How to save using toilet paper

[RizzoTheRat]

Is this just an updated version of a bidet?

Morningside said:

Why am I be reminded of that "tampax inserter" joke.

A mate at uni's first graduate job was designing bits for a mechanical tampon insertion machine*













* To insert them in to the packaging machine, what the hell were you thinking of?

[21TonyK]

My Mrs would never be off the damn thing with a "pulsating feminine wash" facility!

[BRISTOL86]

I hope you gave it a good clay and polish after to really accentuate the shine!

[Sump]

It's amazing how uncultured some people are.

[PurpleTurtle]

'Oscillating, pulsating or rhythm' is yet one more tech dilemma to add to 'Facebook, Twitter or PH' to spend one's time when having a morning constitutional!

[benjj]

I got hooked on the full power enema setting on one of these. Frankly my hoop had never been quite as clean or as tingly. Think I also managed to finally shift the detritus of that massive ribeye I had in NY a few years ago too.

[Scousefella]

I could imagine using this whilst as fissed ass a part, putting the pressue on full, adjusting the nozzle and then having some khazi combat - high pressure water vs Vindaloo.

Oh now that would be messy!!!

[eskidavies]

I work for a builder who refurbs houses,a while back he asked me to take a look at this fancy toilet,explained the previous occupier had the work done an unfortunately passed away it was Hardley used,quick google found this
http://www.healthandcare.co.uk/bidets/geberit-aqua...
I took it out and told him to store it carefully at his lockup ,as it ain't cheap,so if anyone wants one he'll prob let it go for a few hundred,

[g3org3y]

Many of the hotel room toilets we encountered in Japan had similar functions.



Enema function seems a bit 'keen'.

[dudleybloke]

So did you enjoy your rhythmic enema?

[Stoatman]

Sharing the nozzle ?!, ahhhhhhhhhhahhhh

[Krupp Stahl]

Rawwr said:

So what happens if you put the water pressure to maximum, select the enema function and then change the nozzle angle to something awkward? Do you lose your kidneys?

Brown water comes out of your nostrils.

[ShiningWit]

Whilst we're on the topic (well kind of), does anyone count off the number of sheets they use per wipe?

[Leptons]

In answer to the title, dump your girlfriend.

A bog roll used to last me a month before she moved in.

Edited by Leptons on Sunday 29th March 23:56

[Oakey]

ShiningWit said:

Whilst we're on the topic (well kind of), does anyone count off the number of sheets they use per wipe?

Sheets? I count in rolls

[grumbledoak]

Corpulent Tosser said:

Install one of these.
It was in a hotel I stayed in recently and it took me a couple of days to get the courage to try it, I used the posterior wash and dry functions, I didn't even think about using the enema one

"Posterior Wash" being rather clearly of a posterior, it took me a while to work the "Feminine Wash" picture out...

[Oakey]

grumbledoak said:

"Posterior Wash" being rather clearly of a posterior, it took me a while to work the "Feminine Wash" picture out...

It's clearly someone bending over looking between their legs at their bits?

[Silent1]

grumbledoak said:

Corpulent Tosser said:

Install one of these.
It was in a hotel I stayed in recently and it took me a couple of days to get the courage to try it, I used the posterior wash and dry functions, I didn't even think about using the enema one

"Posterior Wash" being rather clearly of a posterior, it took me a while to work the "Feminine Wash" picture out...

She's clearly giving birth, what else could it be?

[ShiningWit]

Oakey said:

ShiningWit said:

Whilst we're on the topic (well kind of), does anyone count off the number of sheets they use per wipe?

Sheets? I count in rolls

You're a woman who needs a bidet.