Keeping cold callers on the line for as long as possible...
Discussion
elanfan said:
280E said:
"So what is on the screen?" he says....
"Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
Explanation for the non Geeks please?"Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
I kept the indian computer scammer on the phone for 32 minutes before I got bored and told him to f
k off.I've had a couple of the "your computer has a virus" calls. To the first, the answer "which one - tell me the mac address" led to him hanging up. The second I had hanging on rather longer. You see, they talk you through running some malicious code by doing a "start/run" using the Windows key and R. So, he asked if I could see the Windows key. After a number of repeats to penetrate his accent, I understood what he wanted. I pressed Windows/R. He asked what I could see, I said nothing. 10 minutes later and him trying everything I explained I was running Linux on it so it wouldn't do anything. He hung up.
Best one was a "we are calling about accident" chap. I told him I'd been in a fatal accident, no other vehicles or people involved. I made up some long spiel about driving off a cliff, resulting in a fatality. Eventually he put me through to his supervisor. I asked if he knew what "fatal" meant. When I explained it, he thanked me and hung up! Must have been 20 minutes on speaker with my kids peeing themselves laughing listening to it!
Best one was a "we are calling about accident" chap. I told him I'd been in a fatal accident, no other vehicles or people involved. I made up some long spiel about driving off a cliff, resulting in a fatality. Eventually he put me through to his supervisor. I asked if he knew what "fatal" meant. When I explained it, he thanked me and hung up! Must have been 20 minutes on speaker with my kids peeing themselves laughing listening to it!
My nan was always a very fragile little old lady, she however really really got pissed off with cold callers
She'd get them Talking then reach for her whistle that she kept by the phone just for the occasion and blow it trying to deafen them. The first time she did it I was asleep aged about 12 whilst staying there, scared the life out of me
Now it always makes me chuckle when I hear a whistle
She'd get them Talking then reach for her whistle that she kept by the phone just for the occasion and blow it trying to deafen them. The first time she did it I was asleep aged about 12 whilst staying there, scared the life out of me
Now it always makes me chuckle when I hear a whistle
Nimby said:
elanfan said:
280E said:
"So what is on the screen?" he says....
"Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
Explanation for the non Geeks please?"Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
dave_s13 said:
I routinely have to ring patients from work for follow up appointments and it's quite frustrating to have 99% of people answer with such a miserable tone as they already have me marked down as a cold calling .
They then cheer up tremendously when they realise I'm not a cold calling.
I used to start a conversation with "Hello, is that Mr X....." "What do you want...."
I know start "I'm calling from the NHS X Service - is that Mr X".....it gets a much nicer initial response.
I hate these fkers with a passion, It's unfathomable to me that enough people exist to give them the time of day, never mind their money. Idiots.
Cheer them up, then tell them the bad news........ .They then cheer up tremendously when they realise I'm not a cold calling
.I used to start a conversation with "Hello, is that Mr X....." "What do you want...."
I know start "I'm calling from the NHS X Service - is that Mr X".....it gets a much nicer initial response.
I hate these f
kers with a passion, It's unfathomable to me that enough people exist to give them the time of day, never mind their money. Idiots.
I get the accident chasers all excited, let it go on for a while, give all the details, Van written off hospitalised and had physio etc, some get quite excited at the amount I could get and at the last minute let on that the accident was in Bulgaria.
You can only claim for an accident in the UK. Ha HA
You can only claim for an accident in the UK. Ha HA
I like to keep the Windows man talking as long as I can. My granddad got scammed by one of these s, so every minute I can keep them on is a minute less than they have to scam another vulnerable pensioner. My record to date is 34 minutes 32 seconds. What was special about that call was I got bored after 15 minutes, so I told him I had just been wasting his time and that I didn't even own a windows PC. He still kept trying to convince me for the remainder of the call
Eventually I do het bored, so I start trying to annoy them. Many of them will start verbally abusing you if you upset them enough.
My last one went through the usual procedure of asking me to press the windows key. When he asked me to tell him what was on the screen, I told him it was a message:
"Warning: the person phoning you is a lying, stinking conman. He is trying to deceive you into granting him remote access to your PC so he can fk it up by installing malicious software"
He replied, "Sir, I don't think you are very technically minded". I told him I was technically minded enough not to fall for the bullst of some scamming bellend. After insulting him some more, he told me he was putting me through to his manager. He put somebody else on, who told me he was going to deactivate my version of Windows. I continued abusing him for a while and he told me he was going to tell the police I was using my PC illegally.
s, so every minute I can keep them on is a minute less than they have to scam another vulnerable pensioner. My record to date is 34 minutes 32 seconds. What was special about that call was I got bored after 15 minutes, so I told him I had just been wasting his time and that I didn't even own a windows PC. He still kept trying to convince me for the remainder of the callEventually I do het bored, so I start trying to annoy them. Many of them will start verbally abusing you if you upset them enough.
