Those little annoying traits of the other half
Discussion
Never locks her car doors, and because I'm the man (when it suits), I'm charged with "locking up" at night, so I go to front door to lock it, remember she's probably left her car unlocked, walk back to the lounge, ask her if she has locked it.....
"No idea"
"Well where's your keys then"
"In my bag, I think"
"where is your bag?"
"Emmm, have you tried the cupboard under the stair?"
(bloods now starting to boil as I've stayed up too late anyway and could do with going to bed now, so look in cupboard, not there)
"Your bags not there"
"well have you tried on the kitchen breakfast bar"
And so it goes on, until I find the bag, the keys aren't in it and I smash her face in.....I don't smash her face in, but it's a close run thing most nights
I then go through another 5 mins of looking for keys instead of a bag.
God knows how she loses them because they are about 2 feet in diameter due to the number of key rings she has on them.
Sometime they'll still be in the car, or on the outside of the door!!!! Yet she is obsessed with the side gate beiing padlocked, mental beyond belief.
And to those heroes who reply, just get her to lock the car, she won't, then I'll be the one out of pocket and dealing with everything when the thing gets nicked, sadly it's just less hassle for me in the long run.
"No idea"
"Well where's your keys then"
"In my bag, I think"
"where is your bag?"
"Emmm, have you tried the cupboard under the stair?"
(bloods now starting to boil as I've stayed up too late anyway and could do with going to bed now, so look in cupboard, not there)
"Your bags not there"
"well have you tried on the kitchen breakfast bar"
And so it goes on, until I find the bag, the keys aren't in it and I smash her face in.....I don't smash her face in, but it's a close run thing most nights
I then go through another 5 mins of looking for keys instead of a bag.
God knows how she loses them because they are about 2 feet in diameter due to the number of key rings she has on them.
Sometime they'll still be in the car, or on the outside of the door!!!! Yet she is obsessed with the side gate beiing padlocked, mental beyond belief.
And to those heroes who reply, just get her to lock the car, she won't, then I'll be the one out of pocket and dealing with everything when the thing gets nicked, sadly it's just less hassle for me in the long run.
Strewth .....
Some of those mentioned above would have me apoplectic.
With previous partners though - some of them do sound familiar…
Savagely taking the p!ss has always worked well in getting my point across- I can easily take the silent moody treatment – sometimes it’s the best way to have them around…
• - carries on with singledom…..
Some of those mentioned above would have me apoplectic.
With previous partners though - some of them do sound familiar…
Savagely taking the p!ss has always worked well in getting my point across- I can easily take the silent moody treatment – sometimes it’s the best way to have them around…
• - carries on with singledom…..
I'm a lazy person, so I sort things nicely so that it is less effort to find them later. Saves time & effort over all. It's part of the reason I became a programmer: I will spend 10 minutes writing code to save an hour of manually renaming files for example.
Mrs. S. is a lazy person. Difference is that she just chucks things all in one big pile which means every time you want something you spend hours searching for it. This goes for everything. Nappy bag, shoes, storing photos on the NAS, kitchen utensils.
Her idea of "putting something away in the shed" is what I'd call "putting something in the shed". It is not away. It's on the fooking floor blocking the door.
Mrs. S. is a lazy person. Difference is that she just chucks things all in one big pile which means every time you want something you spend hours searching for it. This goes for everything. Nappy bag, shoes, storing photos on the NAS, kitchen utensils.
Her idea of "putting something away in the shed" is what I'd call "putting something in the shed". It is not away. It's on the fooking floor blocking the door.
budgie smuggler said:
I'm a lazy person, so I sort things nicely so that it is less effort to find them later. Saves time & effort over all. It's part of the reason I became a programmer: I will spend 10 minutes writing code to save an hour.
Mrs. S. is a lazy person. Difference is that she just chucks things all in one big pile which means every time you want something you spend hours searching for it. This goes for everything. Storing photos on the NAS, nappy bag, shoes, kitchen utensils.
Her idea of "putting something away in the shed" is what I'd call "putting something in the shed". It is not away. It's on the fooking floor blocking the door.
Tidying is another one... the property will only get a deep cleanse when OH has friends over, she gets mighty pissed off when I leave her to it with the simple clause of 'If you want to live in chaos when its just you and me, then I see little point in helping you now just because X is coming over for a visit'.Mrs. S. is a lazy person. Difference is that she just chucks things all in one big pile which means every time you want something you spend hours searching for it. This goes for everything. Storing photos on the NAS, nappy bag, shoes, kitchen utensils.
Her idea of "putting something away in the shed" is what I'd call "putting something in the shed". It is not away. It's on the fooking floor blocking the door.
When I say chaos, its her stuff piled up everywhere that she has been meaning to clean for X period of time and leaves to the night before people come to stay.
I will add she's a lot better than she was and is learning that if she would like a hand to cleanse the place, then keep it tidy at times when people are not visiting, so when I want to sit down I don't need to move a pile of her crap, etc.
Used to drive me nuts, now its not a bother.
Electronicpants said:
Yet she is obsessed with the side gate beiing padlocked, mental beyond belief.
That's weird, my missus is the same with the side door into the kitchen. I've asked her why and she just rambles on.Yet she'd never dream of locking the front door - anyone could just walk in.
Having recently had a kid, we had to get a changing bag.
Settled on a 'Bababing' one in John Lewis, on the basis that it is stlyed like a 'messenger' bag, so I don't look a girly tosser when carrying some flowered number.
Had she gone on to say "I'll also treat it as a handbag, stuffing it full of all manner of unrelated-to-a-sprog s
te, such that it continually looks like the seams are about to explode, spoling its rather sleek design" I'd have told her to buy her bloody own.
Settled on a 'Bababing' one in John Lewis, on the basis that it is stlyed like a 'messenger' bag, so I don't look a girly tosser when carrying some flowered number.
Had she gone on to say "I'll also treat it as a handbag, stuffing it full of all manner of unrelated-to-a-sprog s
te, such that it continually looks like the seams are about to explode, spoling its rather sleek design" I'd have told her to buy her bloody own. She lies. Not big lies but trivial, unnecessary ones. Akin to the kid with chocolate around their mouth claiming not to have eaten the chocolate. Normally things that she has forgotten to do. She comes up with all sorts of BS about what else happened without ever saying "oh bks, I forgot to do x". Completely unfathomable as to why she feels the need to. Maybe I'm a bit to free with my slaps and should reserve them for burnt dinners/looking at other blokes/because I'm drunk and feel like it.
Answers emphatically about something that it eventually transpires she wasn't sure of/didn't know. Rather than say "I'm not sure" she'll say no or yes (as applicable) with an air of utter certainty. Something like "do we have to get there early to register?"... "no." Get there and yes, we had to register first... "I thought you said we didn't have to?"... "well, I didn't know!"
Answer a question with a different/incomplete answer. "What time will you be home?"... "I've got to take that jumper back and then fill up with petrol"... "right, so what time will you be home". "I have to go to x shopping centre because that's the only y locally"... "right, so what time will you be home"... and on it goes.
Repeats a word or two at a time from a sentence that I didn't hear. "mumble mumble"... "pardon?"... "my mum"... "your mum what?"... "car"... "your mum's car what?"... "outside"... "what about your mum's car outside?"... eventually I'll get the entire sentence but being feed each word one at a time.
Did anyone else get wound up just typing their list out?
ks, I forgot to do x". Completely unfathomable as to why she feels the need to. Maybe I'm a bit to free with my slaps and should reserve them for burnt dinners/looking at other blokes/because I'm drunk and feel like it.Answers emphatically about something that it eventually transpires she wasn't sure of/didn't know. Rather than say "I'm not sure" she'll say no or yes (as applicable) with an air of utter certainty. Something like "do we have to get there early to register?"... "no." Get there and yes, we had to register first... "I thought you said we didn't have to?"... "well, I didn't know!"
Answer a question with a different/incomplete answer. "What time will you be home?"... "I've got to take that jumper back and then fill up with petrol"... "right, so what time will you be home". "I have to go to x shopping centre because that's the only y locally"... "right, so what time will you be home"... and on it goes.
Repeats a word or two at a time from a sentence that I didn't hear. "mumble mumble"... "pardon?"... "my mum"... "your mum what?"... "car"... "your mum's car what?"... "outside"... "what about your mum's car outside?"... eventually I'll get the entire sentence but being feed each word one at a time.
Did anyone else get wound up just typing their list out?
Landlord said:
Answer a question with a different/incomplete answer. "What time will you be home?"... "I've got to take that jumper back and then fill up with petrol"... "right, so what time will you be home". "I have to go to x shopping centre because that's the only y locally"... "right, so what time will you be home"... and on it goes.
Repeats a word or two at a time from a sentence that I didn't hear. "mumble mumble"... "pardon?"... "my mum"... "your mum what?"... "car"... "your mum's car what?"... "outside"... "what about your mum's car outside?"... eventually I'll get the entire sentence but being feed each word one at a time.
Did anyone else get wound up just typing their list out?
Dear God these two boil my urine. And yes to your question. Quite cathartic though!Repeats a word or two at a time from a sentence that I didn't hear. "mumble mumble"... "pardon?"... "my mum"... "your mum what?"... "car"... "your mum's car what?"... "outside"... "what about your mum's car outside?"... eventually I'll get the entire sentence but being feed each word one at a time.
Did anyone else get wound up just typing their list out?
One other thing I've forgotten to moan about is her 'decision blindness'. For ex. when faced with a menu in a restaurant we've been too, oooh let's say 20 times, we still have to go through a rigmarole of looking at each and every item "I just don't know if I'm hungry enough for that", 'I'm not sure I want chicken again'.
I of course tend to already know what I want before we even arrive which makes the wait even more tedious.
Once I even sat with her for 30 mins or so, before she says 'I don't think I want to eat here tonight, can we look for somewhere else?'. I was fuming
I might have to start ordering for her, American Psycho style...
She is getting better at this - but she used to (without fail) only look at the menu properly after the waiter/waitress had been over at least once to ask if we were ready to order.
I'd be sitting there starving and have to send the waiter/waitress away whilst she finally decided what to have.
I'd be sitting there starving and have to send the waiter/waitress away whilst she finally decided what to have.
Moonhawk said:
She is getting better at this - but she used to (without fail) only look at the menu properly after the waiter/waitress had been over at least once to ask if we were ready to order.
I'd be sitting there starving and have to send the waiter/waitress away whilst she finally decided what to have.
Oh yes... OH went to pizza express and I would ask what she wanted... it would always be a standard pepperoni, but instead of picking she would um and ah about it... then after the 2nd or 3rd time of the server turning up it would be a pepperoni.. I'd be sitting there starving and have to send the waiter/waitress away whilst she finally decided what to have.
It does my nut in
One that amuses me is her inability to find anything in a cupboard or particularly the fridge. If it is at the front of the shelf just below eye level she can find it, if not, it might as well just not exist. It doesn't matter how obvious it appears to be, you can hide a whole chicken behind a cherry tomato. It stopped bothering me when I realised I could easily hide anything at all to my advantage while demonstrating how easy it was to find if necessary.
Conversation today.
Her Can you take little pesty to dentist tomorrow at 2:30
Me no, are you working?
Her no
Me why cant you take her then?
Her I'm working tomorrow
Me what?
Her what?
Me you just said you weren't working
Her I'm not
For fk sake
Typical conversation
Her You know Helen
Me yes why what's she done?
Her what's who done?
Grrrrr
Her Can you take little pesty to dentist tomorrow at 2:30
Me no, are you working?
Her no
Me why cant you take her then?
Her I'm working tomorrow
Me what?
Her what?
