Broaching the subject of her weight gain
Discussion
Female perspective here.
If my husband thought I was getting a bit too lardy and said so, in a sensible enough way, I'd probably be cross for a day or two and then get over it, and think twice about eating another row of chocolate.
However, I think the best way to get the point across is to somehow make her think it's her own idea. I like other posters' ideas of you making a point about eating better and exercising for yourself, because quite often that will give someone the impetus to think about whether they're treating their own body the way they'd like.
That said, I would of course be concerned if my husband put on a load of weight, but it wouldn't for a moment change the way I feel about him, because it's not just about physical attributes...
Also important is making sure she knows you love her anyway, regardless. I'd suspect that if she feels like she has to lose weight to please you/keep hold of you, that's only going to backfire in other ways, and you might not see the real effects for some time.
Then again, this all might be entirely too sensible for this thread...
If my husband thought I was getting a bit too lardy and said so, in a sensible enough way, I'd probably be cross for a day or two and then get over it, and think twice about eating another row of chocolate.
However, I think the best way to get the point across is to somehow make her think it's her own idea. I like other posters' ideas of you making a point about eating better and exercising for yourself, because quite often that will give someone the impetus to think about whether they're treating their own body the way they'd like.
That said, I would of course be concerned if my husband put on a load of weight, but it wouldn't for a moment change the way I feel about him, because it's not just about physical attributes...
Also important is making sure she knows you love her anyway, regardless. I'd suspect that if she feels like she has to lose weight to please you/keep hold of you, that's only going to backfire in other ways, and you might not see the real effects for some time.
Then again, this all might be entirely too sensible for this thread...
Grab her hips and tell her you love how cuddly she is! Works for me.
Seriously though, I think the joint effort thing is the way to go, Both start eating healthy, Do you go shopping together? Think carefully about what you put in the basket, salads fruit etc. Do you cook? make smaller portions but say its the same size as what you normally do and say that you are full after eating it.
suggest you walk together instead of taking the car, both go to gym etc.
Seriously though, I think the joint effort thing is the way to go, Both start eating healthy, Do you go shopping together? Think carefully about what you put in the basket, salads fruit etc. Do you cook? make smaller portions but say its the same size as what you normally do and say that you are full after eating it.
suggest you walk together instead of taking the car, both go to gym etc.
Don't for all that is good and holy, say "you're not a thin girl"
What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
james_tigerwoods said:
Don't for all that is good and holy, say "you're not a thin girl"
What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
That's a 'spare room offence' if ever I saw one. What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
Silverbullet767 said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Don't for all that is good and holy, say "you're not a thin girl"
What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
That's a 'spare room offence' if ever I saw one. What I meant: You don't have a skinny persona and that's good because skinny girls are dull and skinny and gaunt and lack all those aspects that a man wants in a woman - And that's what I like in you
What she heard: "Fatty fatty fat fat".
The argument was epic.
Couch or car if she's really mad
Just give up and don't bother is my technique.
I go to the gym 4 times a week and swim several Km along with weights.
She does stretching that she thinks is cardio stuff (Pilates), but hasn't done it for months and eats way too much chocolate.
Her idea is for us to now do badminton... Honestly I have never seen someone f
k about so much to just book it, I have told her my preferred days are Friday evening or get rid of one of my morning swim sessions for it. She knows I do tuesday/wednesday evenings and saturday/sunday mornings in the gym and after 2 days full on I would prefer a day off resting.
Nope not allowed, has to be Thursday evening or saturday/sunday afternoon (after my normal gym routine), so now we are at an impasse as my routine I have been doing for a year should make way for this, she can't understand why I don't want to be exercising all day on one of my days off (sat/sun) or why I think its a good idea to taking an hour at 6pm on Friday then go meet friends (not that we do it often anyway)....
She knew what I wanted and booked Saturday afternoon (she wanted a lie in until midday) apparently she forgot my routine and thought I would be ok with it... Anyway we get onto the day of badminton and she realises that she has no gym kit or suitable trainers, so I have to cancel the court... that was 2 weeks ago and she still has not got off her ass to get any of the kit, even though I went out specially to buy mine.
She's 5ft 10 and 65-67 kg so its not bad, but her definition/tone is disappearing rapidly and being replaced with choccy fat.
As for me, Im 5ft 9 and 85kg, a little better than the 100kg I was a year ago whilst still getting over a broken leg, another few months and I should hopefully be 85kg still but of a lower % fat instead.
I go to the gym 4 times a week and swim several Km along with weights.
She does stretching that she thinks is cardio stuff (Pilates), but hasn't done it for months and eats way too much chocolate.
Her idea is for us to now do badminton... Honestly I have never seen someone f
k about so much to just book it, I have told her my preferred days are Friday evening or get rid of one of my morning swim sessions for it. She knows I do tuesday/wednesday evenings and saturday/sunday mornings in the gym and after 2 days full on I would prefer a day off resting.Nope not allowed, has to be Thursday evening or saturday/sunday afternoon (after my normal gym routine), so now we are at an impasse as my routine I have been doing for a year should make way for this, she can't understand why I don't want to be exercising all day on one of my days off (sat/sun) or why I think its a good idea to taking an hour at 6pm on Friday then go meet friends (not that we do it often anyway)....
She knew what I wanted and booked Saturday afternoon (she wanted a lie in until midday) apparently she forgot my routine and thought I would be ok with it... Anyway we get onto the day of badminton and she realises that she has no gym kit or suitable trainers, so I have to cancel the court... that was 2 weeks ago and she still has not got off her ass to get any of the kit, even though I went out specially to buy mine.
She's 5ft 10 and 65-67 kg so its not bad, but her definition/tone is disappearing rapidly and being replaced with choccy fat.
As for me, Im 5ft 9 and 85kg, a little better than the 100kg I was a year ago whilst still getting over a broken leg, another few months and I should hopefully be 85kg still but of a lower % fat instead.
Go to your local shopping centre and find the biggest, wobbliest behemoth you can find with the same hair style as your Mrs. A perfect one would be a doris with nasty flapping bat-wings and mottled corned-beef hoofs spilling out the top of her shoes.
Then walk up behind her and put your arm round her. Make sure your own lardy burd sees it. Then apologise profusely and say you thought it was your lardy burd.
That should see to it.
Then walk up behind her and put your arm round her. Make sure your own lardy burd sees it. Then apologise profusely and say you thought it was your lardy burd.
That should see to it.
benjj said:
Go to your local shopping centre and find the biggest, wobbliest behemoth you can find with the same hair style as your Mrs. A perfect one would be a doris with nasty flapping bat-wings and mottled corned-beef hoofs spilling out the top of her shoes.
Then walk up behind her and put your arm round her. Make sure your own lardy burd sees it. Then apologise profusely and say you thought it was your lardy burd.
That should see to it.
That's a cracking plan, and then when your real behemoth comes stomping towards you, you can hide behind the fake one Then walk up behind her and put your arm round her. Make sure your own lardy burd sees it. Then apologise profusely and say you thought it was your lardy burd.
That should see to it.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff