Clean Break/Divorce
Discussion
After a little advice here.
Sadly the wife and I are separating, it's my doing as I've reached a point where I have to admit that while I still love and care for her; it's more in a sibling way than a husband and wife way.
We have no children and no third parties are involved.
She is devastated but accepting this, she has started to consider how she will move on and a big part of this is where she'll live.
The issue is I earn more than 3 times what she does, so obviously it is going to be a struggle more to her financially. I would propose to give her all the equity I can from our house (£20-25k), going back up to 90% and take over the mortgage solely. I would also propose to let her keep her car (worth about £12k) and also an inheritance of £10k she received recently.
Meanwhile I would be left with about £20k of equity, but also £20k of unsecured debt which was used for home improvement and to buy her car. I have no further savings, and my pension is pretty much not worth mention, but as said I do have a substantially bigger income.
Oh and my car is on HP worth only very slightly more than I owe.
If I could simply walk away from this house and let her take it over she could have every penny, but she couldn't afford the mortgage.
We both think what I'm proposing is fair, but what I don't want is two years later a court deciding she is due even more which I don't have!
Can anyone advise please?
Thank you.
Sadly the wife and I are separating, it's my doing as I've reached a point where I have to admit that while I still love and care for her; it's more in a sibling way than a husband and wife way.
We have no children and no third parties are involved.
She is devastated but accepting this, she has started to consider how she will move on and a big part of this is where she'll live.
The issue is I earn more than 3 times what she does, so obviously it is going to be a struggle more to her financially. I would propose to give her all the equity I can from our house (£20-25k), going back up to 90% and take over the mortgage solely. I would also propose to let her keep her car (worth about £12k) and also an inheritance of £10k she received recently.
Meanwhile I would be left with about £20k of equity, but also £20k of unsecured debt which was used for home improvement and to buy her car. I have no further savings, and my pension is pretty much not worth mention, but as said I do have a substantially bigger income.
Oh and my car is on HP worth only very slightly more than I owe.
If I could simply walk away from this house and let her take it over she could have every penny, but she couldn't afford the mortgage.
We both think what I'm proposing is fair, but what I don't want is two years later a court deciding she is due even more which I don't have!
Can anyone advise please?
Thank you.
To finalise a divorce it goes before the court (you don't have to attend), and they will set the financial conditions and that's the end of that, no coming back for more. The court will only approve if they think the deal is reasonable for both parties, but normally if you've both agreed that will be accepted. One of you will have to petition the other for divorce, and normally that person would get their solicitor to draft an agreement and the other party would take independant advice (normally a different solicitor) before signing it. If this has happened a court is 99% certain to just stamp it approved.
There have been recent cases where one spouse has got more money after the event, but this only happens in two scenerios. First, there was not full disclosure and one party had more money than they admitted. Second, there were no assets on divorce so no financial settlement was necessary to get decree absolute. Niether should be the case for you.
There have been recent cases where one spouse has got more money after the event, but this only happens in two scenerios. First, there was not full disclosure and one party had more money than they admitted. Second, there were no assets on divorce so no financial settlement was necessary to get decree absolute. Niether should be the case for you.
Thank you, am I right in thinking we would need to wait two years to do it in that case?
Concern is that two years is a long time... if in 23months we have a massive falling out, then things could become messy.
Simply put, I want to do the best I can for her financial, the absolute best I can. But I want to be able to sleep at night too - and look to the future.
Concern is that two years is a long time... if in 23months we have a massive falling out, then things could become messy.
Simply put, I want to do the best I can for her financial, the absolute best I can. But I want to be able to sleep at night too - and look to the future.
D1bram said:
Thank you, am I right in thinking we would need to wait two years to do it in that case?
No, you can go right away. The delays are only when one party refuses. One of you petitions citing unreasonable behaviour and if the other agrees, there's no delay. The courts know that unreasonable behaviour is really just an excuse to move right away, and will accept pretty much any reaon like maybe 'failed to pay me enough attention'. So no-one really needs to lose face over that.otherman said:
No, you can go right away. The delays are only when one party refuses. One of you petitions citing unreasonable behaviour and if the other agrees, there's no delay. The courts know that unreasonable behaviour is really just an excuse to move right away, and will accept pretty much any reaon like maybe 'failed to pay me enough attention'. So no-one really needs to lose face over that.
Really? I'm not going to jump right away, we need to be 100% sure, but that is good to know.Am I also correct in think no solicitor need be involved if both agree on everything?
You need a consent order to settle your finances. you can specify the terms and a clean break, meaning that after the order is applied you have no further commitments to each other.
You will need to submit a statement of your assets, liabilities and earnings to the court. And if the judge agrees they stamp it off and you're done.
