What is the answer to wanting stuff?
Discussion
CuckooInMyNest said:
What is the answer to wanting stuff you can't have?
I really, really want a motorbike, and have done for some time, but it is never going to happen for various reasons.
(was an avid biker in an earlier life)
How do you get past the want? Just wait until the feeling goes away or find a way against all the odds?
Can't seem to shake it off.
First world problems *sigh*
It's because your life isn't rewarding enough and you think buying more stuff will make you happy. It won't. I really, really want a motorbike, and have done for some time, but it is never going to happen for various reasons.
(was an avid biker in an earlier life)
How do you get past the want? Just wait until the feeling goes away or find a way against all the odds?
Can't seem to shake it off.
First world problems *sigh*
It's like eating loads of junk but always feeling hungry because you aren't getting enough nutrients.
OP, do yourself a favour and have a good old clear out of your house / flat / garage / loft / cupboards / garden shed etc, then put it all on ebay, it worked for us and paid for more than half the cost of a house extension and some of it went towards buying an unrestored '65 Mk1 Cooper S, one of my 'holy grail' cars. You'd be surprised how much crap you keep tucked away that someone else will gladly pay for. When I look back at all the stuff we've carted from one house move to the next that was never going to see the light of day, I think to myself 'I could have got what I really wanted sooner'. It probably sounds like all I was interested in was the instant gratification but that's not the case - finally being able to buy a car I'd wanted since I was a nipper was a great feeling. Five years ago something happened to me at work which made me wake up and realise that life really is much too short, and as cliched as everyone always says it is, it's so, so true.
Be ruthless, do it! If you don't give it a go you'll look back one day and regret it.
Be ruthless, do it! If you don't give it a go you'll look back one day and regret it.
- I still yearn for a Jensen Interceptor!
*
The question is, where do you stop?
If you went back in time and told the 18 year old me the life I have and the things I would (/have) own(ed) now I would have been absolutely flabbergasted - would truly have been beyond my wildest dreams.
However, there are many, many cars that I'd like to own and will never be able to afford, doesn't stop me dreaming about ways to get into the next one. Current target is an F-430, but barring a lottery win is not likely to happen.
Ultimately I feel I'll always be dreaming about something just out of reach and every now again I'll get a shot of obtaining it. As soon as I do, the next dream will crop up...
If you went back in time and told the 18 year old me the life I have and the things I would (/have) own(ed) now I would have been absolutely flabbergasted - would truly have been beyond my wildest dreams.
However, there are many, many cars that I'd like to own and will never be able to afford, doesn't stop me dreaming about ways to get into the next one. Current target is an F-430, but barring a lottery win is not likely to happen.
Ultimately I feel I'll always be dreaming about something just out of reach and every now again I'll get a shot of obtaining it. As soon as I do, the next dream will crop up...
What are the various reasons?
If the primary one is lack of cash then don't do it and put yourself in debt. You will only regret riding it every time you do so when you think that you're still paying for it and it's probably not worth what you paid for it.
However, i just got my ballistic R1 running right yesterday and will look forward to enjoying it today.
First world problems indeed.
If the primary one is lack of cash then don't do it and put yourself in debt. You will only regret riding it every time you do so when you think that you're still paying for it and it's probably not worth what you paid for it.
However, i just got my ballistic R1 running right yesterday and will look forward to enjoying it today.
First world problems indeed.el stovey said:
It's because your life isn't rewarding enough and you think buying more stuff will make you happy. It won't.
It's like eating loads of junk but always feeling hungry because you aren't getting enough nutrients.
This is the correct answer. It's like eating loads of junk but always feeling hungry because you aren't getting enough nutrients.
I used to be terrible for it, on Rightmove looking at houses and here salivating over cars. Every day. I ended a relationship that was ok but in no way fulfilling and am now far happier. Nowadays I'm not wasting my life looking at things to buy and thinking that they will make me happy. Other people and experiences make you happy, not stuff. Goes a bit beyond buying a motorbike but the question was directed at a more general malaise, yeh op?
CharlieGee said:
el stovey said:
It's because your life isn't rewarding enough and you think buying more stuff will make you happy. It won't.
It's like eating loads of junk but always feeling hungry because you aren't getting enough nutrients.
This is the correct answer. It's like eating loads of junk but always feeling hungry because you aren't getting enough nutrients.
I used to be terrible for it, on Rightmove looking at houses and here salivating over cars. Every day. I ended a relationship that was ok but in no way fulfilling and am now far happier. Nowadays I'm not wasting my life looking at things to buy and thinking that they will make me happy. Other people and experiences make you happy, not stuff. Goes a bit beyond buying a motorbike but the question was directed at a more general malaise, yeh op?
CuckooInMyNest said:
What is the answer to wanting stuff you can't have?
I really, really want a motorbike, and have done for some time, but it is never going to happen for various reasons.
(was an avid biker in an earlier life)
How do you get past the want? Just wait until the feeling goes away or find a way against all the odds?
Can't seem to shake it off.
First world problems *sigh*
Buy a classic bike on finance that it not going to depreciate or might even appreciate. Paying it off over the years is then just like a savings account that you are enjoying as you go along.I really, really want a motorbike, and have done for some time, but it is never going to happen for various reasons.
(was an avid biker in an earlier life)
How do you get past the want? Just wait until the feeling goes away or find a way against all the odds?
Can't seem to shake it off.
First world problems *sigh*
youngsyr said:
That ignores the fact that riding your dream motorbike is an experience that is fulfilling, as is living in a house you lusted over and driving a car you've salivated over.
It short term though. After a brief time you return to your base level of happiness and go back to feeling dissatisfied and wanting more stuff. Like eating chocolate when you're hungry. To answer the OPs question the answer to always wanting stuff is to become more involved in a community, to use some of your money to help other people and to do things that are rewarding. constantly just buying more stuff won't make you any happier. It's fairly basic positive human psychology.
Edited by el stovey on Tuesday 28th April 15:19
el stovey said:
youngsyr said:
That ignores the fact that riding your dream motorbike is an experience that is fulfilling, as is living in a house you lusted over and driving a car you've salivated over.
It short term though. After a brief time you return to your base level of happiness and go back to feeling dissatisfied and wanting more stuff. Like eating chocolate when you're hungry. Have you had kids yet?
I found that after having my two, I now "want" nothing more spohisticated or expensive than a few pints down the pub on a friday night and decent lie-in with a cuppa in bed the next morning.
8 cylinder cars, powerboats, and 4 figure swiss watches have miraculously disappeared off my want list!
I found that after having my two, I now "want" nothing more spohisticated or expensive than a few pints down the pub on a friday night and decent lie-in with a cuppa in bed the next morning.
8 cylinder cars, powerboats, and 4 figure swiss watches have miraculously disappeared off my want list!
youngsyr said:
True, but it's also true that just sitting around accepting your "base level of happiness" is a sure route to depression.
it's not really. Your base level of happiness is a mainly genetic level of happiness that you return to (after a short period) after good or bad things happen to you. It's why people in Africa are actually as, or often more happy (if they have basic needs like food or shelter met) as people in America or Western Europe. Happiness comes meeting basic human needs like being in a community and helping people and doing rewarding stuff. The kind of cooperative behaviour that would make your tribe flourish in the basin of Africa.
Buying houses or cars or motorbikes just gives you short term spikes in happiness then you return to your predetermined level. Money can only really make you happy if you use some of it to help other people.
The trouble often with getting more money is that it often makes you more disconnected from communities. You buy a house away from others, you become a boss rather than a co worker you send your kids to private school and the cycle of dissatisfaction continues.
As I said before, just buying things won't make you happy or satisfied as a human which is what I think the op was asking.
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