Danger in the woods

[northwest monkey]

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

[mybrainhurts]

Dan_1981 said:

rhinochopig said:

So you're staying in Sheffield MBH. Where do you normally live when you're not hiking between Shef and Worksop?

Rotherham I understand

You utter swine, I'll get you for that....

[Timmy40]

northwest monkey said:

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

Looks like he was trying to give your Mrs a portion!

[mybrainhurts]

soad said:

Alvin Hall Ostrich Attack:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8QHw9lrMao#t=37

Missed that yesterday...

[Vocal Minority]

Jasandjules said:

Are these not the feckers that have massive claws and can seriously damage you with a kick?

I think that's a Cassowary - but they aren't dissimilar.

https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Cassowary

[Getragdogleg]

Timmy40 said:

northwest monkey said:

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

Looks like he was trying to give your Mrs a portion!

I thought that was its reflection...

[MrBarry123]

northwest monkey said:

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

I can't believe it shut your Mrs outside.

[Hooli]

Oh local news on PH, excellent. I'll get the bbq lit.

[Timmy40]

Hooli said:

Oh local news on PH, excellent. I'll get the bbq lit.

You need to make a baited pitfall trap for a beast of that size.

[JuniorD]

mybrainhurts said:

..has species recognition problems and, if it sees you, it might try to shag you.

Anything that moves or breathes is fair game, it seems.

Now, this thing is 6 feet tall and has a todger that's 12 inches long and shaped like a corkscrew.

It has to be a PHer...

[Ayahuasca]

northwest monkey said:

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

Is that a post-coital glow on the good lady's face?

[Bill]

mybrainhurts said:

I'm staying in Sheffield.

You've borrowed a feather boa and are wandering round making clucking noises, aren't you?

[northwest monkey]

Ayahuasca said:

northwest monkey said:

I got back home a few years ago to find this thing running round my front garden. Nearly shat myself

Is that a post-coital glow on the good lady's face?

If it's got a 12" cock then very probably, yes

[mybrainhurts]

Bill said:

mybrainhurts said:

I'm staying in Sheffield.

You've borrowed a feather boa and are wandering round making clucking noises, aren't you?

Given the right protection, I'll be bait for most things, but I draw the line at a 12 inch corkscrew....

[Pesty]

[Beati Dogu]

Send Michael Parkinson in to catch it.

[NRS]

soad said:

Stay away!



Or play dead.

Good to have these pictures! I'm going to Patagonia in November which is where they live normally (Rheas) so may have to use some of these techniques to protect my innocence.

[coopedup]

NRS said:

Good to have these pictures! I'm going to Patagonia in November which is where they live normally (Rheas) so may have to use some of these techniques to protect my innocence arse.

[glenrobbo]

mybrainhurts said:

Impasse said:

I'm actually 6' 2".

Yes, but you've not got a 12 inch cock shaped like a corkscrew...

How do you know?

[sparkyhx]

brilliant thread - laughing out loud at my desk at home.