I just did my own divorce and Consent Order with the help of a friend who is a lawyer. I made a few administrative mistakes and the papers got bounced a couple of times, but it's fairly easy.
You agree, there are no children
children should be straightforward.
If it's gone this far and you've had that discussion then get the administration done and move on with your life.
Of you need it, pm me I don't mind sharing the info I have.
You will need to submit a statement of your assets, liabilities and earnings to the court. And if the judge agrees they stamp it off and you're done.
I just did my own divorce and Consent Order with the help of a friend who is a lawyer. I made a few administrative mistakes and the papers got bounced a couple of times, but it's fairly easy.
You agree, there are no children
children should be straightforward.
If it's gone this far and you've had that discussion then get the administration done and move on with your life.
Of you need it, pm me I don't mind sharing the info I have.
Edited by Glade on Wednesday 29th July 21:02
A very similar scenario happened with my wife about 15yrs ago, we worked all the details out and agreed the split amicably. We went to the same solicitor to get the agreement written up and in legal form ready to present to the court until he told us that we now need to have separate legal representation each, a legal requirement apparently. This all worked fine, although her new solicitor said she could get more! Luckily she stood by the agreement and all went ahead smoothly,
Kenty said:
A very similar scenario happened with my wife about 15yrs ago, we worked all the details out and agreed the split amicably. We went to the same solicitor to get the agreement written up and in legal form ready to present to the court until he told us that we now need to have separate legal representation each, a legal requirement apparently. This all worked fine, although her new solicitor said she could get more! Luckily she stood by the agreement and all went ahead smoothly,
Same here except when she went to a different solicitor the s
t hit the fan.In the end we ended up at the exact same split as had been agreed upon initially but were down around £25k in legal bills between us and was the most horrific six months of my life which I'm still feeling the strain from a year later.
My advice to OP would be to find a sensible solicitor experienced in mediation to consult on a joint basis initially with a view to encouraging her to find a similar solicitor to act for her. And then pray, lots, to whover floats your boat that when she gets over the initial shock she doesn't become seized by desires for revenge or fears about her future fuelled by an unscrupulous solicitor looking to pay for the next wing on his house by prolonging your divorce proceedings.
EDIT -
I'd also very much recommend this:
Impasse said:
Is Relate counseling out of the question?
No matter how logical and civil things seem now it's pretty much guaranteed that divorce will get very messy by the end. If counselling doesn't fix it then at least in the long dark nights which will come your way at least you'll know that you did all you could to prevent the misery, upheavel and distress you'll experience.
Edited by HerrSchnell on Thursday 30th July 08:37
If you are quite sure that it's over then I'd suggest that you go ahead sooner than later, while you're both likely to comply with any arrangements. As others have said, 2 years is quite a long time and there's no need to wait anyway. However, there's also no real need to rush things along regardless as you will both benefit from a bit of time to adapt.
Start soon, but progress steadily.
Start soon, but progress steadily.
HerrSchnell said:
My advice to OP would be to find a sensible solicitor experienced in mediation to consult on a joint basis initially with a view to encouraging her to find a similar solicitor to act for her.
Why not find a sensible sollicitor to thrash things out together.Then when everything is more or less settled, find another sollicitor to act on your behalf.
That way the chance of rocking the boat introducing the new sollicitor is minimal.
I'd get straight to a friendly solicitor if I was in your position.
In fact - I was in your position. Ex in agreement in what she was leaving with and me ok with that.
Used the solicitor to sum up what we were up to and make sure it'd pass muster in the court. Best £3k I ever spent. fking God only knows what would have happened if she'd have been left to her own devices. There were plenty of stories she screamed at me about how when Dazza left Shazza at work she was better off. But because it was all in progress she was inclined to carry on.
Divorce is st enough without the chance of fking up the money side of it. Solicitor FTW.
In fact - I was in your position. Ex in agreement in what she was leaving with and me ok with that.
Used the solicitor to sum up what we were up to and make sure it'd pass muster in the court. Best £3k I ever spent. f
king God only knows what would have happened if she'd have been left to her own devices. There were plenty of stories she screamed at me about how when Dazza left Shazza at work she was better off. But because it was all in progress she was inclined to carry on.Divorce is s
t enough without the chance of fking up the money side of it. Solicitor FTW.Seek said:
Why not find a sensible sollicitor to thrash things out together.
Then when everything is more or less settled, find another sollicitor to act on your behalf.
That way the chance of rocking the boat introducing the new sollicitor is minimal.
That is a better plan actually.Then when everything is more or less settled, find another sollicitor to act on your behalf.
That way the chance of rocking the boat introducing the new sollicitor is minimal.
Best of luck OP.
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