girlfriends annoying child scratched my car

[monamimate]

cwis said:

monamimate said:

huh?
I was criticising someone else for generalising on a sample of one!
In fact, my sample of one against his sample of one proves that, at the very least, he was wrong 50% of the time.

The fact that you think I got lucky makes me very sad for you. Really.

It didn't come across that way - it came across as an overly smug berk boasting that he's the best at relationships and everyone else gives up.

Good for you - you win.

Oh dear, we have issues with men as well as women apparently?

I did nothing more than point out that relationships with stepchildren can be a success. Is that so bad that you had to get all uppity about it?

Jeez...



PS "some" is not a synonym of "everyone", so go troll somewhere else, eh?

[pork911]

OP it seems clear neither child nor mum have any respect for you - if you stay in the relationship then, blunty, more fool you

[ruggedscotty]

other mans kids are a pain - does he contribute money ? does he take them ?

one thing you need to watch is that if you hang about long enough this woman will have the ability to put in a claim on your finances and get help to support those kids that are not yours.....

shocking but thats what happens - do you want to be pinned with that responsibility especially when there is no love lost there between you?

get it together and move on.

[Ari]

ruggedscotty said:

one thing you need to watch is that if you hang about long enough this woman will have the ability to put in a claim on your finances and get help to support those kids that are not yours.....

shocking but thats what happens - do you want to be pinned with that responsibility especially when there is no love lost there between you?

Are you absolutely sure about that..?

[g3org3y]

Ari said:

wjwren said:

It isnt about the car - I was annoyed but not end of the world. More about the child's cant be arsed attitude of it's only a car whatever.

It isn't about the car and it isn't actually about the child's attitude, it's about the mother's parenting (which is why the child has that attitude, she knows she's untouchable - her mum won't ultimately do anything about it).

Ask yourself two questions.

Can you see the mother's attitude to her daughter and to parenting changing?

And if no, can you live with it as it is now and when it gets worse (as it will).

If the answer to both is no then you need to be having a really serious think about your future.

[Mastodon2]

OP, you need to leave this sham or a relationship, you'll always be playing second fiddle to this tw*tty little kid, and your girlfriend will just continue to let the lint c*nt ride roughshod over both of you. This will only end up costing more and more both financially and emotionally. She's not your problem and your girlfriend doesn't give a st about you getting any grief over it. Sack this off and find a woman who isn't dragging some feral little st up.

[Moonhawk]

Mastodon2 said:

OP, you need to leave this sham or a relationship, you'll always be playing second fiddle to this tw*tty little kid, and your girlfriend will just continue to let the lint c*nt ride roughshod over both of you. This will only end up costing more and more both financially and emotionally. She's not your problem and your girlfriend doesn't give a st about you getting any grief over it. Sack this off and find a woman who isn't dragging some feral little st up.

Sorry - your post is a little ambiguous - care to clarify your point

[Wacky Racer]

hora said:

'I cant stand her'.

You also caught her before she could put the stone down.

Stop the confrontation.

Try a different approach. Why not get the girl alone, give her alittle respect (I was quite worldly at 10. I'd seen adults for what they are- mostly grown up children). Ask her what she doesnt like about you and why? Does she resent you and for what reasons.

Get her talking. Confrontation doesnt work.

No, don't get this girl "alone"......

You never know what "tales" she could make up at any time in the future....

By all means do this, but have your girlfriend present at all times.

Just common sense these days.

[surveyor]

I'm afraid st happens around kids.

While the attitude is annoying, she's ten and that will change.

What won't is that she will cost you money over the years if the relationship continues. Accept this now, or leave.

My 19 year old stepson is sadly as daft as they come, earns peanuts and can be exceptionally frustrating when his clumsy self breaks something...

[Leptons]

Blame the Mother. She needs to learn how to discipline the child for a start.

Do you discipline the child?

[Hoofy]

Leptons said:

Blame the Mother. She needs to learn how to discipline the child for a start.

Do you discipline the child?

Out of interest, at that age, is it too late? Or if you start following through with your threats, can it change them?

[KFC]

Tell the kid that scratching stuff doesn't get anyones attention, if she really wanted her 2 parents to stand up and take notice a suicide attempt is the way to go.

[Leptons]

Hoofy said:

Out of interest, at that age, is it too late? Or if you start following through with your threats, can it change them?

I'm not sure, I nipped any similar behaviour in the bud years ago.

1

2

3

Smack

Not had to get to 3 for a long time now.

I don't see why not though. If she wants to act like a fking baby then treat her like one.

[wjwren]

i tell her off but dont smack her. Her mother occasionally does. She lies a lot. Simple things like not flushing the toilet or not brushing her teeth or leaving sweet wrappers down the back of her bed then denies it was her. When her or I confront her and tell her to clean it up she bursts into fake tears telling everyone she hates them.

[eldar]

Hoofy said:

Out of interest, at that age, is it too late? Or if you start following through with your threats, can it change them?

Not too late - probably, and follow through threats - make the threats sensible, proportionate and understandable though.

[csd19]

monamimate said:

Ari said:

monamimate said:

Not sure if being funny?

a) any normal woman will put her child before you (run a mile if she doesn't)
b) referring to some of the posters here, I think we can broaden that to ANY woman...

Correct, but that doesn't stop the mother from creating a united front with her partner to ensure that bad behaviour is recognised and acted appropriately on.

Without that, forget it.

Absolutely - it's a condition sine qua non!
(And the main reason why my relationship with my step-daughters works perfectly now)

And it's the main reason why I left my ex-fiancee and her ahole of a daughter, who was 11 at the time iirc.

Daughter would give her gran total lip, speaking at her like some sort of slave, and would go into a guaranteed strop if the little darling was asked to do something like take dirty dishes through to the kitchen etc. I had exactly the same experience of my ex wanting to be "best buddies" with her daughter instead of being a parent, and it drove us apart. Always felt I couldn't tell her off etc. Best thing I did was leave them to it, one collection of damaged goods.

Based on my experience, I wouldn't go anywhere near a single mum looking for a long term relationship, always masses of baggage. Yes, well done etc etc to those who are lucky enough to get one that's not a self centred mental bag but that's certainly not for me. Thankfully Mrs csd19 didn't bring any kids to our relationship

[RobinBanks]

Ari said:

RobinBanks said:

Is there a reasonable way to make your girlfriend see that the car isn't "just a lump of metal"?

It isn't about the car, it's about the girlfriend's inability to parent the child. Very very common these days.

My point behind that was the hope that the girlfriend will realise that she must try to do something about the child - her ineffective nature is a symptom of an important issue.

[Martin_M]

pork911 said:

OP it seems clear neither child nor mum have any respect for you - if you stay in the relationship then, blunty, more fool you

This I'm afraid. Very sad that the child's mother would tolerate such behaviour from a child of that age. It shows poor parenting on her part and a lack of respect for you. All in my opinion of course.

[oldcynic]

OP, I know next to nothing about your personal circumstances. However I've brought up 3 step-children and 2 of my own (currently 19, 17, 16, 8, 6). There's one thing I've learned from all this experience:

Don't let the child drive or manage the situation.

Take note of what they're doing, but never let them take control.

[Neil H]

The girlfriend and her daughter come as a package, if you find one of them ‘annoying’ then I’m afraid the relationship is doomed. If you have such low regard for the child then it’s best all round for you not to be involved.