Potential end of a 7 year relationship...
Discussion
iambeowulf said:
Also, maybe stop trying to be a charlie big bananas and just have some dignity?
Start by taking that cringey Job description out of your profile. No one gives a toss and 95% of PH'ers wont even read your profile anyway!
Be thankful you're not an estate agent.
That is it. Stop "trying" to be Charlie big potatoes. Start by taking that cringey Job description out of your profile. No one gives a toss and 95% of PH'ers wont even read your profile anyway!
Be thankful you're not an estate agent.
I've removed the job title, you have a point there.
I wanted to be an Estate Agent before getting into recruitment!
SteveS Cup said:
lord trumpton said:
Relationships from an early age don't often last. Just move on a find another bird in the trees. She's probably been shagging someone else anyway 
Lol, I'm in good spirits this morning and know that's not true so I can laugh about it!VX Foxy said:
She's like this and you're not even living together? WTF is she going to be like if (dog forbid) you ever get a joint mortgage?
This is going to end badly...
That's what I have been trying to tell the OP but to no avail.This is going to end badly...
It is very frustrating when you have experienced similar things yourself many years previously, only you watch your siblings make the same mistakes. Unfortunately that is the only way people learn I suppose.
SteveS Cup said:
iambeowulf said:
Also, maybe stop trying to be a charlie big bananas and just have some dignity?
Start by taking that cringey Job description out of your profile. No one gives a toss and 95% of PH'ers wont even read your profile anyway!
Be thankful you're not an estate agent.
That is it. Stop "trying" to be Charlie big potatoes. Start by taking that cringey Job description out of your profile. No one gives a toss and 95% of PH'ers wont even read your profile anyway!
Be thankful you're not an estate agent.
I've removed the job title, you have a point there.
I wanted to be an Estate Agent before getting into recruitment!
I never thought anyone could want to be an estate agent. live and learn.
Well good start. Try not to wrapped up in all this bulls
t modern Facebookery look-how-happy-I-Am-here's-a-picture-of-my-big-car/friends enjoying an amazing time/new desk pencil sharpener blush blah blah. First off is to except and love yourself. If other people like you on your journey then so be it. As long as you treat people as you'd like to be treated you shouldn't give a toss if some people don't like you. There're not worth your effort.
Wear sunscreen.
Timmy40 said:
DanielSan said:
Have we got to the point where someone suggests the OP is an abusive alcoholic yet? If not I'll be back later.
Not yet, we haven't even got onto religion either. Still woulnd't be as bad as the poor sod who found out the loving wife and mother to his children had been servicing three of his best mates. That one is going to be hard to top.
lord trumpton said:
Relationships from an early age don't often last. Just move on a find another bird in the trees. She's probably been shagging someone else anyway
This man is a ballbag, ignore him.Sounds like you have it sorted now mate, well done. Really pleased you've sorted it.
CountZero23 said:
Still woulnd't be as bad as the poor sod who found out the loving wife and mother to his children had been servicing three of his best mates. That one is going to be hard to top.
If that was his best mates, I wonder what his average mates were doing? As for his enemies, one shudders to think...Can't find the thread right now, think it was by a guy who goes by TallShyKnight or something like that.
Started off as all these do...
'She's not like that, I KNOW there's no one else involved", then inevitably more and more indiscretions came to light all with a various 'friends' - some married.
Seems like when things go south allot fo guys bury their head in the sand while the mrs starts looking for new shiny options. Often with rampant success.
Started off as all these do...
'She's not like that, I KNOW there's no one else involved", then inevitably more and more indiscretions came to light all with a various 'friends' - some married.
Seems like when things go south allot fo guys bury their head in the sand while the mrs starts looking for new shiny options. Often with rampant success.
Edited by CountZero23 on Tuesday 31st March 16:35
My GF and I had the diet version of the OP's post.
basically we are now in early 30's (she's 30 this year, i'm 33 in june) and I am going to be asking her to marry me this month,
However a couple of years ago she knew I had about £4k of debt on credit cards from idiotic spending beyond my means in my early 20's, I had got it down from £10k and she knew I was trying and had changed, and she gave me the £4k to clear the decks. With a proviso that I saved that £4k instead of giving it back to her over time.
