Life tips to share........

[Cliftonite]

gubbabump said:

Never refer to your girlfriend as your 'current partner'

Terry seemed to get away with "the present Mrs Wogan"

" I call her that to keep her on her toes"

[Mastodon2]

If think you're not going to make the corner, look at the exit and drop the inside shoulder and don't chop the throttle off. The bike will make it round, if you let it.

[48Valves]

- Trust no one and assume everything is a test.
- Never drink in a pub with a flat roof.
- It is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.*

• Especially if you intend to do the thing you ask permission for anyway.

[Fishtigua]

Mastodon2 said:

If think you're not going to make the corner, look at the exit and drop the inside shoulder and don't chop the throttle off. The bike will make it round, if you let it.

A mate went all wobbly around a round-about, right in front of 2 coppers on bikes.

He went in way too hot, stood the Ducati up and went all agricultural but upright, bits of grass everywhere. The coppers came over to see that he was alright and said "Yep, you did the right thing" and wandered off.

[Asterix]

Cliftonite said:

gubbabump said:

Never refer to your girlfriend as your 'current partner'

Terry seemed to get away with "the present Mrs Wogan"

" I call her that to keep her on her toes"

Indeed - the missus get's a tad snarky when I introduce her as 'my first wife'.

[SirSquidalot]

Lift off over steer is a cruel mistress, never attempt to play with her.

[Smitters]

SirSquidalot said:

Lift off over steer is a cruel mistress, never attempt to play with her.

Yep. Out on a country walk this weekend and stopped to briefly admire the still present dent in a hefty Cotswold stone wall that I used to shorten my MR2 with. Ten years ago next month...

My top tip is if you're planning on using a magnetic knife rack to hold and tidy your keys, make sure your keys will actually stick before attaching said knife rack to the wall, just by the door. It's an otherwise odd place to keep knifes...

[vxr8mate]

Always have a Latin phrase to roll out when required....Quiquid latine dictum sit altum viditur!

[furtive]

vxr8mate said:

Always have a Latin phrase to roll out when required....Quiquid latine dictum sit altum viditur!

Verba quidem de sapiens!

[LordGrover]

celeritate rebus

[PoleDriver]

Non illigitamus carborundum!

[Timmy40]

Finite Incantatem

[geeks]

Never fart as you sit down, you are in effect farting in your own face!

Never trust a fart!

If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it!

Always watch the watchers.

Never drink instant coffee.

Don't lend what you are not prepared to lose.

Lefty loosey, righty tighty, unless its a reverse thread.

If you are not early, you are late!

[rolex]

Never use a budgie as a smoke alarm.The batteries don't fit

[Ritchie335is]

Learn how to tie a bowline knot, handy as feck.
You can even learn to do it one handed if you persevere.

Face-feet-balls-arse, in showering order.

[br d]

Delegate all responsibility, pass all the blame and take all the credit!

[Calza]

Ayahuasca said:

When tying shoelaces, start with 'right over left' and they will never undo themselves.

Does that actually work? My laces are always undoing themselves!

[Ayahuasca]

Calza said:

Ayahuasca said:

When tying shoelaces, start with 'right over left' and they will never undo themselves.

Does that actually work? My laces are always undoing themselves!

Yep. Start with 'right over left'. Then make the loop with the right hand bit for the second part. You are effectively tying a reef knot. Do it the other way and it is a 'granny knot' which as you have experienced easily falls apart.

For even more security, wrap the lace around the loop twice before pulling it through.

[HOGEPH]

Timmy40 said:

curlyks2 said:

Do not keep any two or more of KY Jelly, deep heat and/or superglue in the same draw.

On a similar note, from personal experience, if you've been chopping chilli's DO NOT scratch your nuts, even if you have washed your hands.

Or get frisky with the missus...

[davhill]

vxr8mate said:

Always have a Latin phrase to roll out when required....Quiquid latine dictum sit altum viditur!

Omnes in faecibus sumus, sole profundis variat.