Changing your fashion style, is it possible?
Discussion
Ever since I was a lad, I've worn jeans, T-Shirt/Polo and trainers.
I'm at the stage in my life where I'm starting to appreciate nice resturants and decent hotels on our holidays, but my lack of fashion/a more mature style, is making me feel uncomfortable in these situations.
I've bought some grown up shoes and a jacket but they are still unworn as I feel uncomfortable wearing them. I just can't picture what "goes" with what so will always revert back to my "safe" style. I have ventured with shirts now, but still can't resist rolling up the sleeves, tucking them in just feels wrong.
Can you learn how to dress yourself without looking like a pillock? At the age of 45, you'd have thought I'd know by now, but I really struggle and have to rely on the wife or daughter to tell me I look ok.....
I'm at the stage in my life where I'm starting to appreciate nice resturants and decent hotels on our holidays, but my lack of fashion/a more mature style, is making me feel uncomfortable in these situations.
I've bought some grown up shoes and a jacket but they are still unworn as I feel uncomfortable wearing them. I just can't picture what "goes" with what so will always revert back to my "safe" style. I have ventured with shirts now, but still can't resist rolling up the sleeves, tucking them in just feels wrong.
Can you learn how to dress yourself without looking like a pillock? At the age of 45, you'd have thought I'd know by now, but I really struggle and have to rely on the wife or daughter to tell me I look ok.....
Most middle aged (British) men can't dress for s
t. I'd say it's the norm and a very decent proportion rely on their wives to choose their clothes for them. I think that's why anyone dressed half well seems to stand out.
Nothing wrong with jeans imo. Match them with a decent well fitting (tucked in!) shirt and a blazer and you'll look fine. Go for easy to match coloured shirts (or is the PC term 'shirts of colour'!?) and they'll go with most things. Avoid anything excessively slim/fashion fit - leave those to the hipster youth.
The key with the above it not expensive or designer clothes but well fitted. By doing that, you'll be dressed better than the majority of individuals you meet.
Oh, and if the wife says something looks st, it probably does!
t. I'd say it's the norm and a very decent proportion rely on their wives to choose their clothes for them. I think that's why anyone dressed half well seems to stand out.Nothing wrong with jeans imo. Match them with a decent well fitting (tucked in!) shirt and a blazer and you'll look fine. Go for easy to match coloured shirts (or is the PC term 'shirts of colour'!?) and they'll go with most things. Avoid anything excessively slim/fashion fit - leave those to the hipster youth.
The key with the above it not expensive or designer clothes but well fitted. By doing that, you'll be dressed better than the majority of individuals you meet.
Oh, and if the wife says something looks s
t, it probably does! Byff said:
Ever since I was a lad, I've worn jeans, T-Shirt/Polo and trainers.
I'm at the stage in my life where I'm starting to appreciate nice resturants and decent hotels on our holidays, but my lack of fashion/a more mature style, is making me feel uncomfortable in these situations.
I've bought some grown up shoes and a jacket but they are still unworn as I feel uncomfortable wearing them. I just can't picture what "goes" with what so will always revert back to my "safe" style. I have ventured with shirts now, but still can't resist rolling up the sleeves, tucking them in just feels wrong.
Can you learn how to dress yourself without looking like a pillock? At the age of 45, you'd have thought I'd know by now, but I really struggle and have to rely on the wife or daughter to tell me I look ok.....
Plenty of good ideas here;I'm at the stage in my life where I'm starting to appreciate nice resturants and decent hotels on our holidays, but my lack of fashion/a more mature style, is making me feel uncomfortable in these situations.
I've bought some grown up shoes and a jacket but they are still unworn as I feel uncomfortable wearing them. I just can't picture what "goes" with what so will always revert back to my "safe" style. I have ventured with shirts now, but still can't resist rolling up the sleeves, tucking them in just feels wrong.
Can you learn how to dress yourself without looking like a pillock? At the age of 45, you'd have thought I'd know by now, but I really struggle and have to rely on the wife or daughter to tell me I look ok.....
http://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/top/?sor...
I'm the same age as OP and probably care more now about what I wear than I ever did before.
I've slowly moved from trainers to shoes and logoed tshirts to plain t's or long sleeved shirts but mainly moving from cheap to better quality items avoiding big logos. I still can't get on with blazers preferring a jumper or hoodie depending on how smart or casual I want to be.
You don't need to do it all in one hit but a colleague of the same age just has (due to a new wife) and he does get shed loads of compliments on the change of look from IT geek to catalogue model.