Basically your Mrs will be thinking about marriage, house and children and you buying frivolous things (3 DVD's a month, car parts you don't need etc) this just shows you are still trying to live the single mans lifestyle when she will want a man who has cash saved for a rainy day and for paying for kids.
She doesn't love you less or hate you, she is just worried and her hormones will be going mental at the age she is at now, basically screaming HAVE KIDS! and you spending makes it look less secure for her.
HOWEVER! There needs to be a compromise, as saving all your cash and doing nothing will go the other way and you will get sick of the site of each other but not being able to go out now and then, have a hobby etc, its saving a set amount each month, sticking to it, and then having some pennies at the end of the month for a few things for yourself or a few date nights etc.
I have a standing order to pay off the credit card amount I have spent the previous month if its needed, a standing order to save about £450 a month towards wedding, house deposit etc and cash earmarked for all direct debits and bills like food and fuel, council tax etc. That leaves about £200 spare a month after it all for whatever, which is a fair amount.
I make a packed lunch for work, I spend a LOT less on DVD's games or whatever than I used to, its like one Game every 6 months or get Netflix instead of dvd's as its cheaper in the long run if you buy a lot. Also be a bit ruthless with your £10/20 here and there spends, if its things like say an unlimited cinema card and you hardly go now, cancel it, if your mobile phone is only 2 years old, if it still works fine and in decent nick, get a new sim only contract.
Sit down with your GF and plan this out but also explain that you love her, realise you want a future and will sort yourself out, BUT you both need to spend a bit now and then even just on a nice meal out, to keep things from getting a bit stale, if she was similar to your tastes 7 years ago, she will like to spend a little on herself now and then too, so this wont be seen as unreasonable.
Losing a relationship due to squandered £10' and £20's is a crap way to end anything, she obviously likes you, but sort that out, if its still going south, there's something else underlying all of it, but my money is on her being worried you're not fiscally responsible enough for a future with kids!
basically we are now in early 30's (she's 30 this year, i'm 33 in june) and I am going to be asking her to marry me this month,
However a couple of years ago she knew I had about £4k of debt on credit cards from idiotic spending beyond my means in my early 20's, I had got it down from £10k and she knew I was trying and had changed, and she gave me the £4k to clear the decks. With a proviso that I saved that £4k instead of giving it back to her over time.
Basically your Mrs will be thinking about marriage, house and children and you buying frivolous things (3 DVD's a month, car parts you don't need etc) this just shows you are still trying to live the single mans lifestyle when she will want a man who has cash saved for a rainy day and for paying for kids.
She doesn't love you less or hate you, she is just worried and her hormones will be going mental at the age she is at now, basically screaming HAVE KIDS! and you spending makes it look less secure for her.
HOWEVER! There needs to be a compromise, as saving all your cash and doing nothing will go the other way and you will get sick of the site of each other but not being able to go out now and then, have a hobby etc, its saving a set amount each month, sticking to it, and then having some pennies at the end of the month for a few things for yourself or a few date nights etc.
I have a standing order to pay off the credit card amount I have spent the previous month if its needed, a standing order to save about £450 a month towards wedding, house deposit etc and cash earmarked for all direct debits and bills like food and fuel, council tax etc. That leaves about £200 spare a month after it all for whatever, which is a fair amount.
I make a packed lunch for work, I spend a LOT less on DVD's games or whatever than I used to, its like one Game every 6 months or get Netflix instead of dvd's as its cheaper in the long run if you buy a lot. Also be a bit ruthless with your £10/20 here and there spends, if its things like say an unlimited cinema card and you hardly go now, cancel it, if your mobile phone is only 2 years old, if it still works fine and in decent nick, get a new sim only contract.
Sit down with your GF and plan this out but also explain that you love her, realise you want a future and will sort yourself out, BUT you both need to spend a bit now and then even just on a nice meal out, to keep things from getting a bit stale, if she was similar to your tastes 7 years ago, she will like to spend a little on herself now and then too, so this wont be seen as unreasonable.
Losing a relationship due to squandered £10' and £20's is a crap way to end anything, she obviously likes you, but sort that out, if its still going south, there's something else underlying all of it, but my money is on her being worried you're not fiscally responsible enough for a future with kids!
Edited by Rick_1138 on Wednesday 1st April 11:51
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