My last one went through the usual procedure of asking me to press the windows key. When he asked me to tell him what was on the screen, I told him it was a message:
"Warning: the person phoning you is a lying, stinking conman. He is trying to deceive you into granting him remote access to your PC so he can f
k it up by installing malicious software"He replied, "Sir, I don't think you are very technically minded". I told him I was technically minded enough not to fall for the bulls
t of some scamming bellend. After insulting him some more, he told me he was putting me through to his manager. He put somebody else on, who told me he was going to deactivate my version of Windows. I continued abusing him for a while and he told me he was going to tell the police I was using my PC illegally.We used to play 'tennis' with cold sales calls when I worked in an office. The premise of the game was that when you got the call:
'Can I speak with the person who looks after your photocopying please?'
You would obligingly offer to put them through to the right person. You then transfer the call to someone over the other side of the office, who has to pick the phone up and answer something along the lines of:
'Hello accounting. No, no, you've come through to the wrong department. I'll just transfer you.'
They then pass the caller on to the next person, you try to keep the 'rally' going for as long as possible with increasingly obscure departments like:
'Hello, engine room'
Until they hang up. We managed a rally of 14 once, by which point we'd transferred the call to everyone in the office at least twice.
'Can I speak with the person who looks after your photocopying please?'
You would obligingly offer to put them through to the right person. You then transfer the call to someone over the other side of the office, who has to pick the phone up and answer something along the lines of:
'Hello accounting. No, no, you've come through to the wrong department. I'll just transfer you.'
They then pass the caller on to the next person, you try to keep the 'rally' going for as long as possible with increasingly obscure departments like:
'Hello, engine room'
Until they hang up. We managed a rally of 14 once, by which point we'd transferred the call to everyone in the office at least twice.
A friend of a friend had a 0705 number - a follow me, number for life - which at the time you could set up as a premium rate AND revenue share. Being 07 many people think it's a standard mobile but he had it set up to charge a lot, I suspect something like £3/min of which he got half.
He then courted sales calls, PPI, luxury holiday sales and the like, often by filling in website responses.
The intermediate friend is a telco bod and so set the number up so that it was VoIP to a South African township where the kids there were given scripts to keep the callers on the line as long as possible.
He was pulling in £10k a month for a while until they stopped the revenue share on the numbers.
Simon
He then courted sales calls, PPI, luxury holiday sales and the like, often by filling in website responses.
The intermediate friend is a telco bod and so set the number up so that it was VoIP to a South African township where the kids there were given scripts to keep the callers on the line as long as possible.
He was pulling in £10k a month for a while until they stopped the revenue share on the numbers.
Simon
280E said:
"So what is on the screen?" he says....
"Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
LOL. I'm tempted next time i'm at my computer and get one of these calls is to say "hang on whilst I boot the computer up" - then play this video of a ZX spectrum loading "Well, it says C:\>" says I...
Phone line goes dead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbumzCdw4Ts
i get called all the time about a cruise from those "we can get you anything cheaper offer type people" I'm apparently interested in when I say I've never thought about anything of the sort they always ask me if there is anything else they can do for me I usually ask if they can recommend a taxidermist or if I'm feeling particularly devilish a crematorium....
Ring Ring, Hello is the Mr L1OFF
Me: Yes
Him (Indian Chappy): My name is John calling from pain in the arse surveys
Me: Your name is not really John is it?
Him: Yes it is
Me: What do you want John?
Him: I’m doing a survey and you could win an IPad
Me: That’s Nice John, what model of Ipad
Him: I’m not sure
Me: How many IPads do you have to give away John?
Him: I’m carrying out a survey for……
Me: Yes John but I need to know what my chances of winning the IPAd are. Is it 10:1, 100:1, 1,000,000:1?
Him: we have a few
Me: That’s good John but I can’t work out the odds from that can I?
Him: I’m not sure
Me: Have you actually given any IPads away John?
Him: yes
Me: I don’t believe you John
Him: I’m carrying out a survey for …..
Me: Yes John, Can you find out what model of IPad and how many you have and call me back?
Ringtone…..
Me: Yes
Him (Indian Chappy): My name is John calling from pain in the arse surveys
Me: Your name is not really John is it?
Him: Yes it is
Me: What do you want John?
Him: I’m doing a survey and you could win an IPad
Me: That’s Nice John, what model of Ipad
Him: I’m not sure
Me: How many IPads do you have to give away John?
Him: I’m carrying out a survey for……
Me: Yes John but I need to know what my chances of winning the IPAd are. Is it 10:1, 100:1, 1,000,000:1?
Him: we have a few
Me: That’s good John but I can’t work out the odds from that can I?
Him: I’m not sure
Me: Have you actually given any IPads away John?
Him: yes
Me: I don’t believe you John
Him: I’m carrying out a survey for …..
Me: Yes John, Can you find out what model of IPad and how many you have and call me back?
Ringtone…..
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff