Sexlife as parents..frequency. what's 'normal'?
Discussion
As long as both partners are equally matched in the libido department, it doesn't really matter.
When you have very young / demanding kids, I would imagine intimacy drops off for lots of couples - I can certainly relate to that.
But in my experience the feeling was mutual - we were both just frazzled, and sleeping & surviving took top priority. The feelings creep back, though, when life gets back to normal, whatever that is.
As long as one of you isn't climbing the walls, and you can have a giggle between you about the lack of action, it's not an issue.
When you have very young / demanding kids, I would imagine intimacy drops off for lots of couples - I can certainly relate to that.
But in my experience the feeling was mutual - we were both just frazzled, and sleeping & surviving took top priority. The feelings creep back, though, when life gets back to normal, whatever that is.
As long as one of you isn't climbing the walls, and you can have a giggle between you about the lack of action, it's not an issue.
MadVetDriver said:
Was never great at relationships, but have experienced how wonderful sex can be with someone you love deeply. Been living with Mrs MVD 14 years, sex never that great even in the beginning, daughter born in 2005 had sex about 3 times since nothing for as long as I can remember:-(((( On a good week she might consent to a HJ if I'm lucky. To be fair she has a disability which has damaged her hip joints, legs are not very mobile. Relationship is stressed, she has no empathy with frustration I feel, moans that I'm miserable. Feel trapped. Go to sleep most nights longing for closeness I once felt.
True happiness I wish, I wish
Christ mate that sounds a nightmare situation..!!True happiness I wish, I wish
I was at a wedding yesterday and at the end of the night all the single ladies went up to catch the bouquet. There was quite a fight to catch it and the woman who caught it was very happy.
Next the men (including myself) were forced to go up and catch the garter. First of all they struggled to find any men willing to go up. As we were waiting and chatting amoung ourselves, everybody said they didn't want it. Once the groom threw the garter nobody caught it and it just fell to the floor.....
I am in quite a tricky situation having been married before as I have to pretend I buy into the whole happy ever after nonsense when I know the reality is the total opposite.
Happy ever after is not getting married.
Next the men (including myself) were forced to go up and catch the garter. First of all they struggled to find any men willing to go up. As we were waiting and chatting amoung ourselves, everybody said they didn't want it. Once the groom threw the garter nobody caught it and it just fell to the floor.....
I am in quite a tricky situation having been married before as I have to pretend I buy into the whole happy ever after nonsense when I know the reality is the total opposite.
Happy ever after is not getting married.
Joey Deacon said:
I am in quite a tricky situation having been married before as I have to pretend I buy into the whole happy ever after nonsense when I know the reality is the total opposite.
Happy ever after is not getting married.
Easy to say when you're young, it's not all about sex, when you're young, say up to 50 Its easy, if you have money when you're older young women are always available whether they're the paid for type, cheapest, or the live in type , expensive.Happy ever after is not getting married.
If you're really rich you can have supermodels ive in prostitutes that may even marry you but would they be attracted to you if you were a sales assistant at currys, no.
It's when you're older that having somebody your age to talk to and having family is important , I've been married twice, first one lasted 7 years, this one coming up for 20.
I wouldn't want to go through all that dating b
ks again My mum died at 49 in 1985, my dad never remarried and is still alive at 81 and while he's happy with his own company I wouldn't say he's been happy since she died , if he didn't have us he'd have nobody now
wack said:
Joey Deacon said:
I am in quite a tricky situation having been married before as I have to pretend I buy into the whole happy ever after nonsense when I know the reality is the total opposite.
Happy ever after is not getting married.
Easy to say when you're young, it's not all about sex, when you're young, say up to 50 Its easy, if you have money when you're older young women are always available whether they're the paid for type, cheapest, or the live in type , expensive.Happy ever after is not getting married.
If you're really rich you can have supermodels ive in prostitutes that may even marry you but would they be attracted to you if you were a sales assistant at currys, no.
It's when you're older that having somebody your age to talk to and having family is important , I've been married twice, first one lasted 7 years, this one coming up for 20.
I wouldn't want to go through all that dating b
ks again My mum died at 49 in 1985, my dad never remarried and is still alive at 81 and while he's happy with his own company I wouldn't say he's been happy since she died , if he didn't have us he'd have nobody now
Joey, if you were less cynical then maybe you would find some one awesome you'd be happy to spend the rest of your days with.
Whack, plenty of people lose their wifes of many years later on in life and meet another exceptional person to spend their lives with.
I'm single and have had a series of car crash relationships with some great ones in there too. Pretty happy about it to be fair as it's given me a healthy appreciation of the fact that life carries on afterwards.
You can subscribe to this b
ks of 'the one' or realise that there allot of amazing women out there you can spend time with who will set your wolrd on fire - for a night, a year, maybe decades - and there are always others. Every girl is different and that's what makes both being single and in a relationship fantastic (if you let it).
First wife, before kids at it like rabbits. After kids, a couple of times a year.... As some have said, when the sex goes it's a good sign the relationship is doomed.
Current wife, before kids at it like rabbits. After 2 kids, not as frequent - peaks and troughs. Some weeks we'll be at it like teenagers, then we won't manage it for another week or two. One thing I can say though, is although it's maybe less frequent, due to this when we do it's more *ahem* adventurous. I've ticked more things off my list of 'things to do in bed' list in the last year than I have in the last 20.
Current wife, before kids at it like rabbits. After 2 kids, not as frequent - peaks and troughs. Some weeks we'll be at it like teenagers, then we won't manage it for another week or two. One thing I can say though, is although it's maybe less frequent, due to this when we do it's more *ahem* adventurous. I've ticked more things off my list of 'things to do in bed' list in the last year than I have in the last 20.
CountZero23 said:
Whack, plenty of people lose their wifes of many years later on in life and meet another exceptional person to spend their lives with.
My point was more aimed at the Bernie ecclestone end of he market, those who delude themselves that a fat old man of 60 can have a 22 year old girlfriend who'd stick around if the money went .I was 32 when I got divorced and found myself single for the first time in years.
I had a lot of fun for a year or so before I found my wife, I did have much younger women interested , one 19 year old in particular .but at the time all I could see was somebody looking for an easy life so I just brushed her off.
I look back now and think , what a
Monkeylegend said:
So what we have established is that the normal frequency is between nothing for several years and 4 times a day. Well that's put that to bed then.
I knew PH would deliver.
Yes, but reading between the lines (or not needing to, in some posts), the fathers getting it less frequently seem less happy about it, and not for the want of trying. The happiest ones seem to be those with more frequent bed room athletics. What comes first - the happiness or the sex? I knew PH would deliver.
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