Idiots at the till

[DeuxCentCinq]

shakotan said:

The Mad Monk said:

R_U_LOCAL said:

About 50% of people will mark their ballot papers, point to the big black ballot box marked "BALLOT BOX" and ask "do I put them in here?"

Yes.

A further 25% will go on to ask "both in the same box?"

Yes. (Can you see another box? There's no other bloody box)

Well, we had two different boxes at my local polling station. Is that because I live in a posh area? Is it just poor people who have only one box?

Ditto.

I actually had to ask this. The staff (they are not volunteers, they get a paid day off work AND paid to man the polling station) were severely lacking in customer service skills, mumbling about what to do with each card, then at the end there were two boxes, with no indication of which one was which.
When I asked I was given an exasperated sigh, and told which one was which as if I was a particularly thick child. While I waited for my wife at least 3 more people asked them, all given the same treatment. Apparently labelling up each box was not a thought that even crossed their mind.

[hairyben]

Trevor450 said:

I suppose it depends on the amount but £60 is a free night for my wife and I and I wouldn't say no. All I do is tick all the boxes that state do not send me stuff/give my information to "carefully selected partners" and I've never had any unwanted junk.

These great offers tend to be less a case of "sign here and here, righty sire, thats £240 instead of £300 then!" and more a case of "spend 45 minutes filling out forms and questionnaires detailing everything from your inside leg to how many times you poop a day then you'll still pay £300 and then we'll send you £60 of vouchers that can only be used on the monday before the 3rd thursday of the month between 9:59 and 10am for money off some tatt we can't sell that you don't particularly want and evan if you did you could get cheaper elsewhere anyway"

Petrol stations get me, the ones where you grab a sandwich and a bottle of lucozade only to be challenged by the oik behind the till that if you got a different sandwich and a different drink you could pay less, who get angry/distressed when you shrug and go "thanks that'll do just fine" and look at you like you've just slapped your dick on the counter and asked for a universal coupler. Yes I COULD get something different but then I COULD go to the nail salon down the street and ask for a fking vajazzal, only I DON'T SODDING WANT ONE I WANT A POXING LUCOZADE so stop treating me like I'm too stupid to buy lunch by myself and sell me one FFS.

[soad]

Lidl checkout operators (correct title, I hope) are the fastest in the world!
What's the rush?! I can't keep up to bag it (and there's little space!).
Have to pinch an empty veg box, for fk's sake!

[All that jazz]

hairyben said:

These great offers tend to be less a case of "sign here and here, righty sire, thats £240 instead of £300 then!" and more a case of "spend 45 minutes filling out forms and questionnaires detailing everything from your inside leg to how many times you poop a day then you'll still pay £300 and then we'll send you £60 of vouchers that can only be used on the monday before the 3rd thursday of the month between 9:59 and 10am for money off some tatt we can't sell that you don't particularly want and evan if you did you could get cheaper elsewhere anyway"

Petrol stations get me, the ones where you grab a sandwich and a bottle of lucozade only to be challenged by the oik behind the till that if you got a different sandwich and a different drink you could pay less, who get angry/distressed when you shrug and go "thanks that'll do just fine" and look at you like you've just slapped your dick on the counter and asked for a universal coupler. Yes I COULD get something different but then I COULD go to the nail salon down the street and ask for a fking vajazzal, only I DON'T SODDING WANT ONE I WANT A POXING LUCOZADE so stop treating me like I'm too stupid to buy lunch by myself and sell me one FFS.

Top rant. Your first paragraph genuinely had me laughing as it's so fking true.

[The Turbonator]

We had a line jumper when at the supermarket yesterday. She barged past my wife and oldest child and inserted her self in front of us. My wife told her that we were actually queueing and that you just barged past me and my son and what she got in return was "I didn't barge past fking nobody and I'm staying here whether you like it or not". Not much you can say back to that really without having a massive argument or brawl in the supermarket. She then called my wife a fat cow which was when I genuinely burst out laughing (think a older version of white dee) and told her that she needs to look in the mirror. She seemed to keep quiet after that.

[Cfnteabag]

soad said:

Lidl checkout operators (correct title, I hope) are the fastest in the world!
What's the rush?! I can't keep up to bag it (and there's little space!).
Have to pinch an empty veg box, for fk's sake!