Most fashion appears to be complete balls but at our age we can ignore all that and just look at classic style with the occasional nod to current trends. e.g. slightly slimmer (not skinny) jeans.
You could do worse than to look at Esquire, GQ or the Grey Fox blog websites for ideas.
I've slowly moved from trainers to shoes and logoed tshirts to plain t's or long sleeved shirts but mainly moving from cheap to better quality items avoiding big logos. I still can't get on with blazers preferring a jumper or hoodie depending on how smart or casual I want to be.
You don't need to do it all in one hit but a colleague of the same age just has (due to a new wife) and he does get shed loads of compliments on the change of look from IT geek to catalogue model.
Most fashion appears to be complete balls but at our age we can ignore all that and just look at classic style with the occasional nod to current trends. e.g. slightly slimmer (not skinny) jeans.
You could do worse than to look at Esquire, GQ or the Grey Fox blog websites for ideas.
Byff said:
Can you learn how to dress yourself without looking like a pillock? At the age of 45, you'd have thought I'd know by now, but I really struggle and have to rely on the wife or daughter to tell me I look ok.....
Know how you feel. I've worn combats all my life apart from when I've worked in offices. I keep thinking that I should dress more smartly even when I don't have to.Thing is, if you go out in a crowd that doesn't know you, providing you act confidently, nobody will think, "What a t
t." If I wore jacket, shirt and chinos to a family occasion, everyone would laugh because they know how I dress. My BiL would probably ask me why I'm dressing like a c. Not that I would be dressing like a c... but it's just his way of taking the piss. In fact, I have looked at myself in the mirror when dressed "smart casual" and I think, "What a c" yet I see others of my age dress like that and I think how smart they look and how I should dress more like them.Good luck.
Another idea: slowly change your style by changing one thing at a time.
So, you currently wear jeans/polo/trainers? Swap out the trainers for casual/smart shoes. Wear that for a month. You and people around you will get used to that. The following month try swapping the jeans for smarter trousers or vary it from day to day. Then finally, start wearing shirts instead of polos. Roll the sleeves up initially.
Before you know it, you'll be going around everywhere with a bow tie.
So, you currently wear jeans/polo/trainers? Swap out the trainers for casual/smart shoes. Wear that for a month. You and people around you will get used to that. The following month try swapping the jeans for smarter trousers or vary it from day to day. Then finally, start wearing shirts instead of polos. Roll the sleeves up initially.
Before you know it, you'll be going around everywhere with a bow tie.
The thing is, no-one other than you gives a fk. Sorry.
The Maitre-d doesnt wear that tux all day when he's not working. Person wears the clothes, not the other way around.
When I was on honeymoon we went for a river cruise, the advice was that gentlemen wear jackets. I hadnt packed one, I hadnt thought of taking a suit so I went shopping and found an awesome red velvet smoking jacket for $65. Pair of dark jeans, dark brown shoes and a shirt, job done.
What you think is wacky and way too adventurous, no-one else really notices. It's like when your eye twitches, you're convinced that everyone else must see your head rolling around from how much it's twitching but no, no-one caught it.
Find colours you like, find things that you wouldnt normally wear, make sure they dont look like a failed Jackson Pollock or stuff for youths and you're off.
k. Sorry. The Maitre-d doesnt wear that tux all day when he's not working. Person wears the clothes, not the other way around.
When I was on honeymoon we went for a river cruise, the advice was that gentlemen wear jackets. I hadnt packed one, I hadnt thought of taking a suit so I went shopping and found an awesome red velvet smoking jacket for $65. Pair of dark jeans, dark brown shoes and a shirt, job done.
What you think is wacky and way too adventurous, no-one else really notices. It's like when your eye twitches, you're convinced that everyone else must see your head rolling around from how much it's twitching but no, no-one caught it.
Find colours you like, find things that you wouldnt normally wear, make sure they dont look like a failed Jackson Pollock or stuff for youths and you're off.
I was in similar position to OP a couple of years ago. I was clueless.
I found a decent menswear shop and took their advice.
Some of what they tried out on me were too 'out there' for me and left the first time with just an unstructured casual jacket, some smart/casual blue trousers and subtly patterned shirt.
When I first went out I felt very self conscious, but after many comments and compliments from unexpected quarters, like the girl in the coffee shop, barmaids and friends I soon relaxed.
It was the beginning of a slippery slope and I now dress (comparatively) 'well' most of the time, even if it's just jeans and a jacket with a nice shirt.
