Living as an ex-pat, the downsides
Discussion
Been an ex-pat for over 40 years now. Methinks the "ex-Pat Problem" as mentioned applies only to those who refuse to integrate, or speak the language etc., who want to live in a "little Britain" somewhere "foreign". I still have some family in the UK, can get there relatively fast if I need to (7 hours car, 2-3 hours plane travel) and certainly miss some friends, but with the internet we can still keep contact when necessary. (After 40-odd years they really are friends and not just acquintances!)
What I miss (but most probably no longer exist) the quiet pub in the countryside with a cool pint of bitter and a ploughmans (were new when I left!). I can get virtually everything else. Return? Very doubtful.....
What I miss (but most probably no longer exist) the quiet pub in the countryside with a cool pint of bitter and a ploughmans (were new when I left!). I can get virtually everything else. Return? Very doubtful.....
I think an Immigrant is someone who has severed all ties with their mother country with no intention of returning, whereas an expatriate will retain their mother country identity, passport, ties and probably has some intention of returning.
There also seems to be the difference between a retiree / snowbird and someone who is living and working overseas.
I have been doing it in SE Asia long enough that most of my mates live live in the region anyway, either locals or other "expats". Anyway, Singapore, Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur and now Bangkok, it all works for me.
and yes, i do get pissed, don't we all???
There also seems to be the difference between a retiree / snowbird and someone who is living and working overseas.
I have been doing it in SE Asia long enough that most of my mates live live in the region anyway, either locals or other "expats". Anyway, Singapore, Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur and now Bangkok, it all works for me.
and yes, i do get pissed, don't we all???
Eric Mc said:
Why isn't the thread title "Living as an Immigrant"?
Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
That's my favourite throw back when my father complains about immigrants, "But I’m am immigrant"Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
Iv used it on a colleague as well when he was complaining about Eastern Europeans and Turks and being German and blunt he just said i'm not an immigrant because i am white and have a (good) job
I left the uk nearly 8 years ago for a 3 year position in Germany, quit and become a contractor 3 years ago after I decided i really really really didn’t want to return to the UK (north especially being that I am a shandy drinking southern anchor)
Its difficult being away but its very easy and cheap enough to visit and in an emergency i could be back in 8h driving if their were no flights. My main reason besides beer for loving Germany is the weather, being able to plan a weekend activity and not worry about it being a washout is fantastic.
Just wish i could master the damn language
Edited by Lord 
on Thursday 6th August 08:43
on Thursday 6th August 08:43I didn't move as far as many have in this thread, but I've lived in Luxembourg since 1998. I moved here for work. I could do the same job as in the UK, and at the time with better prospects than if I'd stayed in England. The traffic here in the "capital village" is far less than in my hometown of Bournemouth.
I probably wouldn't have moved if it hadn't been for my eldest brother having itchy feet when he was younger. He's lived and worked in the U.S since he was 22, way back in 1986 - California, east coast and now in the mid-west, Chicagoland.
Honestly, I thought I'd only be in Lux for 1-2 years, but I married (a former colleague) in 1999 and have 2 teenage daughters who attend the local high schools. They speak 4 languages: English, German, French & Luxembourgish. Clearly the least one there is only useful in Luxembourg, or in out of the way places like Belgium in Wisconsin! I want them to have opportunities I didn't when I was growing up. Speaking those languages will help them in their careers later in life, whatever they choose to do.
We've friends of different nationalities and cultures, which is great. The team I manage at work is definitely international: Luxembourgish, Spanish, French (a few), Lebanese & Russian! Our business language is English, but French is used all day everyday for office chat.
My wife's British and we've ageing parents in the UK. We go back once or twice/year, although I'm regularly in London for work. I travel all over the world for my work, which is very interesting.
I really only miss 3 things about England: family, mates and the beaches I grew up so close to.
Perhaps when I retire in 15 years or so we may find ourselves somewhere that's always warm!
I probably wouldn't have moved if it hadn't been for my eldest brother having itchy feet when he was younger. He's lived and worked in the U.S since he was 22, way back in 1986 - California, east coast and now in the mid-west, Chicagoland.
Honestly, I thought I'd only be in Lux for 1-2 years, but I married (a former colleague) in 1999 and have 2 teenage daughters who attend the local high schools. They speak 4 languages: English, German, French & Luxembourgish. Clearly the least one there is only useful in Luxembourg, or in out of the way places like Belgium in Wisconsin! I want them to have opportunities I didn't when I was growing up. Speaking those languages will help them in their careers later in life, whatever they choose to do.
We've friends of different nationalities and cultures, which is great. The team I manage at work is definitely international: Luxembourgish, Spanish, French (a few), Lebanese & Russian! Our business language is English, but French is used all day everyday for office chat.
My wife's British and we've ageing parents in the UK. We go back once or twice/year, although I'm regularly in London for work. I travel all over the world for my work, which is very interesting.
I really only miss 3 things about England: family, mates and the beaches I grew up so close to.
Perhaps when I retire in 15 years or so we may find ourselves somewhere that's always warm!
Eric Mc said:
Why isn't the thread title "Living as an Immigrant"?
Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
No, but very often we are seen as different - and openly so. The number of times people have openly overcharged me because, in their words, "you're white and rich", is crazy. If brits gave the same attitude towards someone brown, in the UK, then we would probably be arrested, beaten up, or vilified by a lefty. Yet in reverse it's perfectly OK. Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
Every rickshaw I get: "Meter broken, that's 500 rupees" (for a 50r trip).
