Is 15 years difference going to be a problem?

[PoleDriver]

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

[kwaka jack]

I'm the other way round to most people on here it would seem (older man younger women) lol. I'm 27 she's just turned 44. Been together 5 years in september and both really happy. Older women are far better :P lol

[xRIEx]

DavidY said:

xRIEx said:

9mm said:

Older you both get, the more it matters. 40/25 - so what (as long as one of you doesn't look old or you will be a bit of a laughing stock behind your back). But 50/65 and 65/80 can present far more problems.

Why?

Because the younger person becomes the older persons carer, when they could be leading a more active life.

Surely that can potentially happen at any age, any age gap. If someone isn't willing to take care of their spouse in tough times, maybe they're not marriage material. (Yes, I know professional carers are another option.)

[DavidY]

PoleDriver said:

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

Except it can build enormous resentment, as the younger person is trapped often at home being the carer

[xRIEx]

DavidY said:

PoleDriver said:

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

Except it can build enormous resentment, as the younger person is trapped often at home being the carer

See above, regarding the concept of 'love'. Fingers crossed I don't marry a selfish tt, nor become a selfish tt myself.

[IvanSTi]

DavidY said:

PoleDriver said:

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

Except it can build enormous resentment, as the younger person is trapped often at home being the carer

Yeah. And that's why disabled people should be shot. To hell with the lot of them. Me, me, me, me, me.

[PoleDriver]

xRIEx said:

DavidY said:

PoleDriver said:

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

Except it can build enormous resentment, as the younger person is trapped often at home being the carer

See above, regarding the concept of 'love'. Fingers crossed I don't marry someone without a sense of humour, nor lose mine.

FTFY

[groundcontrol]

kwaka jack said:

I'm the other way round to most people on here it would seem (older man younger women) lol. I'm 27 she's just turned 44. Been together 5 years in september and both really happy. Older women are far better :P lol

Also went this way, 11 years difference 26 and 37. It didn't work out at the end but then childless women at that age naturally have their own ideas about certain issues which I don't share.

Met her through work as well which wasn't an issue, certainly made the day more interesting. Although we'd both moved on to other jobs by the end.

[uk_vette]

DavidY said:

xRIEx said:

9mm said:

Older you both get, the more it matters. 40/25 - so what (as long as one of you doesn't look old or you will be a bit of a laughing stock behind your back). But 50/65 and 65/80 can present far more problems.

Why?

Because the younger person becomes the older persons carer, when they could be leading a more active life.

But isn't real loving married life, caring for each other every day regardless?

It's always a 2 way thing.

vette

[KFC]

xRIEx said:

Surely that can potentially happen at any age, any age gap. If someone isn't willing to take care of their spouse in tough times, maybe they're not marriage material. (Yes, I know professional carers are another option.)

Sure it can happen at any time, you could get run over by a bus in your 20's. But if you have a spouse 20 years older than you then the odds are stacked against you. Hopefully you remembered all those nappy changing skills from when you had kids

[Moonhawk]

groundcontrol said:

kwaka jack said:

I'm the other way round to most people on here it would seem (older man younger women) lol. I'm 27 she's just turned 44. Been together 5 years in september and both really happy. Older women are far better :P lol

Also went this way, 11 years difference 26 and 37. It didn't work out at the end but then childless women at that age naturally have their own ideas about certain issues which I don't share.

Met her through work as well which wasn't an issue, certainly made the day more interesting. Although we'd both moved on to other jobs by the end.

Same way round here too and same age gap. We met at work when I was 21 - she had a child from a previous marriage. We are still together after 19 years.

I know a few couples where the woman is the older partner - seems to be getting more common.

[Ari]

uk_vette said:

But isn't real loving married life, caring for each other every day regardless?

It's always a 2 way thing.

vette

The point is it becomes a hell of a lot less two way when one is an aged OAP and the younger one is the old blokes carer.

[KFC]

uk_vette said:

15 years difference is nothing these days.
Just enjoy her to the full.
Bring back the fun years you used to have.



26 years older here.
No problems.
6 years married.
And she wants the baby stuff, which i will happily go along with.

Lovin' every day.

vette

It might be good now but I wouldn't settle down, marry or have kids with a woman so much younger I don't think.

Its not going to be good for a 40 year old woman to have a husband with dementia, needs his nappy changing twice a day and can't leave the house without a carer

Its a huge amount to ask of someone.

If the age gap was 35+ years then I'd just work on the assumption its a commercial arrangement on both sides, even if neither admits it publicly. The bloke is getting a nice young wife while he's still young enough to enjoy it. Then he's getting a carer when he needs it. And in return the woman is also getting something while she's (hopefully) still young enough to enjoy it - all of your money when you're dead

[Ari]

kwaka jack said:

I'm the other way round to most people on here it would seem (older man younger women) lol. I'm 27 she's just turned 44. Been together 5 years in september and both really happy. Older women are far better :P lol

Older women, maybe. Old women..?

When you're 57 will you feel the same way about having a 74 year old 'girlfriend'..?

[RobinOakapple]

I tried it for a while (11 years) with a woman who was 14 years older than me. It didn't work out and I'm glad I am now with someone almost my own age (2 years younger).

Given the time back I would have made the effort and found someone closer to my own age, going the other way- having a short fling with a much younger woman would be fun but long term the prospects are not good, and eventually she'll get fed up with the arrangement.

[austinsmirk]

my wife is 9 years younger than me, go for it.

now and then you realise you've done more in life, experienced more- but hey ho.


my sister started seeing her (now husband) at 21, he was 41.

they've been together now 23 years.

[simonrockman]

PoleDriver said:

DavidY said:

the younger person becomes the older persons carer,

Sounds like a plan to me!

It works very well for a couple I know. He's 90 she's 50 something.

FWIW At 51 I certainly would not want to go through the baby thing again. I'm 30 years older than my kids and that often feels too much.

[LordGrover]

Sorted.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
A bit like most relationships.

[Ari]

austinsmirk said:

my wife is 9 years younger than me, go for it.

now and then you realise you've done more in life, experienced more- but hey ho.


my sister started seeing her (now husband) at 21, he was 41.

they've been together now 23 years.

Wow, next year she'll be 45 years old and married to a pensioner...

As said earlier, might be ok when you're younger, less good when one middle aged person finds themselves suddenly saddled with an OAP for a partner.

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

At least when you're dead, she'll still be young enough to find someone else...