Pistonheaders and their First World War problems.

Pistonheaders and their First World War problems.

Author
Discussion

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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So, I shot this corporal Hitler's left ball off.

That's put paid to his wartime ambitions...

Leithen

10,800 posts

266 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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My cruise in the Dardanelles turned out to be a disaster.

Then I reserved a place on the Britannic's maiden voyage.

Apparently my timing's off, or so Jeeves tells me.

Chunkymonkey71

Original Poster:

13,015 posts

197 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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I can't believe this thread has actually lasted for three pages!

That's somme achievement!

stewy68

1,826 posts

242 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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Bought an A7V from Gunther and Co and it can't even tailgate a Mark 1. When I took it back for a refund - not being fit for purpose IMO - his response was;"it's a German premium brand and doesn't have indicators, what more do you want?".

Madness60

571 posts

183 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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I've just joined the glorious Royal Flying Corps and as I knew my arse from my elbow I'm now a pilot on the front line!! Only been here 15 mins, the chaps are great and the totty is fantastic, I've got a cracking moustache and scarf..... what can possibly go wrong in the next 5 mins??!!

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Monday 27th July 2015
quotequote all
Madness60 said:
I've just joined the glorious Royal Flying Corps and as I knew my arse from my elbow I'm now a pilot on the front line!! Only been here 15 mins, the chaps are great and the totty is fantastic, I've got a cracking moustache and scarf..... what can possibly go wrong in the next 5 mins??!!
Trust no-one. They want you to fly a camel...

55palfers

5,893 posts

163 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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I'm detailed for a firing squad in the morning. Some coward trying to get home claiming he's got "shell-shock"

Madness60

571 posts

183 months

Monday 27th July 2015
quotequote all
55palfers said:
I'm detailed for a firing squad in the morning. Some coward trying to get home claiming he's got "shell-shock"
Nightmare, sodding military justice always shooting people at dawn. They never consider the poor bds who have to get up early to shoot the victim and clean up before breakfast.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Monday 27th July 2015
quotequote all
This time next century, Rodders, this time next century....two world wars and one world cup.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Monday 27th July 2015
quotequote all
The Hun's helmet with a spike on top.

How did they get that past Health and Safety?

drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

210 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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Maybe after the war, I'll go back to selling flowers; roses, carnations, poppies. Poppies, now there's a vision to behold, poppies as far as the eye can see. how lovely.

Tango13

8,398 posts

175 months

Monday 27th July 2015
quotequote all
Madness60 said:
55palfers said:
I'm detailed for a firing squad in the morning. Some coward trying to get home claiming he's got "shell-shock"
Nightmare, sodding military justice always shooting people at dawn. They never consider the poor bds who have to get up early to shoot the victim and clean up before breakfast.
I've always wanted to meet this girl called Dawn, just to find out why the military keep shooting deserters at her?

Also, is a deserter someone that has an extra helping of spotted dick and custard?

CB2152

1,555 posts

132 months

Monday 27th July 2015
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55palfers said:
I'm detailed for a firing squad in the morning. Some coward trying to get home claiming he's got "shell-shock"
My squad were due to shoot some weirdo who shot a pigeon. He got bailed out at the last moment though.

We were very disappointed.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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We spend weeks and months digging trenches, then they expect us to advance and start digging all over again.

This pisses me off more than a little, so I'm going to sit in this one until some bugger invents the tank.


Impasse

15,099 posts

240 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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Is it ever worth spending more than two shillings on a watch?

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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Private Harris has been shot at dawn for driving one of those new-fangled tank things sideways across the battlefield. Some of the men are very upset at his demise. Others seem to not give a flying fk.

Squiggs

1,520 posts

154 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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The farmers over here must like to keep their livestock well penned in - there's barbed wire all over the place.

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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mybrainhurts said:
Trust no-one. They want you to fly a camel...
Oh,FLY!
I thought they said f.....

5-Oh

206 posts

106 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
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Things are desperate here. We've run out of toiletries and my privates are revolting.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Tuesday 28th July 2015
quotequote all
kowalski655 said:
mybrainhurts said:
Trust no-one. They want you to fly a camel...
Oh,FLY!
I thought they said f.....
No, that's goats...