a bit council

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HTP99

22,443 posts

139 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Willy Nilly said:
You're 40, you eldest is 21 and youngest is 2. They have different fathers and the eldest is pregnant - Council
I'm 40, eldest is 22 and I have a 20 month old grandson, youngest is 16 though, both the same father (me) and I'm happily married to their mother.

Half Council?!

Dog Star

16,079 posts

167 months

Friday 10th July 2015
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CharlesdeGaulle said:
Wrong.

Austinsmirk offers real insight into the council mentality.

If you want to pick him up on typos, go somewhere else or stop being a dick.
Indeed - I open this thread up mostly for Austinsmirks insights into our burgeoning social underclass; as an ex DWP (Jobcentre) employee I can see where he's coming from.

gkw90

110 posts

134 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Let me share my experience of my ex and her family, who I think ticks most boxes of being "a bit council".

The House
A gate with no fence, bins broken with gloss painted numbers. Front garden overgrown, toys and dog mess everywhere. Back garden had a trampoline the size of a meteor crater. Home-done decking planted directly upon the soil, so wobbly and unstable AF. I think her youngest sister fell through it at some point. There was also a big tent that I think the dog/brother lived in during the summer. Speaking of the Dog, it was a greyhound/ lurcher thing called Sasha which barked at everything and was generally unpleasant.

Inside, standard issue massive TV, crappy photos of the kids and all manner of chav tat. Badly wallpapered or bare walls, with hanging wiring. Interior doors caved in and none of them ever closed properly. Kitchen dirty bordering on unsafe, with that five piece bar optic thing, filled with mystery alcohol bottles bought from 'daaaan the maaaarket'. Bathroom with that attachment to the tap for a shower. Bedrooms had mould in them, the eldest brother was kept up in the attic only accessible by a metal ladder. Inside the room was bedroom not particularly fit for human residence; draft from the roof, bare brick walls, chipboard floors.

The general state of that place, it smelt funny and I never felt clean there, even after a shower.

Neighbours
To the left a family that wouldn't stop swearing, usually had a selection of Sierras/ Escorts in states of repair on the side of the road, the verge, their front garden. How do they get them in there when there's a concrete fence??? To the right was a similar family of "petrolheads", usually involved in breaking cars on the side of the road and generally giving everyone the eye. Astra GSI or some such painted a luminous colour, generally went screeching off into the night at 3am. I once was dropping the ex off at the house after a day out and saw two kids of about five fighting with hacked down scaffolding poles in the road.

The Mother
Six kids from two different fathers, never worked all her life. Had a Proton Wira (the saloon thing) then drove a Renault Scenic, until the transmission fluid needed topping up, so she filled it up on a slope and then wondered why it ate itself the next week. Flogged her my Mondeo (mk3 don't you know), as soon as she got it; attached the "Fairy Dust" and "Princess on Board" signs to the car, along with eyelashes on the front lights, that fell off on the way to Brighton Marina for a family day out in ASDA(s) shouting. The damn thing lasted me two years and within three months she'd destroyed it. My most favourite part is when I got a call from her telling me the 'aaanbrayke cayble 'ad snaaaped' and she had been sitting on a hill waiting to pick up her daughter with the engine and brakes on. SWITCH IT OFF AND PUT IT IN FIRST/ REVERSE. So what did she do? She banged it into first and then said it was my fault she'd lurched forward and hit another car.

What I had against her was that she was a perfectly capable person, but never lifted a finger to help herself, just expected the state and everyone else to help her and seemed almost deliberately ignorant. She was also sick in my car.

The Family
Just the constant shouting. So much shouting. Six kids, typical council names, all abbreviations/ names of things etc. To be fair some of the kids worked, but it always felt like they were working to support their mum's lifestyle. There was no academic encouragement of some seemingly bright kids from her. As a result there was always some trouble in school which was of course never their fault, the youngest ones I felt sorry for as they knew nothing else but this.
They would also make a big deal of going to markets and going to the harvester, in fact I think one of their christenings was in one. Going to see banger racing was genuinely seen as a huge posh event. Went on a holiday with them once to Alicante, never felt so out of my depth in my life.

The Ex
In a nutshell, she didn't trust burgers not from McDonalds and an idea of having a wander around town was going to different poundshops.

A possible way to tell if they're a bit council is: If you marry the person, would you want their family talking to yours at the wedding/ having anything to do with your kids?

If anyone can guess the estate It'd be worth ten Internet Points. smile

ukwill

8,871 posts

206 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
smn159 said:
EggsBenedict said:
Schmy said:
Also thinking that Romani are from Romania.
Eunt Domus?
People called Romani they go the house?
Whoooosh...

toohangry

416 posts

108 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
gkw90 said:
Let me share my experience of my ex and her family, who I think ticks most boxes of being "a bit council".