Every time I go to a bar: "Only imported beers available" (at double the price, whilst the locals all get the cheap cold Kingfisher)
As mentioned before, foreigner/white man tax on everything.
I've got a PAN card (an Indian income tax card, bit like a NI number), yet every time I use it I get accused of faking it, or that it's not valid, because "You're white, you can't have one". From policemen, soldiers, train inspectors, everything. Er, I live here, I pay tax here, now accept it or go and get your sargeant and I'll argue it with him.
Can't go anywhere, any restaurant, any bus or train or even walk down the street, without people staring or kids pointing.
I am not allowed to forget I am a brit here, and it is nigh on impossible to assimilate, as simple as that, and it's easier to call myself that, than to try and use any other denomination/designation.
Trust me, I want to be anonymous, but it's simply not possible.
It's a bit different than a Frenchman coming to London.
5potTurbo said:
I didn't move as far as many have in this thread, but I've lived in Luxembourg since 1998. I moved here for work. I could do the same job as in the UK, and at the time with better prospects than if I'd stayed in England. The traffic here in the "capital village" is far less than in my hometown of Bournemouth.
5pot, we have a lot in common.I moved here in 1997.
I was brought up for a number of years in Westborne, and Parkstone.
We both like nice lunches.
Eric Mc said:
OpulentBob said:
No, but very often we are seen as different - and openly so.
Not much different to how many immigrants are viewed in the UK.If I were a taxi driver, and I charge Ahmed from Baghdad 10 times the amount I charge Fred from down the road for a taxi ride, I get (at best) vilified by the left, and (at worse) arrested and lose my business. Look at what happens to hotels who try and charge
s a fatter security deposit for their weddings. Here, it is accepted and practically promoted that having a white face means you're here to have your wallet emptied.
I'm no racist - or I wouldn't be here - but I can see it for what it is.
I have been an ex-pat for 13 years, in my case in England, and probably going to up sticks to another country soon. The downside is I no longer feel like I belong in my home country (Oz), as it has changed for the worse in my eyes, and as my parents are getting older, and although they are about to retire, they unlike to leave the country for travel for health reasons due to an accident, I don't want to go back.
I travel a lot for work, and likely to move countries again for a job oportunity, for the challenge, rather than the need. I guess personally I just feel like a nomad, not belonging anywhere (Leaving home at 16 and no brothers and sisters, so weaker family bonds, I became self reliant, and a key factor in it all), but I do feel more at home when I just on a plane with a Union Jack on the tail than a Kangaroo. But the last few years I have questioned when I want to settle down and retire to (a long way off), and the answer is "I don't know".
I travel a lot for work, and likely to move countries again for a job oportunity, for the challenge, rather than the need. I guess personally I just feel like a nomad, not belonging anywhere (Leaving home at 16 and no brothers and sisters, so weaker family bonds, I became self reliant, and a key factor in it all), but I do feel more at home when I just on a plane with a Union Jack on the tail than a Kangaroo. But the last few years I have questioned when I want to settle down and retire to (a long way off), and the answer is "I don't know".
Adenauer said:
5potTurbo said:
I didn't move as far as many have in this thread, but I've lived in Luxembourg since 1998. I moved here for work. I could do the same job as in the UK, and at the time with better prospects than if I'd stayed in England. The traffic here in the "capital village" is far less than in my hometown of Bournemouth.
5pot, we have a lot in common.I moved here in 1997.
I was brought up for a number of years in Westborne, and Parkstone.
We both like nice lunches.
OpulentBob said:
Eric Mc said:
OpulentBob said:
No, but very often we are seen as different - and openly so.
Not much different to how many immigrants are viewed in the UK.If I were a taxi driver, and I charge Ahmed from Baghdad 10 times the amount I charge Fred from down the road for a taxi ride, I get (at best) vilified by the left, and (at worse) arrested and lose my business. Look at what happens to hotels who try and charge
s a fatter security deposit for their weddings. Here, it is accepted and practically promoted that having a white face means you're here to have your wallet emptied.
I'm no racist - or I wouldn't be here - but I can see it for what it is.
It's a very interesting contrast you outline in your earlier post.
Adenauer said:
JMGS4 said:
Been an ex-pat for over 40 years now. Methinks the "ex-Pat Problem" as mentioned applies only to those who refuse to integrate, or speak the language etc., who want to live in a "little Britain" somewhere "foreign".
I agree with that and have seen it a number of times.(whereas I am marrying a local next week and will probably stay the rest of my life, which is the other extreme...)
I'm reading the posts about people allegedly pining to be with their grandparents as they are in their final stages of life, I'm thinking exactly how much time would you be spending with them if you still lived over here?
Not much more in reality, you've just got a better excuse than I have.
Not much more in reality, you've just got a better excuse than I have.
NAS said:
Adenauer said:
JMGS4 said:
Been an ex-pat for over 40 years now. Methinks the "ex-Pat Problem" as mentioned applies only to those who refuse to integrate, or speak the language etc., who want to live in a "little Britain" somewhere "foreign".
I agree with that and have seen it a number of times.(whereas I am marrying a local next week and will probably stay the rest of my life, which is the other extreme...)
Congratulations
227bhp said:
I'm reading the posts about people allegedly pining to be with their grandparents as they are in their final stages of life, I'm thinking exactly how much time would you be spending with them if you still lived over here?
Not much more in reality, you've just got a better excuse than I have.
...and going back to my post about quality time... I actually believe I see more of my parents & son now than I did when I was in the UK. I hadn't seen my sister in 6 years before I was able to travel to Oz last Christmas......Not much more in reality, you've just got a better excuse than I have.
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