We have ready had this conversation on the thread! Lidl and Aldi work on the proncipal of throwing your shopping at you, it goes back into your trolley then you move off to the side and pack into bags!

See this is what happens when people come over from posh supermarkets with their space to pack at the till and offers of help!

[bobtail4x4]

R_U_LOCAL said:

Not so much idiots at the till, but at the polling station. Bear with me...

I don't work with the public much these days. I'm a manager for a local authority, so my usual work involves attending meetings, dealing with my staff, writing policies, reports and strategies, setting priorities, organising operations etc. It's all quite civilised really. I do deal with the occasional punter, but they're usually from within one of the trades I deal with so even the difficult customers usually have at least a little knowledge.

But once a year, I join with my local authority colleagues in playing a small part in British Democracy. On election day, I work as a presiding officer at a polling station.

The first thing to consider is that it's a long day. I leave home at 05.30 to collect my ballot box at 06.10 so that I can have my polling station open and ready for the electorate at 07.00am. My clerk and I then have to stay in the polling station, without relief until 22.00, whereupon I have to complete a ballot account, stick various paperwork in various envelopes and then drop my ballot box off at the count. I'm usually away for 23.00 and home for 23.30, so a 19 hour day or thereabouts.

My polling station is in a nice enough area, at a nice primary school, and pretty much everyone who attends to vote is nice and reasonably polite.

But...

It never ceases to amaze me how relentlessly thick people can be. Think about it - many of you voted at the last election - it's not a particularly challenging task, is it? Go in, tell the officer your name and address, collect your ballot papers (two this year - local and parliamentary), take them to the booth, put an X next to your chosen candidate (4 on one ballot and 6 on another), take them to the ballot box and put them in the slot. 2 minutes at most? A couple more if there's a queue?

Here's a small sample of some of my exchanges with voters:

Do I just put an X in the box?

Yes. Put an X in the box next to your chosen candidate.

I've put a tick - does it matter?

No - it's fine.

I've filled it in wrong - can I have another?

Yes - give me your used papers and I'll issue you with new ones.

Have you got a pencil?

They're in the booth.

Can I vote please?

Of course - whats your name and address?

...Gives address somewhere the other side of town.

I'm sorry, this isn't your polling station.

Oh - I thought I could just vote anywhere.

I've filled it in wrong again. Sorry. Can I have another one please?

Yes, give me your spoiled ones - NO! DON'T RIP THEM UP. It's ok - just give me all the pieces.

Gives name and address...

I'm sorry, you've registered for a postal vote so I cannot issue you with a ballot paper.

I haven't asked for a postal vote - here - look at my voting card...

Voting card states "you have registered for a postal vote. Please vote using the pack which will be posted to you seperately".

Well, I definitely didn't ask for a postal vote.

Did you receive a postal vote pack?

I might have done, but I don't open my mail - it's mostly just junk anyway.

Sorry, you'll have to go and look for it.

I can't see Ed Milliband / David Cameroon / Nigel Savage on here?

No - they're the party leaders - you're voting for your local MP.

About 50% of people will mark their ballot papers, point to the big black ballot box marked "BALLOT BOX" and ask "do I put them in here?"

Yes.

A further 25% will go on to ask "both in the same box?"

Yes. (Can you see another box? There's no other bloody box)

And then "should I fold them?"

It doesn't matter.

It's all very British and civilised and we always manage to stay polite and answer every single question, no matter how stupid, but if they ever added one extra hour to a polling day I think I'll stop volunteering.

you forgot the 8 yr old who turns up with mummy with a polling card, the only way she can get on the register is if mummy puts her name on the list, but they always deny it,
oh and the number of times people ask are you here all day?

[carreauchompeur]

Cfnteabag said:

soad said:

Lidl checkout operators (correct title, I hope) are the fastest in the world!
What's the rush?! I can't keep up to bag it (and there's little space!).
Have to pinch an empty veg box, for fk's sake!

We have ready had this conversation on the thread! Lidl and Aldi work on the proncipal of throwing your shopping at you, it goes back into your trolley then you move off to the side and pack into bags!

See this is what happens when people come over from posh supermarkets with their space to pack at the till and offers of help!

Yeah, get with the program. We know the deal at Aldi and you lot slow us up

I absolutely love the speed of Aldi checkouts, kind of like a grocery Tetris.

[jbudgie]

"I absolutely love the speed of Aldi checkouts, kind of like a grocery Tetris. "



It's great, makes you really pissed off when you have to go into one of the 'big four' and have to wait ages to get your stuff.

