Tell us something really trivial about your life (Vol 26)
Discussion
The office sent me to drop off a car at an SN postcode. They think they sent me to Swindon. It was actually miles south of Wootton Bassett. They think they sent me to a major transport hub but in fact they sent me to the middle of the 18th Century. Please do not all hoot with laughter when I ring the office and say I'm in a caff waiting for a bus. We all know I'm in the Cross Keys but they don't need to know that. It'll be our secret.
TheChampers said:
DickyC said:
Honorary Member of the Ferquarwie tribe.
That was me and a colleague yesterday striding purposefully out of St Paul's tube station for our meeting at London Wall, in completely the opposite direction for ten minutes. "Shouldn't we be there by now?" 
You really did balls that up mate.
Another 10 minutes and I could have made you a cuppa!!
TheChampers said:
Pixel Pusher said:
Another 10 minutes and I could have made you a cuppa!!
I wish I'd carried on 'Twas a long and tedious meeting, brightened only by the presence of a pretty young corporate lawyer in a skirt short enough to provide a distraction 
hidetheelephants said:
Have you stopped cursing them yet?
Their cure for their up bollix? "Do you fancy going to Purfleet and getting a Merc for Bristol for tomorrow?"
If you want to go to Purfleet you don't start from Dunstable.
But every day is a school day. The buses run part of their route to Luton along an old railway line. Small horizontal wheels pick up on a barge board along the road cum track and the driver doesn't steer. The driver was so chuffed I was interested.
Apparently it's national poetry day. As I'm s
t at poetry here's some of Spike Milligan's.
Limerick Written to a Fellow Soldier
There was a young soldier called Edser
When wanted was always in bed sir
One morning at one
They fired the gun
And Edser, in bed sir, was dead sir!
Teeth
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.
There are holes in the sky
There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in
But they're ever so small
That's why the rain is thin.
The Bongaloo
"What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"A Bongaloo, Son," said I,
"Is a tall bag of cheese
Plus a Chinaman's knees
And the leg of a nanny goat's eye."
"How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"As strange as strange," I replied.
"When the sun's in the West
It appears in a vest
Sailing out with the noonday tide."
"What shape is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"The shape, my Son, I'll explain:
It's tall round the nose
Which continually grows
In the general direction of Spain."
'Are you sure there's a Bongaloo, Daddy?'
"Am I sure, my Son?" said I.
"Why, I've seen it, not quite
On a dark sunny night
Do you think that I'd tell you a lie?"
Down The Stream The Swans All Glide
Down the stream the swans all glide;
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better
Maveric
Maveric Prowles
Had Rumbling Bowles
That thundered in the night.
It shook the bedrooms all around
And gave the folks a fright.
The doctor called;
He was appalled
When through his stethoscope
He heard the sound of a baying hound,
And the acrid smell of smoke.
Was there a cure?
'The higher the fewer'
The learned doctor said,
Then turned poor Maveric inside out
And stood him on his head.
'Just as I though
You've been and caught
An Asiatic flu -
You musn't go near dogs I fear
Unless they come near you.'
Poor Maveric cried.
He went cross-eyed,
His legs went green and blue.
The doctor hit him with a club
And charged him one and two.
And so my friend
This is the end,
A warning to the few:
Stay clear of doctors to the end
Or they'll get rid of you.
t at poetry here's some of Spike Milligan's.Limerick Written to a Fellow Soldier
There was a young soldier called Edser
When wanted was always in bed sir
One morning at one
They fired the gun
And Edser, in bed sir, was dead sir!
Teeth
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.
There are holes in the sky
There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in
But they're ever so small
That's why the rain is thin.
The Bongaloo
"What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"A Bongaloo, Son," said I,
"Is a tall bag of cheese
Plus a Chinaman's knees
And the leg of a nanny goat's eye."
"How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"As strange as strange," I replied.
"When the sun's in the West
It appears in a vest
Sailing out with the noonday tide."
"What shape is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
"The shape, my Son, I'll explain:
It's tall round the nose
Which continually grows
In the general direction of Spain."
'Are you sure there's a Bongaloo, Daddy?'
"Am I sure, my Son?" said I.
"Why, I've seen it, not quite
On a dark sunny night
Do you think that I'd tell you a lie?"
Down The Stream The Swans All Glide
Down the stream the swans all glide;
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better
Maveric
Maveric Prowles
Had Rumbling Bowles
That thundered in the night.
It shook the bedrooms all around
And gave the folks a fright.
The doctor called;
He was appalled
When through his stethoscope
He heard the sound of a baying hound,
And the acrid smell of smoke.
Was there a cure?
'The higher the fewer'
The learned doctor said,
Then turned poor Maveric inside out
And stood him on his head.
'Just as I though
You've been and caught
An Asiatic flu -
You musn't go near dogs I fear
Unless they come near you.'
Poor Maveric cried.
He went cross-eyed,
His legs went green and blue.
The doctor hit him with a club
And charged him one and two.
And so my friend
This is the end,
A warning to the few:
Stay clear of doctors to the end
Or they'll get rid of you.
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