Who's 30+ and has no kids through choice?
Discussion
Baz Tench said:
chryslerben said:
Late to the party but here goes-
No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
Oh god, I can relate to this! No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
I had a 9hr flight back from Mexico last year that was infested with screaming kids, and I mean SCREAMING!!
Not their fault really, I don't think it's fair on them to be plonked on such a long, overnight flight. It's boring enough for adults, let alone kids.
Parents, take 'em to Cornwall or something in the people carrier ffs!
jonny996 said:
Baz Tench said:
chryslerben said:
Late to the party but here goes-
No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
Oh god, I can relate to this! No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
I had a 9hr flight back from Mexico last year that was infested with screaming kids, and I mean SCREAMING!!
Not their fault really, I don't think it's fair on them to be plonked on such a long, overnight flight. It's boring enough for adults, let alone kids.
Parents, take 'em to Cornwall or something in the people carrier ffs!
Baz Tench said:
jonny996 said:
Baz Tench said:
chryslerben said:
Late to the party but here goes-
No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
Oh god, I can relate to this! No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
I had a 9hr flight back from Mexico last year that was infested with screaming kids, and I mean SCREAMING!!
Not their fault really, I don't think it's fair on them to be plonked on such a long, overnight flight. It's boring enough for adults, let alone kids.
Parents, take 'em to Cornwall or something in the people carrier ffs!
chryslerben said:
No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
Agree very much, I'm thoroughly looking forward to my summer holiday this year. I'm not looking forward to being stuck in an enclosed space with screaming kids. Which is a shame because I genuinely love flying. Also the little
s who kick the seats in front should be thrown out, while at altitude, without a parachute. Little sts. 
. DoubleSix said:
Johnny said:
DoubleSix said:
So again, whatever you may think you know about what children entail there is a world you will not see until you are a part of it.
I get what you're saying, and understand where you're coming from. Totally.But what you seem to fail to grasp is that some, maybe many, of us have been in a situation where we've had kids in our lives. We've seen and felt that love, those wonderful heart warming moments.
But still, when it comes down to it, I would not choose that for myself. No matter how nice those moments are, how great they make you feel, they do not out weigh the negative aspects for me.
I am the youngest of three so was positively swamped by children for 10 years prior to having my own. There is a world, ney universe, of difference between "having children in you life" and being their primary carer.
If being a 'primary carer' is what qualifies a man then I would say I'm qualified to comment, to understand, and 'know about what children entail' having spent some years doing just that...
I've been told I would make a great dad, and I'm very good with kids. I still don't want any of my own.
Yet you still seem to hold the view that unless I've have had my own children somehow my opinion is invalid.
I don't concur.
Johnny said:
DoubleSix said:
Johnny said:
DoubleSix said:
So again, whatever you may think you know about what children entail there is a world you will not see until you are a part of it.
I get what you're saying, and understand where you're coming from. Totally.But what you seem to fail to grasp is that some, maybe many, of us have been in a situation where we've had kids in our lives. We've seen and felt that love, those wonderful heart warming moments.
But still, when it comes down to it, I would not choose that for myself. No matter how nice those moments are, how great they make you feel, they do not out weigh the negative aspects for me.
I am the youngest of three so was positively swamped by children for 10 years prior to having my own. There is a world, ney universe, of difference between "having children in you life" and being their primary carer.
If being a 'primary carer' is what qualifies a man then I would say I'm qualified to comment, to understand, and 'know about what children entail' having spent some years doing just that...
I've been told I would make a great dad, and I'm very good with kids. I still don't want any of my own.
Yet you still seem to hold the view that unless I've have had my own children somehow my opinion is invalid.
I don't concur.
Taking on a full time step father role would indeed be primary carer would it not? I used primary carer precisely to include people who aren't the biological parents but have taken on that role, I thought that was obvious.
However, shacking up with women that already has children and 'playing Dad' for a short while would, in my view, not constitute being a stepfather or primary carer. Likewise being a hands-on uncle who has changed the odd nappy and ready a story book or two.
I'm not sure where a stepfather "type" role fits on that spectrum of responsibility (and it doesn't really matter) but no I don't believe being the biological father is what provides the insight I was previously referring to, it's about being responsible for the child and having travelled their journey with them imho.
