Danger in the woods
Discussion
Mods, please don't put this in the animal thingy forum, it needs to get to as many people as possible.
If anyone's thinking of taking a walk between Sheffield and Worksop, read on...
A member of the ostrich family, called a rhea, has escaped from a private collection. This thing can't fly, but it can run. Pretty damn' quick, in fact. Some report it can be aggressive, others say it will run away and hide in the bushes if it sees you.
However...
Radio Sheffield interviewed an expert on these things. He warns that the bird has species recognition problems and, if it sees you, it might try to shag you.
Anything that moves or breathes is fair game, it seems.
Now, this thing is 6 feet tall and has a todger that's 12 inches long and shaped like a corkscrew.
If you see it, you can't outrun it, so it might be an idea to brace yourself, shut your eyes and ponder where you might buy some ointment and eye drops.
I'm staying in Sheffield.
If anyone's thinking of taking a walk between Sheffield and Worksop, read on...
A member of the ostrich family, called a rhea, has escaped from a private collection. This thing can't fly, but it can run. Pretty damn' quick, in fact. Some report it can be aggressive, others say it will run away and hide in the bushes if it sees you.
However...
Radio Sheffield interviewed an expert on these things. He warns that the bird has species recognition problems and, if it sees you, it might try to shag you.
Anything that moves or breathes is fair game, it seems.
Now, this thing is 6 feet tall and has a todger that's 12 inches long and shaped like a corkscrew.
If you see it, you can't outrun it, so it might be an idea to brace yourself, shut your eyes and ponder where you might buy some ointment and eye drops.
I'm staying in Sheffield.
It seems that this happens reasonably often in the UK
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2906697/Rh...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2906697/Rh...
RobinBanks said:
It seems that this happens reasonably often in the UK
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2906697/Rh...
"But when officers arrived they could do little but sit and watch as the bird, which can reach speeds of 40mph, raced past."http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2906697/Rh...
They need a Stinger....
bern said:
I live mile away from where this has escaped and do of lot of walking around there.
Fortunately most of the walking I do is with a mate of mine who is about 22 stone! So I haven't got to outrun the ostrich thing just my mate!
The spirit of Rolf's Two Little Boys is well and truly dead and buried...Fortunately most of the walking I do is with a mate of mine who is about 22 stone! So I haven't got to outrun the ostrich thing just my mate!
You bastid....
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