[Lotus Notes]

I was in Carrefour today and the conveyor belts were pretty small.

I had only placed half my items on it and the lady behind picked up the partition thingy, plonked it just behind my stuff and started placing her items on..I asked her to move so I could finish.

I did 'catch her' with my basket as I put it back. Her husband appeared to be ignoring what was happening.

[br d]

hairyben said:

These great offers tend to be less a case of "sign here and here, righty sire, thats £240 instead of £300 then!" and more a case of "spend 45 minutes filling out forms and questionnaires detailing everything from your inside leg to how many times you poop a day then you'll still pay £300 and then we'll send you £60 of vouchers that can only be used on the monday before the 3rd thursday of the month between 9:59 and 10am for money off some tatt we can't sell that you don't particularly want and evan if you did you could get cheaper elsewhere anyway"

Exactly right Ben.

[karona]

soad said:

Lidl checkout operators (correct title, I hope) are the fastest in the world!
What's the rush?! I can't keep up to bag it (and there's little space!).
Have to pinch an empty veg box, for fk's sake!

Their performance is rated by how quickly they scan stuff.
Too slow and it's a stand-up meeting (no coffee) with HR.

(My sister worked for Lidl, for a week)

[uncinqsix]

steveo3002 said:

same with customs forms , youve sat on the plane bored for hours on end so why not wait until youre in the line at the customs to start filling it out

After one recent flight I was on, several planes had all arrived at the same time so there was a 40 minute queue at customs. This plonker in front of me didn't bother filling in his form until he was right in front of the agent, who promptly sent him right back to the end of the queue for wasting everyone's time. Very satisfying

[Nardies]

Lotus Notes said:

I was in Carrefour today and the conveyor belts were pretty small.

I had only placed half my items on it and the lady behind picked up the partition thingy, plonked it just behind my stuff and started placing her items on..I asked her to move so I could finish.

I did 'catch her' with my basket as I put it back. Her husband appeared to be ignoring what was happening.

I've been to Carrefour loads of times, put my stuff through the till, then on the other side realised they have no bags at all. Annoying.

[goneape]

I'll have to go in with pubs/bars.

3 deep at the bar and there are clowns fking about with the glass wash and polishing the surfaces. I know surfaces need to be kept clean and glasses are necessary, but if there are 3 of you fkers doing it perhaps one or two of you could serve some fking drinks for a few minutes?

People ordering cocktails tying up the only bar server for 5 minutes at a time, when all I want is a beer. bds.

Self service tills, the selfish s who walk up with a trolley load.

Tube gates - not only the lack of a ticket but the fkers who don't have enough credit to get in/out or some other fault, and then stand there trying again and again and again, while the queue mounts behind them so they can't get out and the whole consourse grinds to a halt. Fools.

People who dither in doorways.

[Issi]

From the other side of the bar.

'Pint of lager' - you'll note no use of please!

'Which one would you like, we've got lots of different types'

'Dunno'

And the other really annoying one.

'Two pints of lager please'

'Certainly' is that it?'

'Yes'

Dutifully serves the pints.

'Oh and a pint of Guinness and a glass of wine'

Mutters 'FFS- what wine would you like, we've got lots'

'Dunno'

[Shaolin]

Issi said:

'Which one would you like, we've got lots of different types'

'Dunno'

.....

Mutters 'FFS- what wine would you like, we've got lots'

'Dunno'

I can imagine your frustration. Having been to the bar many times to buy drinks for others with just this information to be met with "which one" with often little indication of what there are available or what difference there is between them I've always been grateful for a suggestion of an inoffensive cheapish one.

On a related note, if any establishment is going to provide a huge choice I think it's reasonable to provide information on what is available rather than expect people to be an expert on their stock. An array of fancy beer pumps with just a name on each tells me fk all.

[Issi]

If you really need somebody to hold your hand and take you through the bewildering array of choices, it might be best if you stayed in with a nice cup of tea.



This is what is usually displayed to the drinker, and so when he asks for 'Lager!', I have to ask 'Which one?'

[RizzoTheRat]

Is there any difference?

[KarlMac]

RizzoTheRat said:

Is there any difference?

Well, ones a cider for a start

Goes back to the old days I think where the brewery would provide one lager and one bitter. Which on depended on the brewery.