BrabusMog said:
Baz Tench said:
jonny996 said:
Baz Tench said:
chryslerben said:
Late to the party but here goes-
No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
Oh god, I can relate to this! No intention to have kids as after seeing all the crap my brother has to put up with his 3 offspring I can quite happily say no thankyou. This was confirm yesterday flying back from Ibiza when several families and their screaming poo bomb's also shared the flight making it a 2 hour assault on the ears and patience, why nobodies invented a sedative you can give them before boarding a plane is open to question as it would make everyone elses lives much nicer.
I had a 9hr flight back from Mexico last year that was infested with screaming kids, and I mean SCREAMING!!
Not their fault really, I don't think it's fair on them to be plonked on such a long, overnight flight. It's boring enough for adults, let alone kids.
Parents, take 'em to Cornwall or something in the people carrier ffs!
aww999 said:
According to DoubleSix, the number of people who have had children and then decided they liked things better before should equal zero. This is not true. Therefore, he is full of crap.
Nonsense. I'm sure many of those people exist.My position on this topic is simply:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
B) your life doesn't automatically stop when you have children.
Whereas many here think they know exactly what it would be like for them and that all the things they enjoy would suddenly stop!
From a purely personal point of view, I've not had kids for several reasons.
1. A history of depression. I think it would be selfish to bring a kid into the world knowing it might end up like me.
2. The insecurity of the job market. I've been made redundant twice in 5 years and all the time I worked in child protection there were staff cuts, wage freezes etc. Unless you've got a large slush fund/wealthy spouse/parents it's, IMHO, irresponsible to bring a child into that equation.
3.The two serious relationships I've had been with people who were more interested in their careers. I'd say one had absolutely zero maternal instinct whatsoever.
On a professional level, I spent 10 years working in child protection investigating cases of neglect on learning-disabled children. Trust me when I say that I wish more people chose not to have children. A depressingly large amount are just not suitable as parents.
And before people jumping to conclusions about "dole scroungers" "druggies" etc, you'd be surprised at the amount of seemingly nice, middle- class professionals we came across who couldn't give two f
ks about their kids welfare and were more interested in their career/business.
DoubleSix said:
Nonsense. I'm sure many of those people exist.
My position on this topic is simply:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
B) your life doesn't automatically stop when you have children.
Whereas many here think they know exactly what it would be like for them and that all the things they enjoy would suddenly stop!
We don't care.My position on this topic is simply:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
B) your life doesn't automatically stop when you have children.
Whereas many here think they know exactly what it would be like for them and that all the things they enjoy would suddenly stop!
We don't want children.
We're happy for the fact that you think it's the best thing that's happened to you.
It's not for us and, no matter how many times you tell us we're wrong, we're more than happy with our decision.
Get over yourself.
Roo said:
DoubleSix said:
Nonsense. I'm sure many of those people exist.
My position on this topic is simply:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
B) your life doesn't automatically stop when you have children.
Whereas many here think they know exactly what it would be like for them and that all the things they enjoy would suddenly stop!
We don't care.My position on this topic is simply:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
B) your life doesn't automatically stop when you have children.
Whereas many here think they know exactly what it would be like for them and that all the things they enjoy would suddenly stop!
We don't want children.
We're happy for the fact that you think it's the best thing that's happened to you.
It's not for us and, no matter how many times you tell us we're wrong, we're more than happy with our decision.
Get over yourself.
He or she is an idiot.
jogger1976 said:
From a purely personal point of view, I've not had kids for several reasons.
1. A history of depression. I think it would be selfish to bring a kid into the world knowing it might end up like me.
2. The insecurity of the job market. I've been made redundant twice in 5 years and all the time I worked in child protection there were staff cuts, wage freezes etc. Unless you've got a large slush fund/wealthy spouse/parents it's, IMHO, irresponsible to bring a child into that equation.
3.The two serious relationships I've had been with people who were more interested in their careers. I'd say one had absolutely zero maternal instinct whatsoever.
On a professional level, I spent 10 years working in child protection investigating cases of neglect on learning-disabled children. Trust me when I say that I wish more people chose not to have children. A depressingly large amount are just not suitable as parents.
And before people jumping to conclusions about "dole scroungers" "druggies" etc, you'd be surprised at the amount of seemingly nice, middle- class professionals we came across who couldn't give two fks about their kids welfare and were more interested in their career/business.
There's nowt so queer as folk. I believe your every word. In your position, if not already done so, I'd look for another way to earn a living. Even if that means a salary cut. Been there done that twice with pay cuts but, things improve for the better, far better if you go about it in the right way. No bluddy wonder your "history of depression". Get out ... get out now. No messing. There must be something else less poisonously stressful you could do. 1. A history of depression. I think it would be selfish to bring a kid into the world knowing it might end up like me.
2. The insecurity of the job market. I've been made redundant twice in 5 years and all the time I worked in child protection there were staff cuts, wage freezes etc. Unless you've got a large slush fund/wealthy spouse/parents it's, IMHO, irresponsible to bring a child into that equation.
3.The two serious relationships I've had been with people who were more interested in their careers. I'd say one had absolutely zero maternal instinct whatsoever.
On a professional level, I spent 10 years working in child protection investigating cases of neglect on learning-disabled children. Trust me when I say that I wish more people chose not to have children. A depressingly large amount are just not suitable as parents.
And before people jumping to conclusions about "dole scroungers" "druggies" etc, you'd be surprised at the amount of seemingly nice, middle- class professionals we came across who couldn't give two f
ks about their kids welfare and were more interested in their career/business.MGJohn said:
jogger1976 said:
From a purely personal point of view, I've not had kids for several reasons.
1. A history of depression. I think it would be selfish to bring a kid into the world knowing it might end up like me.
2. The insecurity of the job market. I've been made redundant twice in 5 years and all the time I worked in child protection there were staff cuts, wage freezes etc. Unless you've got a large slush fund/wealthy spouse/parents it's, IMHO, irresponsible to bring a child into that equation.
3.The two serious relationships I've had been with people who were more interested in their careers. I'd say one had absolutely zero maternal instinct whatsoever.
On a professional level, I spent 10 years working in child protection investigating cases of neglect on learning-disabled children. Trust me when I say that I wish more people chose not to have children. A depressingly large amount are just not suitable as parents.
And before people jumping to conclusions about "dole scroungers" "druggies" etc, you'd be surprised at the amount of seemingly nice, middle- class professionals we came across who couldn't give two fks about their kids welfare and were more interested in their career/business.
There's nowt so queer as folk. I believe your every word. In your position, if not already done so, I'd look for another way to earn a living. Even if that means a salary cut. Been there done that twice with pay cuts but, things improve for the better, far better if you go about it in the right way. No bluddy wonder your "history of depression". Get out ... get out now. No messing. There must be something else less poisonously stressful you could do. 1. A history of depression. I think it would be selfish to bring a kid into the world knowing it might end up like me.
2. The insecurity of the job market. I've been made redundant twice in 5 years and all the time I worked in child protection there were staff cuts, wage freezes etc. Unless you've got a large slush fund/wealthy spouse/parents it's, IMHO, irresponsible to bring a child into that equation.
3.The two serious relationships I've had been with people who were more interested in their careers. I'd say one had absolutely zero maternal instinct whatsoever.
On a professional level, I spent 10 years working in child protection investigating cases of neglect on learning-disabled children. Trust me when I say that I wish more people chose not to have children. A depressingly large amount are just not suitable as parents.
And before people jumping to conclusions about "dole scroungers" "druggies" etc, you'd be surprised at the amount of seemingly nice, middle- class professionals we came across who couldn't give two f
ks about their kids welfare and were more interested in their career/business. To be honest, you sound like a patronising judgmental idiot.Cotty said:
DoubleSix said:
A) you can't assess what it is like to be a parent until you are.
On the flip side you can't assess what it is like not to be a parent. Anyway this has become a bit circular. In addition some people (not yourself Cotty) have resorted to just calling anyone who expresses an opinion they don't share an 'idiot' even though they themselves seem incapable of intelligent and reasoned discussion.
I like discussion, debate even, it fires the synapses. At no point have told anyone they would better off if they had a child but simple sought to share my own experiences without being shouted down.
I'm oot!
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