Tell us something really trivial about your life (Vol 26)
Discussion
Bear with me on this, it may fly or it may be complete b
ks. Since I've been doing the car delivery job, my attitude to cars has changed. It started the first time I went to Purfleet on the Thames Estuary to collect a new Mercedes from the docks for a customer. I arrived about ten at night, long after the office was shut, and had to deal with the security man. Having established my bona fides he signed me in and said, "The car will be unlocked and the documents and keys will be inside." So I asked, "Where is it?" He looked at me over the top of his glasses and with his palm uppermost made a sweeping gesture from left to right that took in the whole yard. "It's out there." 'Out there' being half a square mile of new cars. Having established that not all the cars in the yard were Mercedes, I began to narrow it down but eventually I just had to walk up and down aisle after aisle of similar and occasionally identical Mercedes until I found it. I didn't have the keys so I couldn't keep popping the remote hoping for a car to respond, I just had to walk between rows of cars reading the number plates. As I did so, the cars stopped being a collection of individual customer's pride and joy and they became sausages. Raw sausages. But, having found the correct sausage, I could then start it cooking. By that I mean I could help the car to begin to acquire some character.
Raw sausage is grim, but the sight, sound and smell of cooked sausage is a totally different thing. Same sausage, with character added.
Now, here's the thing. Years ago, when they still made only the traditional car, I went to the Morgan factory and had a walk round. The process that captivated me most was two lads truing the chassis. To one side against the wall was a stack of chassis from the welding jig. To the other side was a stack of chassis that had been trued up. In between were two big carpenters trestles with angle iron edges. A chassis was lifted on to the trestles and clamped to one of them. The two chassis men then backed away and eyeballed the amount of twist the chassis had arrived with. They then passed a metal bar through the front cross member and twisted the other way, took out the bar, eyeballed again, made a minor adjustment or two if needed, took the now straight chassis off the trestles and stood it against the ready-to-go stack.
These chassis would go on to be cars that would never be raw sausages. These cars would all come out of the factory sizzling.
So if they start off sizzling they will go on to be cars full of character and quirks and personality.
Mass produced cars on the other hand may acquire character but they will never be the Full English.
That is my theory.
ks. Since I've been doing the car delivery job, my attitude to cars has changed. It started the first time I went to Purfleet on the Thames Estuary to collect a new Mercedes from the docks for a customer. I arrived about ten at night, long after the office was shut, and had to deal with the security man. Having established my bona fides he signed me in and said, "The car will be unlocked and the documents and keys will be inside." So I asked, "Where is it?" He looked at me over the top of his glasses and with his palm uppermost made a sweeping gesture from left to right that took in the whole yard. "It's out there." 'Out there' being half a square mile of new cars. Having established that not all the cars in the yard were Mercedes, I began to narrow it down but eventually I just had to walk up and down aisle after aisle of similar and occasionally identical Mercedes until I found it. I didn't have the keys so I couldn't keep popping the remote hoping for a car to respond, I just had to walk between rows of cars reading the number plates. As I did so, the cars stopped being a collection of individual customer's pride and joy and they became sausages. Raw sausages. But, having found the correct sausage, I could then start it cooking. By that I mean I could help the car to begin to acquire some character. Raw sausage is grim, but the sight, sound and smell of cooked sausage is a totally different thing. Same sausage, with character added.
Now, here's the thing. Years ago, when they still made only the traditional car, I went to the Morgan factory and had a walk round. The process that captivated me most was two lads truing the chassis. To one side against the wall was a stack of chassis from the welding jig. To the other side was a stack of chassis that had been trued up. In between were two big carpenters trestles with angle iron edges. A chassis was lifted on to the trestles and clamped to one of them. The two chassis men then backed away and eyeballed the amount of twist the chassis had arrived with. They then passed a metal bar through the front cross member and twisted the other way, took out the bar, eyeballed again, made a minor adjustment or two if needed, took the now straight chassis off the trestles and stood it against the ready-to-go stack.
These chassis would go on to be cars that would never be raw sausages. These cars would all come out of the factory sizzling.
So if they start off sizzling they will go on to be cars full of character and quirks and personality.
Mass produced cars on the other hand may acquire character but they will never be the Full English.
That is my theory.
DickyC said:
I gazed out at a sea of cars
sausages thread kill paste.
Something something prick your bangers something something.I get where you're coming from though. I've been in and around car things for about thirty years and really struggle to get excited about them - which is an odd situation because I still glean a lot of pleasure from the things.
I suppose that's why I stand at the sidelines with an amused expression when I see enthusiastic frothing about the latest whizzy trinket. "Meh" comes to mind.
As if being 6'4" and driving a bright red MX5 isn't embarrassing enough, just to make it worse the centre section decided to detach itself from the backbox, in a multi-storey 20 miles from home! I looked like a slightly too old "scene" kid!
My god it was loud, but the pops and bangs were cool and it sounded pretty good at high revs!
My god it was loud, but the pops and bangs were cool and it sounded pretty good at high revs!
DickyC said:
Would it be possible to hastily convene the Protocol and Precedent Sub-Committee? I was gardening for a few hours and then came in and absentmindedly started cooking without changing from my gardening clothes. I need to know how badly I have transgressed.
Stand in the corner,put on the pointy dunces hat,hang your head in shame....
I remember what I came here for ,not to comment on pad's dinner but.....
note to self,pay more attention.
Next week's PHSS is in St Leonard's on Sea[Hastings]...when I first read it all I saw was Leigh on Sea[Southend]
Doh.
There's a cracking Humer Unbeam just off the A21 I could visit next Sunday then.
note to self,pay more attention.
Next week's PHSS is in St Leonard's on Sea[Hastings]...when I first read it all I saw was Leigh on Sea[Southend]
Doh.
There's a cracking Humer Unbeam just off the A21 I could visit next Sunday then.
Iva Barchetta said:
DickyC said:
Would it be possible to hastily convene the Protocol and Precedent Sub-Committee? I was gardening for a few hours and then came in and absentmindedly started cooking without changing from my gardening clothes. I need to know how badly I have transgressed.
Stand in the corner,put on the pointy dunces hat,hang your head in shame....
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