Who's 30+ and has no kids through choice?

[The Moose]

ShiningWit said:

Get the snip, quietly and quickly!

I know someone who did this. After 4 kids (she wanted more). He went away for a "business trip" and came back a few days later apparently.

Eventually told her.

Oh, what a st storm that was

[csd19]

The Moose said:

I know someone who did this. After 4 kids (she wanted more). He went away for a "business trip" and came back a few days later apparently.

Eventually told her.

Oh, what a st storm that was

I like their style

I think I'm going to be in the st either way. Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife, or at least have her going on and on about it until one of us dies. Or say "yes" and lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things. All for some screaming little "bundle of joy".... err poke it!

I'll take my chances - now where did I leave my "grab bag stuffed full of used £20 notes"

[The Moose]

Remember that if she's 40, it's only another circa 10 years you've got to listen to the nagging!

Every cloud and all that!

[ewenm]

csd19 said:

I like their style

I think I'm going to be in the st either way. Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife, or at least have her going on and on about it until one of us dies. Or say "yes" and lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things. All for some screaming little "bundle of joy".... err poke it!

I'll take my chances - now where did I leave my "grab bag stuffed full of used £20 notes"

Seriously though there is no need for you "to lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things". Yes, you'd need to make some compromises but you can still have a life of your own. For example, the OH and I have just been away for a lovely long weekend child-free in a luxury hotel in the Lake District. It's all about planning and using the grandparents/family/friends effectively. Day-to-day we ensure each of us gets some "me time", we still spend money on ourselves, we don't spend all available income on the sprog.

Sure, some people do lose all their life to their child(ren) but that's a choice, not a necessity. I know some people like that; I also know plenty of well-balanced families that have a good family life and a good social life.

[Mafffew]

csd19 said:

I like their style

I think I'm going to be in the st either way. Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife, or at least have her going on and on about it until one of us dies. Or say "yes" and lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things. All for some screaming little "bundle of joy".... err poke it!

I'll take my chances - now where did I leave my "grab bag stuffed full of used £20 notes"

Meet her in the middle and get a dog! Make some compromises if you have to and get one of those ridiculously small fluffy ones. Just don't been seen out walking it by yourself!

[Vacumatic]

I am much older than 30.

Not having children was the biggest regret of my life.

[Mr. Potato Head]

csd19 said:

I like their style

I think I'm going to be in the st either way. Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife, or at least have her going on and on about it until one of us dies. Or say "yes" and lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things. All for some screaming little "bundle of joy".... err poke it!

I'll take my chances - now where did I leave my "grab bag stuffed full of used £20 notes"

Have you always been explicit in the not-wanting-kids-thing throughout the relationship?

[Ari]

csd19 said:

I think I'm going to be in the st either way. Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife, or at least have her going on and on about it until one of us dies. Or say "yes" and lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things. All for some screaming little "bundle of joy".... err poke it!

Love the fact that you think you have a choice!

I don't know what happened love, I've been taking my pill/using my cap/got my coil in/been having my injections. Honest!

[The GMan]

My wife and I were not really bothered about having kids but that changed a few years ago. We had a great life and did anything we wanted to do and basically lived life to the full. However one day my wife said she really would like to start a family and when I thought about it so did I. Our son was born May 2013 and I was 39 (Mrs GMan was 33).

I'm posting this on here now as we just found out yesterday that Mrs GMan is pregnant again and we are both over the moon.

We still have a great life and I hope it will still be great when I'm the father of 2 kids under 3 years old when I'm 42.

[Petrol Only]

Vacumatic said:

I am much older than 30.

Not having children was the biggest regret of my life.

go on...

[Timmy40]

The GMan said:

My wife and I were not really bothered about having kids but that changed a few years ago. We had a great life and did anything we wanted to do and basically lived life to the full. However one day my wife said she really would like to start a family and when I thought about it so did I. Our son was born May 2013 and I was 39 (Mrs GMan was 33).

I'm posting this on here now as we just found out yesterday that Mrs GMan is pregnant again and we are both over the moon.

We still have a great life and I hope it will still be great when I'm the father of 2 kids under 3 years old when I'm 42.

Congratulations

[jonamv8]

ewenm said:

Seriously though there is no need for you "to lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things". Yes, you'd need to make some compromises but you can still have a life of your own. For example, the OH and I have just been away for a lovely long weekend child-free in a luxury hotel in the Lake District. It's all about planning and using the grandparents/family/friends effectively. Day-to-day we ensure each of us gets some "me time", we still spend money on ourselves, we don't spend all available income on the sprog.

Sure, some people do lose all their life to their child(ren) but that's a choice, not a necessity. I know some people like that; I also know plenty of well-balanced families that have a good family life and a good social life.

Using grandparents / family / friends

Do they like being used?? What a terrible expression. No one likes a user!

I love how parents think that your lucky that they have let you look after their child. Theyve not lent you a Ferrari for the day....

[The GMan]

jonamv8 said:

ewenm said:

Seriously though there is no need for you "to lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things". Yes, you'd need to make some compromises but you can still have a life of your own. For example, the OH and I have just been away for a lovely long weekend child-free in a luxury hotel in the Lake District. It's all about planning and using the grandparents/family/friends effectively. Day-to-day we ensure each of us gets some "me time", we still spend money on ourselves, we don't spend all available income on the sprog.

Sure, some people do lose all their life to their child(ren) but that's a choice, not a necessity. I know some people like that; I also know plenty of well-balanced families that have a good family life and a good social life.

Using grandparents / family / friends

Do they like being used?? What a terrible expression. No one likes a user!

I love how parents think that your lucky that they have let you look after their child. Theyve not lent you a Ferrari for the day....

Why misconstrue what he is saying? I also can't find anywhere where he says other people are lucky to look after their children?

I don't really care if you want children or don't and that goes for anyone, but I can't see the point in criticising something just for the sake of it.

Relax and enjoy your life as it is and I'm sure ewenm and I and others will enjoy our lives too without searching for little things to criticise which seems to be the PH norm now.

Edited by The GMan on Friday 22 May 12:44

[ewenm]

jonamv8 said:

ewenm said:

Seriously though there is no need for you "to lose any sort of freedom, spare money, and nice things". Yes, you'd need to make some compromises but you can still have a life of your own. For example, the OH and I have just been away for a lovely long weekend child-free in a luxury hotel in the Lake District. It's all about planning and using the grandparents/family/friends effectively. Day-to-day we ensure each of us gets some "me time", we still spend money on ourselves, we don't spend all available income on the sprog.

Sure, some people do lose all their life to their child(ren) but that's a choice, not a necessity. I know some people like that; I also know plenty of well-balanced families that have a good family life and a good social life.

Using grandparents / family / friends

Do they like being used?? What a terrible expression. No one likes a user!

I love how parents think that your lucky that they have let you look after their child. Theyve not lent you a Ferrari for the day....

And a bite! I *knew* saying "using" would get bites, thank you!

The OH's parents LOVE having our daughter. They keep asking us to USE them more although they are 220 miles away so it's not very frequent.

[Timmy40]

ewenm said:

The OH's parents LOVE having our daughter. They keep asking us to USE them more although they are 220 miles away so it's not very frequent.

We live close to the grandparents, the kids are quite short so you wouldn't see them through the door glass, the trick is to sneak up, bang on the door, run like buggery and when they open the door there's the grandkids both holding a carton of apple juice and a marmite sandwich. Childcare for the day sorted!

[csd19]

The Moose said:

Remember that if she's 40, it's only another circa 10 years you've got to listen to the nagging!

Every cloud and all that!

She's 35 ATM. I've just cleared a load of debt and st that was hanging over from a previous relationship and want to enjoy my money now. If I wanted to waste it I'm quite capable of sitting in front of a roaring fire flicking £50 notes in now and again...

[csd19]

Mr. Potato Head said:

Have you always been explicit in the not-wanting-kids-thing throughout the relationship?

Yep from the word go, it was one of our early conversations.

She might just have been trying to gauge my response, as nothing further was said last night when I got home from the office, or again this morning.

I'm not going to say anything to encourage the situation, we'll see what happens...

[The Moose]

Vacumatic said:

I am much older than 30.

Not having children was the biggest regret of my life.

Male or female?

[crofty1984]

csd19 said:

Well I guess I should've seen this coming, especially after posting on this thread...

My wife turned round to me tonight and said she'd want to do something about kids before she's 40.

fking great.

To which I replied "better get a lottery win then... in fact that'll be the V8 fund gubbed then??", swiftly followed by me heading back to the office for some peace.


And all because I happened to mention that some old family friends who got married before us last year are now expecting... FFS. Talk about doing it to yourself! It was also not long after I'd been ranting about the little sts up the street, who have been riding their bikes through our garden when we're not in. And my thoughts of "I'd run the little s over but I'd damage the car" were met with a disapproving scowl.


Oh well, just have to go drown them in the burn instead...

So is some twonk going to now insist I go ahead, just so I can "see what it's like"? Tbh I don't think I sound like parent material

I see a lot of this in your future if you don't go along with her plan!

[csd19]

crofty1984 said:

I see a lot of this in your future if you don't go along with her plan!

At least the risk of a rug rat is minimised though!