It really is worth making the effort.
I found a decent menswear shop and took their advice.
Some of what they tried out on me were too 'out there' for me and left the first time with just an unstructured casual jacket, some smart/casual blue trousers and subtly patterned shirt.
When I first went out I felt very self conscious, but after many comments and compliments from unexpected quarters, like the girl in the coffee shop, barmaids and friends I soon relaxed.
It was the beginning of a slippery slope and I now dress (comparatively) 'well' most of the time, even if it's just jeans and a jacket with a nice shirt.
It really is worth making the effort.
Surely you just need to find a shop that sells things you like?
Buy the shirts from denim brands so it still feels a bit more unconstructed and laid back.
We have sold the Replay shirts really well to T Shirt guys, they are a nice tailored, smart cut, but unconstructed so very obvious it is not a work shirt...
http://shop.replay.it/en/Replay/SS15/Man/Shirt/men...
Or buy a long sleeve Polo if you prefer them to shirts?
Not saying you need to spend £120 on a Hackett, but something like this with a pair of nice dark jeans will always look smart...
http://www.hackett.com/catalog/product/view/id/191...
And if getting away from trainers buy a casual shoe, maybe a chukka boot or something that works well with a smart jean but still doesn't feel too formal.
J Shoes is a good brand.....
http://www.jshoesonline.co.uk/mens-c1/boots-c5/arc...
Just need to find the look you are happy wearing, find a decent independent store that carries some nice products and can guide you a bit, a decent sales guy will want you to try on 5 shirts and 5 pairs of trousers/jeans so you find a cut you feel comfy in. You need to find that store.
Buy the shirts from denim brands so it still feels a bit more unconstructed and laid back.
We have sold the Replay shirts really well to T Shirt guys, they are a nice tailored, smart cut, but unconstructed so very obvious it is not a work shirt...
http://shop.replay.it/en/Replay/SS15/Man/Shirt/men...
Or buy a long sleeve Polo if you prefer them to shirts?
Not saying you need to spend £120 on a Hackett, but something like this with a pair of nice dark jeans will always look smart...
http://www.hackett.com/catalog/product/view/id/191...
And if getting away from trainers buy a casual shoe, maybe a chukka boot or something that works well with a smart jean but still doesn't feel too formal.
J Shoes is a good brand.....
http://www.jshoesonline.co.uk/mens-c1/boots-c5/arc...
Just need to find the look you are happy wearing, find a decent independent store that carries some nice products and can guide you a bit, a decent sales guy will want you to try on 5 shirts and 5 pairs of trousers/jeans so you find a cut you feel comfy in. You need to find that store.
Hoofy said:
Another idea: slowly change your style by changing one thing at a time.
So, you currently wear jeans/polo/trainers? Swap out the trainers for casual/smart shoes. Wear that for a month. You and people around you will get used to that. The following month try swapping the jeans for smarter trousers or vary it from day to day. Then finally, start wearing shirts instead of polos. Roll the sleeves up initially.
Before you know it, you'll be going around everywhere with a bow tie.
This is good advice!So, you currently wear jeans/polo/trainers? Swap out the trainers for casual/smart shoes. Wear that for a month. You and people around you will get used to that. The following month try swapping the jeans for smarter trousers or vary it from day to day. Then finally, start wearing shirts instead of polos. Roll the sleeves up initially.
Before you know it, you'll be going around everywhere with a bow tie.
If one day you walk out wearing trousers smart shoes, a shirt and blazer, the change in "you" is what people will notice.
Exactly as Hoofy said, get some nice smart/casual shoes, something like these:
(you can spend £20 or £400 on this type, but this is a good easy to source starting ground)
http://www.next.co.uk/x5d2544s1#837216x55
Pair this with some of your current jeans (slimmer and fitted, rather than skater baggy)
and wear a shirt like this, with the sleeves rolled up, perhaps even a jumper over the top
http://www.next.co.uk/g1z3344s2
That's easily smart and understated enough for a nice meal out, you can then move onto chino's, but no rush for this.
OP, just follow the link, but ignore some of the manic styling. http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/style/best-dressed
It's often just about buying 'safe' colours that will interchange, good quality clothing that doesn't fall apart after 2 washes and decent; shoes (Heavy brogues: - they go with anything) watch etc.
It's often just about buying 'safe' colours that will interchange, good quality clothing that doesn't fall apart after 2 washes and decent; shoes (Heavy brogues: - they go with anything) watch etc.
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