The House
A gate with no fence, bins broken with gloss painted numbers. Front garden overgrown, toys and dog mess everywhere. Back garden had a trampoline the size of a meteor crater. Home-done decking planted directly upon the soil, so wobbly and unstable AF. I think her youngest sister fell through it at some point. There was also a big tent that I think the dog/brother lived in during the summer. Speaking of the Dog, it was a greyhound/ lurcher thing called Sasha which barked at everything and was generally unpleasant.

Inside, standard issue massive TV, crappy photos of the kids and all manner of chav tat. Badly wallpapered or bare walls, with hanging wiring. Interior doors caved in and none of them ever closed properly. Kitchen dirty bordering on unsafe, with that five piece bar optic thing, filled with mystery alcohol bottles bought from 'daaaan the maaaarket'. Bathroom with that attachment to the tap for a shower. Bedrooms had mould in them, the eldest brother was kept up in the attic only accessible by a metal ladder. Inside the room was bedroom not particularly fit for human residence; draft from the roof, bare brick walls, chipboard floors.

The general state of that place, it smelt funny and I never felt clean there, even after a shower.

Neighbours
To the left a family that wouldn't stop swearing, usually had a selection of Sierras/ Escorts in states of repair on the side of the road, the verge, their front garden. How do they get them in there when there's a concrete fence??? To the right was a similar family of "petrolheads", usually involved in breaking cars on the side of the road and generally giving everyone the eye. Astra GSI or some such painted a luminous colour, generally went screeching off into the night at 3am. I once was dropping the ex off at the house after a day out and saw two kids of about five fighting with hacked down scaffolding poles in the road.

The Mother
Six kids from two different fathers, never worked all her life. Had a Proton Wira (the saloon thing) then drove a Renault Scenic, until the transmission fluid needed topping up, so she filled it up on a slope and then wondered why it ate itself the next week. Flogged her my Mondeo (mk3 don't you know), as soon as she got it; attached the "Fairy Dust" and "Princess on Board" signs to the car, along with eyelashes on the front lights, that fell off on the way to Brighton Marina for a family day out in ASDA(s) shouting. The damn thing lasted me two years and within three months she'd destroyed it. My most favourite part is when I got a call from her telling me the 'aaanbrayke cayble 'ad snaaaped' and she had been sitting on a hill waiting to pick up her daughter with the engine and brakes on. SWITCH IT OFF AND PUT IT IN FIRST/ REVERSE. So what did she do? She banged it into first and then said it was my fault she'd lurched forward and hit another car.

What I had against her was that she was a perfectly capable person, but never lifted a finger to help herself, just expected the state and everyone else to help her and seemed almost deliberately ignorant. She was also sick in my car.

The Family
Just the constant shouting. So much shouting. Six kids, typical council names, all abbreviations/ names of things etc. To be fair some of the kids worked, but it always felt like they were working to support their mum's lifestyle. There was no academic encouragement of some seemingly bright kids from her. As a result there was always some trouble in school which was of course never their fault, the youngest ones I felt sorry for as they knew nothing else but this.
They would also make a big deal of going to markets and going to the harvester, in fact I think one of their christenings was in one. Going to see banger racing was genuinely seen as a huge posh event. Went on a holiday with them once to Alicante, never felt so out of my depth in my life.

The Ex
In a nutshell, she didn't trust burgers not from McDonalds and an idea of having a wander around town was going to different poundshops.

A possible way to tell if they're a bit council is: If you marry the person, would you want their family talking to yours at the wedding/ having anything to do with your kids?

If anyone can guess the estate It'd be worth ten Internet Points. smile
I bet she was filthy but you are now council too by association I'm afraid. There's far too much detail/holidaying going on there to be able to excuse it as a fkbuddy and so I see all of that up there as your social circle now. A shame as you can actually type normally but I don't make the rules.

nicanary

9,751 posts

145 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
We've got the Twelfth weekend coming up in Norn Irn, so "Council" take over the country for a few days.

Great pics in today's papers (probably only NI issues) of the bonfires being built by feral youths, no elf 'n safety as they clamber up 100 feet of wobbly stacked pallets. Gangs of tracksuited men drinking openly beside "no drinking " signs.

Classic murder yesterday. A prominent member of a paramilitary gang slain by a mate.
Council estate - check
Drunken party - check
Victim has puerile "gang" name - check
Samurai sword used - check

I'm just waiting for the homilies from friends and neighbours, scared to say anything else. "He was a wonderful father, a great mate, diamond geezer (sorry, wrong lingo), do anything for you, will be greatly missed, led a colourful life, wouldn't have wanted to go any other way........."

StressedEric

2,976 posts

175 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Actually it is.... People called Romanes they go the house?

EggsBenedict

1,770 posts

173 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
StressedEric said:
Actually it is.... People called Romanes they go the house?
Yeah, but come on - it was good opportunism...

smn159

12,448 posts

216 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
EggsBenedict said:
StressedEric said:
Actually it is.... People called Romanes they go the house?
Yeah, but come on - it was good opportunism...
Ok write it out 100 times. If it's not done by sunrise...

austinsmirk

5,597 posts

122 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Well yesterday we attended my 5 yr old daughters school for some large outdoor event. There was also an evening one.

Perhaps 500/600 patents were sat on grass banking watching the children sing and do says etc

I was amazed at the minority of parents boozing away. This is at 1.45 pm at a primary school. Before you say rough school : it's the highest offsted rated school in the city and in probably one of the most affluent areas too.

Needed to say they were seriously council , tattoo covered and mostly hippo sized wives.

But honesty, I'm amazed. In the evening some of there were still at, wandering round, cans in hand.

We queued so the kids could have a go on a fire engine. Bloke in front had a giant litre bottle of Stella. Even fire men were glancing around at the nutter as he clambered over the cab with his beer.

Don't get wrong, I recall plenty of boozing from parents at my old school, but it was pimms on the school terrace whist the rugby, cricket went on, with teenagers playing. Not slugging carling in front of five year olds.



northwest monkey

6,370 posts

188 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Willy Nilly said:
Early L322 Range Rovers - Council
The model before that with the lights converted so they look like the L322 - that's council.

Found one - a "W" reg Range Rover "Sport"...



To be seen outside a Bright House very soon...

PurpleTurtle

6,940 posts

143 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
gkw90 said:
Let me share my experience of my ex and her family, who I think ticks most boxes of being "a bit council".

The House
A gate with no fence, bins broken with gloss painted numbers. Front garden overgrown, toys and dog mess everywhere. Back garden had a trampoline the size of a meteor crater. Home-done decking planted directly upon the soil, so wobbly and unstable AF. I think her youngest sister fell through it at some point. There was also a big tent that I think the dog/brother lived in during the summer. Speaking of the Dog, it was a greyhound/ lurcher thing called Sasha which barked at everything and was generally unpleasant.

Inside, standard issue massive TV, crappy photos of the kids and all manner of chav tat. Badly wallpapered or bare walls, with hanging wiring. Interior doors caved in and none of them ever closed properly. Kitchen dirty bordering on unsafe, with that five piece bar optic thing, filled with mystery alcohol bottles bought from 'daaaan the maaaarket'. Bathroom with that attachment to the tap for a shower. Bedrooms had mould in them, the eldest brother was kept up in the attic only accessible by a metal ladder. Inside the room was bedroom not particularly fit for human residence; draft from the roof, bare brick walls, chipboard floors.

The general state of that place, it smelt funny and I never felt clean there, even after a shower.

Neighbours
To the left a family that wouldn't stop swearing, usually had a selection of Sierras/ Escorts in states of repair on the side of the road, the verge, their front garden. How do they get them in there when there's a concrete fence??? To the right was a similar family of "petrolheads", usually involved in breaking cars on the side of the road and generally giving everyone the eye. Astra GSI or some such painted a luminous colour, generally went screeching off into the night at 3am. I once was dropping the ex off at the house after a day out and saw two kids of about five fighting with hacked down scaffolding poles in the road.

The Mother
Six kids from two different fathers, never worked all her life. Had a Proton Wira (the saloon thing) then drove a Renault Scenic, until the transmission fluid needed topping up, so she filled it up on a slope and then wondered why it ate itself the next week. Flogged her my Mondeo (mk3 don't you know), as soon as she got it; attached the "Fairy Dust" and "Princess on Board" signs to the car, along with eyelashes on the front lights, that fell off on the way to Brighton Marina for a family day out in ASDA(s) shouting. The damn thing lasted me two years and within three months she'd destroyed it. My most favourite part is when I got a call from her telling me the 'aaanbrayke cayble 'ad snaaaped' and she had been sitting on a hill waiting to pick up her daughter with the engine and brakes on. SWITCH IT OFF AND PUT IT IN FIRST/ REVERSE. So what did she do? She banged it into first and then said it was my fault she'd lurched forward and hit another car.

What I had against her was that she was a perfectly capable person, but never lifted a finger to help herself, just expected the state and everyone else to help her and seemed almost deliberately ignorant. She was also sick in my car.

The Family
Just the constant shouting. So much shouting. Six kids, typical council names, all abbreviations/ names of things etc. To be fair some of the kids worked, but it always felt like they were working to support their mum's lifestyle. There was no academic encouragement of some seemingly bright kids from her. As a result there was always some trouble in school which was of course never their fault, the youngest ones I felt sorry for as they knew nothing else but this.
They would also make a big deal of going to markets and going to the harvester, in fact I think one of their christenings was in one. Going to see banger racing was genuinely seen as a huge posh event. Went on a holiday with them once to Alicante, never felt so out of my depth in my life.

The Ex
In a nutshell, she didn't trust burgers not from McDonalds and an idea of having a wander around town was going to different poundshops.

A possible way to tell if they're a bit council is: If you marry the person, would you want their family talking to yours at the wedding/ having anything to do with your kids?

If anyone can guess the estate It'd be worth ten Internet Points. smile
laugh Wins thread!!

Presumably the daughter went like the clappers for you to overlook all of this for X period of time!?


gkw90

110 posts

134 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
PurpleTurtle said:
laugh Wins thread!!

Presumably the daughter went like the clappers for you to overlook all of this for X period of time!?

Thank you sir!

Well a gentlemen never tells, but as I am now council by association as per the other chap who replied smile - Yeah. A good seven years before I saw the light. I think a mixture of young love, youth and naivety also had something to do with it! Anyway, a good learning experience all round, it was a good motivation to get through college, uni etc so I wouldn't be in that position!

M400 NBL

3,529 posts

211 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Making garden furniture out of pallets.


Morningside

24,110 posts

228 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
gkw90 said:
PurpleTurtle said:
laugh Wins thread!!

Presumably the daughter went like the clappers for you to overlook all of this for X period of time!?

Thank you sir!

Well a gentlemen never tells, but as I am now council by association as per the other chap who replied smile - Yeah. A good seven years before I saw the light. I think a mixture of young love, youth and naivety also had something to do with it! Anyway, a good learning experience all round, it was a good motivation to get through college, uni etc so I wouldn't be in that position!
My ex was roughly the same but the father slept downstairs and the son slept in the same bed as the mother. I am NOT saying anything went on but it was odd.

He was a builder but never at work and the place looked like a building site.

wolfracesonic

6,940 posts

126 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
MajorProblem said:
BrabusMog said:
House extensions that are created by knocking the wall through on a semi.
Also where you have to walk through a bedroom Toilet to get to the bedroom they've added.

gkw90

110 posts

134 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Morningside said:
gkw90 said:
PurpleTurtle said:
laugh Wins thread!!

Presumably the daughter went like the clappers for you to overlook all of this for X period of time!?

Thank you sir!

Well a gentlemen never tells, but as I am now council by association as per the other chap who replied smile - Yeah. A good seven years before I saw the light. I think a mixture of young love, youth and naivety also had something to do with it! Anyway, a good learning experience all round, it was a good motivation to get through college, uni etc so I wouldn't be in that position!
My ex was roughly the same but the father slept downstairs and the son slept in the same bed as the mother. I am NOT saying anything went on but it was odd.

He was a builder but never at work and the place looked like a building site.
Words cannot describe... I mean, are you okay? Was there ever any explanation?

Steve vRS

4,836 posts

240 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
Canadians taking the piss out of council roadside shrines:-

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northame...

Steve

austinsmirk

5,597 posts

122 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
At work I dealt with a young Asian girl who had had a quick arranged marriage before she was deported to Pakistan.

Apparently after new husband had his nuptials on the wedding night, the father then took her into his bed, whilst alongside his wife, it was his turn.

Somehow the brave girl made it out two weeks later and to our housing services for help


In the same vein you wouldn't believe the amount of men/ women imported to the UK purely to marry severely disabled UK Pakistani residents. It's shocking. Young adults who honestly don't know what day of the week it is, let alone having families and thus more disabled children.

Greg_D

6,542 posts

245 months

Friday 10th July 2015
quotequote all
austinsmirk said:
At work I dealt with a young Asian girl who had had a quick arranged marriage before she was deported to Pakistan.

Apparently after new husband had his nuptials on the wedding night, the father then took her into his bed, whilst alongside his wife, it was his turn.

Somehow the brave girl made it out two weeks later and to our housing services for help


In the same vein you wouldn't believe the amount of men/ women imported to the UK purely to marry severely disabled UK Pakistani residents. It's shocking. Young adults who honestly don't know what day of the week it is, let alone having families and thus more disabled children.
And these sad tales of spousal abuse are 'council' how?????
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