Giving up your seat
Discussion
Probably been covered before, but it's starting to get on my nerves.
My commute is about two and half hours on the train - as a rule I arrive 20mins early for the outbound and return journey to cover off any potential issues. outbound at 5am in the morning is fine, the problems start in the evening...
Typically, just as the train is pulling out of Waterloo a gaggle of people will arrive in the front section of the train who either got to the station late or failed to listen to the repeated announcements about the train dividing en route... As the gaggle loom into view the 'looks' start from the women and the elderly - they feel they are entitled to my seat and I should give this up ASAP.
Further along the route as more people get on the same situation arises - my seat is their seat by right of gender/age etc.
Now don't get me wrong, if someone clearly needs the seat more than me I will happily give it up, however if I follow social norms then there is no chance of me ever getting to sit down for the first two hours of the return journey.
This week I've experimented with only relinquishing my seat to the genuinely needy, and the level of snide comments has been unreal!
Am I mad? I pay best part of £7k for my ticket - why should male commuters suffer for making the effort to arrive early to secure their seat?
(I am aware this is a very poor rant, especially for a friday)
My commute is about two and half hours on the train - as a rule I arrive 20mins early for the outbound and return journey to cover off any potential issues. outbound at 5am in the morning is fine, the problems start in the evening...
Typically, just as the train is pulling out of Waterloo a gaggle of people will arrive in the front section of the train who either got to the station late or failed to listen to the repeated announcements about the train dividing en route... As the gaggle loom into view the 'looks' start from the women and the elderly - they feel they are entitled to my seat and I should give this up ASAP.
Further along the route as more people get on the same situation arises - my seat is their seat by right of gender/age etc.
Now don't get me wrong, if someone clearly needs the seat more than me I will happily give it up, however if I follow social norms then there is no chance of me ever getting to sit down for the first two hours of the return journey.
This week I've experimented with only relinquishing my seat to the genuinely needy, and the level of snide comments has been unreal!
Am I mad? I pay best part of £7k for my ticket - why should male commuters suffer for making the effort to arrive early to secure their seat?
(I am aware this is a very poor rant, especially for a friday)
Level of need works for me. You are on a commuter train, so assuming non-pregnant and not 90 year olds fall into the "do not need" category. I see no reason that differing secondary sexual characteristics or differing stage of a working life entitles anyone to erm, anything.
Out of interest, when the snide comments come in, and you ask why they think their need is greater than yours, what has your response been? I am assuming you are a) thin enough to not overflow the seat, b)not a "cover the entire table in paper and laptop" person and c)not sitting there with a four pack of Stella when responding
Out of interest, when the snide comments come in, and you ask why they think their need is greater than yours, what has your response been? I am assuming you are a) thin enough to not overflow the seat, b)not a "cover the entire table in paper and laptop" person and c)not sitting there with a four pack of Stella when responding
BrettMRC said:
Am I mad? I pay best part of £7k for my ticket - why should male commuters suffer for making the effort to arrive early to secure their seat?
Tricky one. I'm old school and travel with the great unwashed rarely so would automatically offer my seat.A long commute on a daily basis which I've paid a not insubstantial sum for...? I'd probably still do it but can understand why others may not.
Have you considered wearing a nice frock and high heels? 
k 'em! I'm with you OP, unless genuinely needy then no.
RE equality - Had an armrest episode with a large lady. My view on armrests is first come first serve, so there I am sitting in the seat resting my arm on yes, the armrest. Large lady sits next to me and forcibly knocks my arm off with her elbow and claims the armrest. I was shellshocked, didn't quite know what to do....
Week or two later, same large lady, same situation but this time I'm ready and braced. Large lady attempts the armrest coup, but it doesn't work. She looks at me in disgust and goes and finds another seat.
Large lady never sat next to me again.
RE equality - Had an armrest episode with a large lady. My view on armrests is first come first serve, so there I am sitting in the seat resting my arm on yes, the armrest. Large lady sits next to me and forcibly knocks my arm off with her elbow and claims the armrest. I was shellshocked, didn't quite know what to do....
Week or two later, same large lady, same situation but this time I'm ready and braced. Large lady attempts the armrest coup, but it doesn't work. She looks at me in disgust and goes and finds another seat.
Large lady never sat next to me again.
on a semi crowded train this fat, stinky, but suited man, i.e wearing clothes that were stained, dirty greasy hair etc came to sit next to me.
I asked him to move due to the smell he had brought with him.
he was clearly offended- so we conversed about the matter and he moved.
fine sit next to me on the rare occasion I get on a train, but FFS, wash and smell nice first.
for sport you can always offer your seat to fat women, noting they are pregnant, just for a laugh.............
I asked him to move due to the smell he had brought with him.
he was clearly offended- so we conversed about the matter and he moved.
fine sit next to me on the rare occasion I get on a train, but FFS, wash and smell nice first.
for sport you can always offer your seat to fat women, noting they are pregnant, just for a laugh.............
As for other posters, I'll give up my seat for an elderly person, a woman in advanced middle age, a handicapped person, a person with a debilitating injury or a pregnant woman. I will not give up my seat for a woman below that age otherwise. As for men, if they are old enough to be doddery, then I'll give up the seat, but I think about it from the older man's point of view - I dread the day that a younger man offers me his seat!
As for fatties - no way!
As for fatties - no way!
BrettMRC said:
This week I've experimented with only relinquishing my seat to the genuinely needy, and the level of snide comments has been unreal!
Surprised to hear that. I travel on the tube, and live near the end of the line, so always get a seat in the morning. Train is packed within a few stops. I find that women and anyone under about 75 doesn't expect to be given a seat. Never had snide comments. I give up my seat for anyone who looks late 70s+, pregnant women and anyone who clearly needs it (leg in plaster, crutches etc.)The rest can stand.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
BrettMRC said:
This week I've experimented with only relinquishing my seat to the genuinely needy, and the level of snide comments has been unreal!
Surprised to hear that. I travel on the tube, and live near the end of the line, so always get a seat in the morning. Train is packed within a few stops. I find that women and anyone under about 75 doesn't expect to be given a seat. Never had snide comments. I give up my seat for anyone who looks late 70s+, pregnant women and anyone who clearly needs it (leg in plaster, crutches etc.)The rest can stand.
Commuter overground trains are full of powerfully built women in suits who think the whole world deserves them an ass licking. In my humble experience anyway.
austinsmirk said:
for sport you can always offer your seat to fat women, noting they are pregnant, just for a laugh.............
Been there, done that. Not for sport, genuine error. She was rather unimpressed but I got sympathy from other passengers.... I will always give up my seat for an elderly or pregnant person. Just a female however no.
Dr Interceptor said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
BrettMRC said:
This week I've experimented with only relinquishing my seat to the genuinely needy, and the level of snide comments has been unreal!
Surprised to hear that. I travel on the tube, and live near the end of the line, so always get a seat in the morning. Train is packed within a few stops. I find that women and anyone under about 75 doesn't expect to be given a seat. Never had snide comments. I give up my seat for anyone who looks late 70s+, pregnant women and anyone who clearly needs it (leg in plaster, crutches etc.)The rest can stand.
Commuter overground trains are full of powerfully built women in suits who think the whole world deserves them an ass licking. In my humble experience anyway.
Just to quote myself... I'm thinking:
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff