Army quotes....

[TwigtheWonderkid]

StuntmanMike said:

Or you could try ' fking fkers fking fked ' that's an old Army quote.

"That fking fker's fking fked" is attributed to Liverpool & England footballer Phil Neal.

[lockhart flawse]

According to my platoon sergeant - bullst baffles brains. Never really understood it though......

And from my CSM at Sandhurst - we'll have you looking as smart as carrots please gentlemeeeen. Use that with my kids

RCT - rubbish carts and trolleys.

[mybrainhurts]

General Melchett: [on catching the spy] Yes, three weeks to smoke the bugger out. Use any method you see fit. Personally, I'd recommend you get a hold of a cocker spaniel, tie your suspect down on a chair with a potty on his head, then pop his todger between two floury buns and shout "Dinner time, Fido!"

[anonymous-user]

"if its not raining, its not training"

[campermanj]

ROMFT... Roll on my f... Ing time

[Nords]

You're in your own time now Gentlemen, work hard, get off early...

Hands off cocks, on socks!

[anonymous-user]

Why dig-in when you can check in?

Never pass food, fuel or porcelain.

Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 4th March 21:53

[Scousefella]

Pull up a sandbag................

F*cking Sprog.

Late for parade, you are on panbash at the mess function this weekend.

[R8VXF]

SAS - Saturday's and Sundays (TA)
STABS - Stupid TA bds
ARABS - Arrogant Regular Army bds
REMF- Rear Echelon Mother fkers (REME etc)

[dorme]

suck it up, princess!

schimfing - constant use that one

scrotes! (for recruits)

Crab air - for RAF (also, the RAF are contantly reffered to as those guys in the flip-flops)

[soad]

"Pick up the log!"
"Too slow...do it again"

[nicanary]

A sergeant-major was reprimanded by the CO for lacking empathy when advising other ranks of a bereavement in their family. On parade, he would shout "Smith, yer muvver's dead!"

Seeking a different tack, the next time he needed to advise someone, he called the order "All men with mothers still alive, one step forward!" "Smith, where d'ye think you're goin'!?"

[Hilts]

Some army guy with a cap that covered his eyes was trying to teach us drill(I think it's like marching and st) when I was in the UAS.

He kept saying 'Ya dite, ya dite, ya dite.'

True dat.

[McSam]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

StuntmanMike said:

Or you could try ' fking fkers fking fked ' that's an old Army quote.

"That fking fker's fking fked" is attributed to Liverpool & England footballer Phil Neal.

You can extend it when someone has broken something which belongs to you.

"Some fking fker's fking fked the fking fker!"

Shame I was too slow to get REMF in, that's one of my favourites.

[Dr Jekyll]

The Guards officer who explained that his unit's function in battle was
"to raise the tone of what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl'.

[dai1983]

lockhart flawse said:

According to my platoon sergeant - bullst baffles brains. Never really understood it though......

If something is done to a less than decent standard but looks amazing, people will look at it and think it's amazing. That's my take on it anyway.

[sparkythecat]

This thread is beginning to read like the'Humour in Uniform' pages from Readers Digest

[dai1983]

iacabu said:

"Gen?"

The Marines, not army but it was the standard response to pretty much anything.

See also eyebrows/robocop/terry nutkins/Phyco sidies/mo molam when your integrity has been found lacking and you must restyle your hair to the selected choice.

"If you can lay on it, you can lay in it"

"Where the Army goes, the pong goes" hence why the other services especially the Marines refer to members of the army as pongoes.

Mostly Marine i know.

[ofcorsa]

I was once told

"Sympathy is a just a word that falls in between st and syphilis in the dictionary"

[jogon]

Gopwo - Grosely over promoted warrant officer.

Preparation prevents piss poor performance.