Me you just said you weren't working
Her I'm not
For f
k sake Typical conversation
Her You know Helen
Me yes why what's she done?
Her what's who done?
Grrrrr
Insists on buying loads of fresh fruit (raspberries, blueberries etc) & doesn't eat them. But then won't throw them out herself as "they're all mouldy" & she doesn't like touching the bin
Puts the bath mat down to have a shower but then proceeds to somehow step over it when getting out & gets water all over the floor
Doesn't like throwing any clothes out. The house is bursting at the seams with fking pyjamas & vest tops, a lot with labels still on. I swear we could cloth Africa with it all
Buys cans of diet coke to take to work at probably 25p each. Forgets to take them (or more likely can't be bothered) & buys one for 90p from Boots or similar
Puts the bath mat down to have a shower but then proceeds to somehow step over it when getting out & gets water all over the floor
Doesn't like throwing any clothes out. The house is bursting at the seams with f
king pyjamas & vest tops, a lot with labels still on. I swear we could cloth Africa with it allBuys cans of diet coke to take to work at probably 25p each. Forgets to take them (or more likely can't be bothered) & buys one for 90p from Boots or similar
These are superb - and proof I am not alone...
Generally I see a lot of what has already been mentioned.
The leaving mess, girl crap everywhere then getting in a strop that the place is a mess. Then the denial that the mess is anything to do with her. Apparently she is the neat one, I am the messy one. Dispite the fact that all my 'things' have a place and get put back there by me or I can't find them. Where as hers just goes anywhere and is then lost when needed.
Slaming doors - oh yes and any mechanical sympathy. I work shifts so sometimes I am out all night or all weekend so sometimes I find that my tools have been used for what ever reason, so appart from them now not being where I expect them to be, any of those little magnetic screw heads are always mashed up as theyve been held in a drill and pointed in the general direction of a screw.
And yes sitting on her arse doing something(or nothing) and requesting if I am up going and getting something for her, not a butler!
Doesn't know where the kettle is either!
Generally I see a lot of what has already been mentioned.
The leaving mess, girl crap everywhere then getting in a strop that the place is a mess. Then the denial that the mess is anything to do with her. Apparently she is the neat one, I am the messy one. Dispite the fact that all my 'things' have a place and get put back there by me or I can't find them. Where as hers just goes anywhere and is then lost when needed.
Slaming doors - oh yes and any mechanical sympathy. I work shifts so sometimes I am out all night or all weekend so sometimes I find that my tools have been used for what ever reason, so appart from them now not being where I expect them to be, any of those little magnetic screw heads are always mashed up as theyve been held in a drill and pointed in the general direction of a screw.
And yes sitting on her arse doing something(or nothing) and requesting if I am up going and getting something for her, not a butler!
Doesn't know where the kettle is either!
budgie smuggler said:
Dear God these two boil my urine. And yes to your question. Quite cathartic though!
One other thing I've forgotten to moan about is her 'decision blindness'. For ex. when faced with a menu in a restaurant we've been too, oooh let's say 20 times, we still have to go through a rigmarole of looking at each and every item "I just don't know if I'm hungry enough for that", 'I'm not sure I want chicken again'.
I of course tend to already know what I want before we even arrive which makes the wait even more tedious.
Once I even sat with her for 30 mins or so, before she says 'I don't think I want to eat here tonight, can we look for somewhere else?'. I was fuming
I might have to start ordering for her, American Psycho style...
Don't just look at it eat it?One other thing I've forgotten to moan about is her 'decision blindness'. For ex. when faced with a menu in a restaurant we've been too, oooh let's say 20 times, we still have to go through a rigmarole of looking at each and every item "I just don't know if I'm hungry enough for that", 'I'm not sure I want chicken again'.
I of course tend to already know what I want before we even arrive which makes the wait even more tedious.
Once I even sat with her for 30 mins or so, before she says 'I don't think I want to eat here tonight, can we look for somewhere else?'. I was fuming
I might have to start ordering for her, American Psycho style...
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