds silly on the face of it, if I'm ever reduced to buying coffee from a ghastly hole like Starbucks, that's what I always ask for. I just want coffee with a splash of milk, as cheaply as possible. I don't want a latte or whatever other trendy-named concoction they want to sell me at double the price. And I want a small, medium or large one depending on the mood - I don't want a regular one as I don't want some twerp turning up day after day at the same time with a coffee. I just want one, of a reasonable size, now.

Gah. You've got me going now. Bloody coffeeist nonsense. It's just bleeding coffee.

You need to ask for an small Americano with room for milk. Or if you put your own milk in, just ask for black!

A flat white no?

Why the need for the word "flat"?

No, a flat white is steamed/frothy milk poured over espresso!

AARRRGHH!!!!! I'm going to have a connery, Rodney.

[morgs_]

If only there was a thread on PH for you lot to go and talk about COFFEE

[Bullett]

I always order a black coffee but inevitably get asked if I want milk.

If I had wanted milk I would have asked for a white coffee.

Muppets